Attachment...


I was not sure what to call this post and where to publish it either. Here or on the Uncensored one. What should I call it ? On Death , Parallel Lives or just Attachment ? And why the Uncensored blog and not here ?

I've been debating fine lines with myself... Not that it really matters to you, but for me they are important. This may stem from my new compulsion - that of finding order or creating order in my life, after all this chaos. A possible, pathetic attempt to categorize, compartmentalize, events and people, so this feeling of total loss of control, becomes less acute...

In the end, it does not really matter. Just as the dead don't request their exact place of burial, these fine lines are irrelevant too.

Some dying people do request their place of burial. What a luxury ! They specify in advance the exact location, the rites and who should be invited to their funeral.

I have often wondered, and I do admit, I can be quite macabre when it comes to parallel lives - what is easiest - Sudden or Protracted ?

Like what is easiest a bullet in the head, a sudden heart attack or some long agony through torture or some disease ?

Don't give me your replies yet. It all depends, really.

For the person who leaves, I suppose sudden is best but am not sure...I sometimes like to think that protracted is more painful but a more lucid way of going.

Sudden seems like instant coffee to me. No real preparation and no flavor.

But then I think again and I suppose, sudden is easiest for the one who departs and hardest for those around him/her. They were given no time to prepare themselves, unlike the protracted one about to leave...

It is all really a question of balance. Who gets what first.

Not that I want to get flippant about Death. But, really at the end of the Day, and this is what Death is all about - the End of a Day - and a long journey ahead or maybe not...

Had theologians, priests, rabbis, sheiks, monks and seers been more clement vis a vis this journey, am sure more of us would welcome it with open arms. I suppose they just projected their own fears and ideologies and most of us followed them like sheep...to Hell.

I must admit, God could have also pro-actively chipped in with more positive affirmations about the whole thing. Instead of this all or nothing proposal. You either dwell in heaven or you rot in the fire...All or nothing. Terrible, really.

What if you were half-half ? Like half an angel and half a demon ? Or what if you were just an ordinary human ? Where would you exactly fit in, in the after life ?

I am still debating if this is a morbid subject or not. I suppose it all depends on how you receive it.

Which brings me to the subject of attachment.

How easily we get attached. We get attached to family, people, places, things, ideas and causes...or anything else...

And when we are meant to leave, our pain and that of those around us, is proportional to our attachment. Except for objects. They don't give a damn if you love them or not...But you do.

The more attached we/they are, the harder it is to let go. The less attached, the easier...

Attachment is often underestimated and misunderstood. On the one hand we need attachment to realize ourselves and on the other, attachment can prove to be our greatest handicap. I agree, it is a mind fuck.

How to strike the balance is a lifetime endeavor. Not that I have done so myself. I keep oscillating...

OK, let's cut the chase here. I have lost two good friends, suddenly. And another, in a protracted fashion - all in the space of 6 months.
For the latter, I was prepared. But totally unprepared for the former(s). Sudden deaths are sudden for both parties. I feel very sad I can't attend his/her funeral. OK am lying. I don't believe he/she is dead. So suddenly...

I don't like the word "suddenly". Elements of surprise don't go well with me. They suddenly throw me back to Attachment.Or the sudden loss of It.

Painting : Iraqi artist, Mohamad Msyir, "The Sun", 2007.

Comments

Anonymous said…
I prefer Heaven as in Islam than in Christianity.

It is more understandable, less stressing, and also more sincerely loveable, our very earthly, sensible, tangible experience of happiness, only eternalized.
Anonymous said…
Death is a poor miserable frustrated sad ass because in millions of years of hard work it has not been able to make out what is that binds humans to each other and humans and things together.

You must be jealous and proud of this secret, cultivate it, grow it, believe in it against the senses and against reason, at the cost of suffering, for it is the only thing that remains, that will remain of us, that will make us remain...
Anonymous said…
KARLMARX--This is too profound to make pithy, simple remarks in a comment. One thing I can say for sure. Regarding people, not inanimate objects. Whether they go quickly, suddenly, or slowly, the less suffering, the better. The WORSE way to go is from unnecessary cruelty, barbarity, torture, war, pain that people inflict upon one another. THAT is controllable. THAT has NO excuse. And, I am NOT talking about a "crime" that is committed by a starving person. I am talking about gratuitous violence. As for the "sudden" death, you are correct. It feels like the person simply still exists, away on vacation, somewhere. Especially, when he/she is young. But, also, how YOU feel is tied in with HOW he/she lived his/her life and what kind of person he/she was. I can't go much beyond these very offhand, casual remarks, here.
Anonymous said…
Karlmarx,
"unnecessary cruelty, barbarity, torture... THAT is controllable. THAT has NO excuse."

Spot on. Many people here would torture an American, any American if they could.

Layla,

Your hatred for the USA is out of control. The minute you soften your heart is when you deserve mercy yourself.

All you preach is hatred, so who should shed a tear for you when you lose friends and loved ones?

Greg from USA
Anonymous said…
One should live life like an engagement and be prepared for death as if for a marriage.

Let's say long agonies are well-arranged, detailedly organized, great pomp wedding parties while sudden deaths are impromptu elopements.

In any case, you shouldn't be any more sorrowful for the departed than you would be for a dear one who goes to get married far away.
bARABie said…
"Many people here would torture an American, any American if they could.... woof woof woof"

Don't you dare bark about toture you leading employer of torturers, you dirty low life murdering thieving ignoramus yankee scum.


Here is a 15 year old denied ALL basic HUMAN RIGHTS and TORTURED by ADULTS!

You swine have lost all moral grounds within regards to lecturing anyone about torture, SCUM.

You don't understand how MUCH you yanks are despised!
Even a TFOU has more dignity than the majority of yanks COMBINED.
Wlak even the faeces i flush has more goodness in it than most obese yanks combined.
D I S G U S T I N G!!!!!!!
bARABie said…
Layla, about the subject of the article.........

Hmmmmm, this is a very personal matter which i HAVE experienced and for me, it's much easier on both the sick and the carers if it's not protracted.
Anonymous said…
When Juno is set free, Jupiter comes down to earth, whispers an "end of a knight" tale in our ears...goodnight.
Anonymous said…
Barabie is a lesbian.
Anonymous said…
What a good post ! You forgot the purgatory where you have a chance to purge your sins before ascending to heaven.
Death is a fascinating subjet; I for one would like to live this ultimate experience not to be cut off without warning. I do not believe that near death experiences have a lot of value since it might be a way our body gives us a last high before we leave it.
Anonymous said…
The President's death was a fine death, instant but expected, lucid but painless, and above all chosen.

The problem is always of those who are left behind, i.e. in the shit.
bARABie said…
"Anonymous someone said...

When Juno is set free, Jupiter comes down to earth, whispers an "end of a knight" tale in our ears...goodnight."

And when "someone" is set free, a certain "someone" will shut up.
You are like a scratched CD, repeat repeat repeat repeat ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Wake me me up "someone" when "someone" has new material.
bARABie said…
"Anonymous Anonymous said...

Barabie is a lesbian."

Exactly HOW does that relate to this article?
Anonymous said…
When Juno is set free, Jupiter comes down to earth, whispers an "end of a knight" tale in our ears...goodnight.
Anonymous said…
"Exactly how does that relate to this article"

It relates to every article, the sole reason for your posting comments on this blog being the absurd hope of seducing Layla.

No way, the slut is into cocks, preferably "card-carrying" ones...
Anonymous said…
"I would go so far as to say that barring any major and unexpected developments (like an Israeli air strike on Iran and the retaliations that would follow), a fair-minded person could say with reasonable certainty that the war has ended. A new and better nation is growing legs. What's left is messy politics that likely will be punctuated by low-level violence and the occasional spectacular attack. Yet, the will of the Iraqi people has changed, and the Iraqi military has dramatically improved, so those spectacular attacks are diminishing along with the regular violence. Now it's time to rebuild the country, and create a pluralistic, stable and peaceful Iraq. That will be long, hard work. But by my estimation, the Iraq War is over. We won. Which means the Iraqi people won."

-Michael Yon

Have a nice life.

Greg from USA
Anonymous said…
A solution to your endless (nightmarish) "oscillating" between attachment and self-preservation could be that you start believing that concrete things and people your senses perceive around you are not true but merely cheap material reflections of the superior "ideas" of themselves that exist eternally perfect and unperishable somewhere above (or within ?)
Anonymous said…
Philosopher of my butt,

1) Make up your mind, you can't be "above-ist" and "within-ist" at the same time.

2) "Your" theory always holds its own peculiar fascination, what a pity that the "cheap, material, imperfect" Iraqis still happen to value this world and especially their occupied motherland, as transient as it is, and to be too busy fighting to defend the little good that is left of it to waste any time wanking off over philosophy(ies).

3) Kindly go back to sleep.
Anonymous said…
Last night Layla finally granted her "favours" to me, Prof. As'ad Abu Khalil the Great, by a pool in the moon-lit roof-garden of her Babylonian-styled villa in Zarqa, Jordan.

Hail the "conqueror" ! :-)
Anonymous said…
I personally don't give a fuck whether I die slowly or suddenly, peacefully or violently, decrepit or still in the bloom of age.

Just cut my long hair and braid it into a wreathe to be laid you-know-where - and then bury the rest of what was me anywhere in ARAB land.
Anonymous said…
I love my cat.
annie said…
hm, so i see we have another annie here. how interesting.

considering death is a luxury you can afford, since it isn't in your cards just yet, whether you seek it or not layla.

imho

re death and attachment. i found out very quickly what i was attached to when my closet/ favorite/friend/blood/child baby sister died suddenly at a young age (20). nothing (i had no other attachments her death was all consuming). everything paled in comparison and yet we continue.

wondering where you may end up in the after life simply diverts one from all the acts that place us in the most rising position at that future time. it is futile.

finding order or creating order in my life, after all this chaos. A possible, pathetic attempt to categorize, compartmentalize, events and people, so this feeling of total loss of control, becomes less acute

good luck w/that. my experience is that it won't help.

the heart has its own clock. you can't push it, or manipulate it, or anything. release. or wallow in it. at least that's what i do and something tells me we have a few things in common (although i completely defer to you in terms of most aspects of creativity and expression).

But then I think again and I suppose, sudden is easiest for the one who departs and hardest for those around him/her.

no i cannot say i agree w/you tho i cannot imagine the pain of my sister's death being less excruciating for me under any circumstances. knowing their death was sudden can be a sole relief. much better than the imaginings of slow torture of a loved one. or them being missing imagining at that moment they could be experiencing horrid pain.

ok, i won't go on w/that. too hideous to imagine.

What if you were half-half ? Like half an angel and half a demon ? Or what if you were just an ordinary human ? Where would you exactly fit in, in the after life ?

there are no neutral thoughts dear one. you are the decider of your fate, not another. it all comes down to our ability to forgive ourselves for we are the only one who knows our thoughts. your inner being is known to you, and strength is not your adversary. beating against the chains of pain is natural and required.

the heart has its own clock.

in peace

a
annie said…
closest. i meant my closest, not closet. she was always my closest in life until she died. irreplaceable. forever gone tho always living in my heart.
Anonymous said…
Those who will be lost...are the ones we adore the most.
Anonymous said…
So you dirty slut are you celebrating your crappy "July revolution" anniversary with your criminal Ba'thi Sunni Jarab cronies today?

hahahahahahahahahaha bunch of losers!
Anonymous said…
I am so happy, that you have finally gotten what you deserve! I hear, our prime minister, who has been taken to court by MY nation, and who is most probably gonna be dismissed from politics for at least 5 years, has visited your admirable BAGHDAD!!!!! He hates MUSTAFA KEMAL ATATÜRK as much as you do! Not that what he thinks makesa a difference!
And amazingly enough, he thinks, suggests, that we TÜRK should read and write in a sick language that only your grandmother, who is from the Armenian mountains could think about!!Layla, get a grip of yourself, ifyou cannot do that, ask your brother to kiss my shoelace!'!é11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NUR
Anonymous said…
KISS MY KEMALIST ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
as always!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NUR
Anonymous said…
YOU!!!!!! have no idea of what MUSTAFA KEMAL ATATÜRK is about , so shut the fuck up and crawl to the hell-hole that you belong in your Italian high-heeled shoes!!!!!!!!What a digrace, for someone claiming to craddle civilization!!?? I see, civilization means a disgraceful orgy for you!!!!! Including Saddam, his sons and the lions!!!..........
Good luck with the investments in the new new middle east, layla the shmuck and the new generation!!!!!!!!!!!
NUR
Anonymous said…
and KARL MARX, I have nothing to say to you! Except, that you can kiss my IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII world war ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anonymous said…
Must be the 'my prophet says "to speak the language of the speaker" SHIT!!!!!!
Layla, you can kiss my KEMALIST ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And you and your brother will never forget the ............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
KEMALISM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You make me sick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NUR
Anonymous said…
layla, you couldn't , even your hero, couldn't be HIS toenail, so go get a pedicure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NUR
Anonymous said…
And then I suggest you suck on it, you SLUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And then gurgle on the Arabic you are so proud of!!!!!!!!!!!
MUSTAFA KEMAL ATATÜRK is totally beyond your reach,
NUR
Anonymous said…
How much is your soul worth/a barrell?!!!
NUR
Anonymous said…
What started out as a promising discussion about death, dying from a macrocosm, the death of a belief, a country, a way of life to death on an up close and personal level, the microcosm of death of the body, the physical, and physical bonds of family, friends, neighbors.

Unfortunately the discussion has been interuppted by those in love with their own voice, with their own personal 'satisfaction' of cruelty to those who do not agree with their 'legitimized' philosophy and way of life.

My personal fears are not about death they are about dying. I'll be happy if I can slip away like my grandfather, early morning after his early farm chores, sitting on his favorite chair looking at his land: Maybe that's what heaven really is? A good death.

Death? Heaven? Hell? It really doesn't matter because truly the one thing common to all who inhabit this earth is death?

I also believe your spirit comes back, because life-death-life is a series a cycle of lessons and truly the sins of your father are inherited by the sons (think macrocosm not microcosm) If we ruin the earth, it'll be 'us' our spirits that have to deal with it in the future.

Live your best everyday, 'hurt not the earth, neither the seas, nor the trees' Pray every day to whomever you want but let that prayer be: Bless my children and my children's children.

Peace out....
Adele
Layla Anwar said…
Thank you all for your comments.

Some are very thoughtful. Others, oh well....

Nur, you kemalist freak - a reminder you lunatic raving idiot.

You know what to do and when to do it ;-)

In case it slipped out of your worthless brains let me remind you again KISS IT.
Anonymous said…
Layla,
YES, I know what to do and when to do it,while you are miserably whining about how you have been raped and ................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NUR
Anonymous said…
My brains are worth the IRAQ that your whole ancestors could Paola Pisi, you idiot!!!!!!!!!!
NUR
Anonymous said…
@not so very sound mind,
ATATÜRK and saddam are not very comparable!!!!!!!!!
NUR
Anonymous said…
IF you know what I mean! BWAHAHAJHHAGNÖMNÖMkjfkjsdzc xc njdjwewd xaöns dajnsdc c cjwıjeowı!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NUR
Anonymous said…
I must admit, God could have also pro-actively chipped in with more positive affirmations about the whole thing. Instead of this all or nothing proposal. You either dwell in heaven or you rot in the fire...All or nothing. Terrible, really.

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