The American jargon calls it a win-win situation, negotiating for "excellence" (hahahaha- sorry can't help this outburst of "hysterical" laughter. It's just these two antinomic precepts "American" and "Excellence" that never fail to crack me up.)
In the light of the above recommendations and seeing that the "surge" is really working, the figures for the month of November is 718 Iraqis dead, only.
Hey what's 718 Iraqis killed ? It's nothing...
America thank you, you are just excellent. It’s working. The plan is perfect. You are a most brilliant people. (Hahahahaha sorry I have to laugh again, it must be nervous. You know, wrong time of the month, PMS and all. Am sure Oprah has something to say about that too. Oprah is the ultimate reference next to Wikipedia of course.)
Today, am in a really win-win situation. We are "in it together" for the "long haul."
After all, over 10 of your military bases will be staying on for a long, long time.
I have even polished up my accent, I have a nasal twang too. See how adaptable I am?
Oh yeah! And guess what? I even got myself a cowboy hat and a pair of cowboy boots and am listening to country music.
I have even begun to appreciate Dolly. No, not Dolly, the cloned sheep, Dolly Parton.
I am even planning a trip to Ze Lebanon for a boob job. Will a "double D" be OK with you? I will even pump it up, my lips that is- free of charge...
Am now ideologically flexible. Am cool. Am a flexible, malleable, easy going...
Oh Yeah, the surge is working.
I realized how wrong I was. I realized that Saddam was a horrible tyrant of a dictator.
OK he did not have any WMD's and no ties to Al-Qaeda but hey so what? The fight against terrorism and dictatorship must go on. Iraq MUST BE FREE.
I realized how wrong it was of me to hold grudges against Americans and their Iranian Shiites collaborators.
OK, a few Soooneees got drilled, and it's been an ethnic cleansing that makes Hitler blush with timidity...But I need to think out of the box and look long term. Have a forward kind of vision.
OK, so we are segregated in Ghettos. OK, Iraq is the most corrupt "country" in the world, but that's unimportant, I really need to go for the win-win situation.
OK, Iraq has nothing functioning. Sectarianism is still rampant. The new fascist Shiites are holding full exclusive power and are blessed by the Americans, they are its only functioning arm. But hey, that is fine with me.
I need to revise my concepts and understand that democracy and freedom have many facets I don't comprehend.
After all, am nothing but a woman and if they slaughter a few of my own, then that's OK too. It's unfortunate but it's meant to be...
I just absolutely love my new frame of mind. I am finally putting in practice what I have learnt. Am a slow learner- granted, but give me the benefit of the doubt, please.¨
After all, Abu Ghraib and Falluja are just two unfortunate episodes. Let's wipe the slate clean.
After all Abeer and Mahdmoudiah are just isolated incidents.
After all Haditha is just another terrorist nest, and it had to be done.
OK, there were a little excesses here and there, but nothing major, really.
Kamel, Omar, Waleed, Hassan and Nabil, are just errors. You apologized. That is more than enough. You even gave us 200$ for one of them. That is very generous of you.
How could I have been so stupid and not seen your good intentions?
Blackwater is being legally punished. The fact that the "Iraqi government" only decided to do something about it because those killed were called Al-Rubaie and happened to be Shiites has absolutely nothing to do with it.
Our new government is fair and just. It's only the Saddamists and those old Baathists that are still terrorizing.
The Shiites militias from Iran are just a figment of my imagination. And how could I have ever thought wrong of them!? They are filled with the best of intentions. They are slaughtering the Sunnis for their own good. Damn, how could I have not realized that profound truth before ?
The corrupt ones are from the old regime and they need to be lynched.
The fact that current ministries are still torture centers and audits tell us that billions of dollars are missing is just another propaganda ploy. An insurgency ploy. An anti-democratic, anti-freedom ploy. It's nothing but a psy-op.
What an ungrateful shameless people they, am -are to level such accusations.
The fact that the DAWA party (of which "our president" is a member) is an Iranian party that was formed during the Iraq-Iran war. The fact that Al-Hakeem, Maliki and Muqtada Sadr are all puppets for Iran is totally inconsequential. The fact that they can't speak Arabic without a Farsee accent is nothing but coincidental.
How could I have been so blind? How could I have been so "sectarian". Shame on me!
After all Iran is the only regional power standing up to the Great Satan (as in Iraq of course) and to the Zionist entity. Iran has no sectarian agenda, it's all pure altruism. It's the charity foundation from which all the anti- war movement can go and quench their thirst. Their thirst for "true anti-imperialism."
The fact that its militias in Iraq have brought down the Palestinian population there from 35'000 to 7'000 is again nothing but a coincidence and a psy-op.
After all Palestinians themselves did not say a word about it, nor did the great anti-Zionist movement Hezbollah. That’s just another proof of what a horrible propaganda campaign I have fallen into.
Even Palestinian bloggers predicted an attack on poor Iran by end of November.
OK, it was supposed to happen a few years ago, then it was a month ago, but do trust Santa Claus for he does deliver...And who am I to criticize?
And it does not stop there...
I have a special apology and a particular appreciation to address to Kurdish "brothers and sisters."
I have misjudged you. Am so sorry.
Your cause is so righteous. You have been terribly oppressed and downtrodden by Saddam's regime and forced into Arabization.
The fact that a lot of you can't even speak Arabic is really besides the point- Patrick Cockburn and his brother said so. They know better.
Not only 100'000 of you were massacred by chemical weapons that did not exist. Oh no, it was 7 million of you, even greater than your total population number, that were annihilated into mass graves in "Iklim Kurdistan." Mass graves we never found...But hey, that’s besides the point.
The point is that you were very oppressed and totally annihilated.
The fact that a few of you are still going strong, just points to the Cockburn/Amnesty International/Darwinian theory that only the brave survive.
The fact that you have engaged in a total ethnic cleansing of other "minorities", just proves what a valiant left-over people you are. Do tell your Cockburns OK? It will just confirm their theory.
Also the fact that you have been having a secret liaison since 1974,(at least) with the Zionist entity- is really nothing to write home about. Chomsky said so.
Chomsky also said that the poor Shiites have been terribly oppressed, not only in Iraq, oh no.
They have also been terribly oppressed in Ze Lebanon where am planning to have my boob job, in Bahrain and in East Saudi Arabia. Chomsky, you are such a wonderful Zionist visionary. Am sorry I have ever doubted you.
After all, you, the Left(hahahahhaha) and the Anti-War movement(hahahahahahaha - sorry it definitely is PMS) are not the voices of the Jewish lobby. Nor you, nor your “ Arab” frauds. You are nothing but pure intentions for the Palestinian, Iraqi, Anti-Imperialist cause...
Damn am so blind. Why did I not see it before ?
Am just delusional, a paranoid that sees conspiracy where there is none.
Again, am terribly sorry and I officially apologize for having slandered you.
As for the Anti-War movement, really how could I have been so short sighted, so myopic ?!
You are indeed la crème de la crème.
How many times you braved the cold weather in 5 years, twice or thrice ?!
How many petitions and letters did you send ?!
How many bouquets of flowers you gave away without counting ?!
How many Sami Ramadanis and Ghali Hassans you upheld ?!
How many P.Bennis and Max Fullers worked tirelessly "free of charge" ?!
How many Brussels Tribunals did bend over backwards for the "good cause."?!
I am truly speechless, with no words left. You are one of a kind. Unsurpassable. Simply excellent.
How could have I been so myopic? So short-sighted?
Today, am so grateful, so thankful. I finally saw the light. I finally realized what an OK bunch you all are and how you are all working for the common good.
Only today I realized, that not only I, but a ONE million++ Iraqis are as grateful as I am.
Not only 1 million ++ DEAD Iraqis are as thankful and as OK as I am, but also 4.5 million Iraqis refugees are OK too. We're OK with it. We think it's cool too.
I personally, just love being that nomadic vagabond. It’s giving me a meaningful perspective on life and it’s been a “growing“ experience.
I am definitely OK and so are they.
Today am born again. Am a changed person. Am an OK person. And so are You.
We are both very OK people.
So let us pray together now. Let us praise Him. Let us chant his name for having delivered and transformed us.
Oh Yeah! Hallelujah, Praise the Lord!
God Bless America. God bless Iran. God bless Israel.
God Bless you for turning me into such an OK Person. Into such an OK Woman.
I'm OK- You're OK. We're OK. It's all fine. It's all wonderfully free. Am just simply ecstatic.
I even got myself an Iranian Shiite whip for flogging and I even managed to get myself an American gun...But then I remembered am so OK, I don't need to flog or shoot you anymore. Am a changed woman. Am a product of the "surge." Am so OK.
Painting: Iraqi artist, Maurice Haddad.