August 8, 2016

A Deep Malaise...

Here is this Insomniac, with yet another cup of bitter coffee, overtaken by a deep malaise.

As I made sure, my mom was in her bed and not slouching on the sofa, I was reflecting on how difficult old age must be.

Then one thought took me to another...first the elderly, a very neglected group worldwide, more than children, also a group who suffers much taunting and different forms of abuse, from psychological to physical either by caretakers, in hospices, in hospitals, in pensioners homes, in "mouroirs" ....and obviously in war zones, victims of violence, brutality, loss, displacement and endless grief.

And another thought took me to another .. from how difficult it is to become old and fragile, vulnerable, to the difficulty of living in general.

I see it on people's faces, in what they fail, omit to say, in their sighs, in the brave fronts they put up, in their escapism, in their outbursts, in their withheld rage, in their pleas, in their race towards something so elusive they can't even define it.

And another thought took me to another...

Is  this just a foretaste of the new world order ? Where most can't make ends meet apart from those living in bubbles, where most struggle daily to keep some invisible lid on ...lid on what ? an implosion ? an explosion ?

Is this the new world  order of people losing their minds, breaking down or burning out ...or is it the pace, the intensity of the pace, the rush hour, the whirling madness of "getting things done" before, before what ? before an apocalypse ?

Is this the new world order where people drown themselves in ideologies, celebrities, tv screens, reality shows, cyber space, the delirium of religious dogma, drugs, booze, sex, porn...

Is this the new world order of broken identities, uprootedness, loss of meaning, a nihilism so pervasive , a make believe of normality...

Is this the new world order, where everything is fast; fast love, fast sex, fast food, fast consumption , fast cars, fast vacations, fast processors, fast enlightenment, fast guns....the gobbling up of what ?

Is this the new world order, a tall order of mediocrity and intellectual poverty ? Where everything has become difficult; from social relations, to family relations, to finances, to living conditions, to living environment, to living pace, to cities that can't breathe no more, to trees that can't breathe no more, to skies that can't breathe no more,...

The new world order of over stimulation; false needs, false desires, false successes, false priorities, false relations,  false selves....where all is processed beforehand, pre-packed and pre-conditioned .

No wonder I feel this deep malaise, no wonder I feel it in the atmosphere, in everything around me, in the streets, in the mosques, in the churches, in the malls, in the souks, in the offices, in the neighborhoods, in each and every single one....

As for those who live in bubbles, well you know what bubbles do don't you ?

Do I have a solution ?

Yes, in a way I do. Stick to the simple things in the Present...because all the rest is just a question of survival.

July 31, 2016

Homecoming - Split in Two.

Hello Blog, long time, been two years, did not miss you much, missed Iraq though, the Iraq of my memories, niched somewhere refusing to be forgotten.
I do not miss the current Iraq, it's gone to the dogs, split in two, three and maybe even four.

Talking about splits. Remember that thing I devoted a whole post in its "honor". if you click on the link, you will get to see its "beautiful face". Anyway I received this from it dated 8 July 2016 (here is its 2 minutes of online fame)

"I hope someone sticks in sword in your rotten vagina and splits you in two. 
Ive decided that its been a while since you have been degraded . I plan for you an online equivalent of Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo all rolled in one ....stay tuned."

What better way to write again, without this lovely invitation ?

Not that I wish to beef up that thing, beef up the inexistent part, that need beefing up and sexing up to use Tony Blair words before the United States and not so Great Britain decided to rape Iraq and split it in two or three or four.

Maybe I am after all,  Iraq's Vagina. The Iraq's Vagina in the collective unconscious of Cyber space. Maybe my Iraqi Vagina, is the lieu where all lust and death meet, where transcendence happens, where living animals get ejaculated, propelled, like missiles,  in search of an ovum, a territory to fecundate, into a new world order. Giving birth to the New Middle East, the Birth Pangs in blood with no Cesarean.

Cesarean,  you call them in America, C-section, possibly because you can't pronounce Cesarean. Maybe in your immense knowledge Cesarean means to you Caesar as in Caesar Salad. Forget Caesar the Emperor, am not counting on you for History.

Iraq and my Vagina are to be split in two, My Iraqi Vagina is to be split in two.  Why persevere ? It already happened. I delivered in C-Sections....cretinous cunt sections....each section has its own cretinous cunt...tiny emperors emerged from my Iraqi vagina, with the charisma of fleas...fleas gathering on dead corpses, carcasses so putrid, so rotten  that even vultures wish not to approach.  

What are you persevering for ? There must be something more, something else ....It must be that this Iraqi territorial vagina is so tasty, or that it holds more treasures, that you haven't managed to reach...and maybe will never reach.

All this lust and death impulses in vain, no transcendence for you...however hard you try.

Iraq will forever elude you, missiles, bombs and have not penetrated its soul, for its soul is a fortress, a vagina within a vagina...and its womb a caldron, that will burn whoever nears it without reverence. 

This is the Hell that is Iraq to use Saddam's final words...a hell you haven't fully tasted yet.

P.S : Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo are just appetizers, a foretaste for you... Enjoy.

November 15, 2014

Iraq @ The Sound of Silence.

Hello Blogger my old friend...

Hello darkness my old friend,I  came to talk with you again...because a vision softly creeping, left its seeds while I was sleeping and the vision that was planted in my brain, still remains, within the sound of silence.

I came to disturb the sound of silence.

I love disturbing people...I was always told that I was a nuisance. I lived up to the expectations of me.

Silence as a cancer grow...

I can assure you, you have tumors growing in you, the size of grapefruits...

Why you hate grapefruits ?

I was told am a nuisance...I just love annoying between the soda and popcorn breaks...

What ? am I to announce my own funeral -so you can rest in peace ?

Would you like to see the last living one of us signing her own death warrant ? Am sure you would, in between breaks of soda and popcorn...

I love the way my words pop don't you ? I love popping them like corn on a hot stove

Just to remind you of the sound of silence.

June 4, 2014

Iraq's Shattered Heritage.

I am breaking my silence with ruins....this is a wound that will never heal, not even in my afterlife.
I need not explain much, as I have already explained much in the past.
You  are the ones who will be doing much explanation on the Day of Reckoning.
You don't have to watch the testimonies of the living,  if you don't want to, if you can't spare your precious empty time, a time devoid of substance...
But you are being watched, observed....and all is transcribed, noted down,  recorded...all.  And even if your consciences are dead, there is the One that is Alive and never dies.

March 15, 2014


I am a terribly disorganized female...I find order in chaos...I am not structured, nor a willow...a weeping willow...

I bend, yield, like bamboo that seeks growth in mud water...that's my nature.

I also lose passwords in the mud...trying to survive the mud. You must have a password...or you can't get through...I have a password and I keep loosing it, or it keeps being changed.

I am told to write, when my muse left me in the mud...I am told -- write anyway...
tell them, while bent, about willow trees...weeping willows and weeping widows...
tell them about orphaned girls
tell them about the severity of life and the severity of survival...
tell them, for they are a people living in satin like...illusions.

Tell them...and dig stories out of your old ragged sack
tell them when it is not satin nor velvet
tell them...for passwords are meant for all.

February 14, 2014

From Anbar with Love...

Today is Valentine's and this is the sectarian Shiite government of Maliki demonstration of love for the Iraqi people.

This is a rushed translation. I have translated the gist. An Iraqi man with his family, has his home bombed destroyed. including all electrical outlets, (electricity is still a big deal in Iraq 11 years on and to get electricity you have to invest much in terms of money and ingenuity to get an electrical current).

Furthermore this man has disabled children - he points to the wheel chair. His house is now unlivable, he has to leave - exiled within his own country.

Here is the translation :

Maliki - you coward, may God debase you. Today is Friday, you destroyed our electricity, why,  what have we done to you, you burnt our electrical outlet, we are also muslims.

You coward, you unbeliever, you Farissi (Persian), you apostate.

I have disabled children , this is her wheelchair, you exiled us, may God exile you in Hell.

This is my daughter Zahra, is she a terrorist, is she is Daaesh (ISIL),  show your hands, lift your hands Zahra... before you the Americans bombed here and disabled her, she has 6 fingers on each hand, they killed two of my children and now you (maliki) do the same.

Zahra can’t even speak, she has 6 fingers on her feet and hands, why have you exiled us, this is our area, I have no one but Allah and this house, may God take his revenge and may He  exile you ya Maliki.

Exiled within our homes, this girl is disabled, Zahra, an innocent kid, they (the Americans) bombed us in 2004, while her mother was pregnant with her, and she came out disabled, deformed...

There is no power and change save through God , there is no god but God "

December 15, 2013

Dumping Grounds ?

The Feminine is considered a "recipient", you know, that womb, uterus that will carry, bear it and endure...labor pangs and all....sacrifice, self effacement, selflessness for the "greater good".

The Feminine, the land that is "toiled" like a field...the earth, the ground where you plant seeds that sprout...

The Feminine - The dumping ground ?

Seems it is so.

I liken Iraq to the Feminine, in its rather simplistic and vulgar definition as in above...This is where all the syphilitic vultures dump their violence.

Today, a female TV presenter was shot dead in Mosul, she was just reporting...

Yesterday, the day before yesterday and the months before yesterday and the years before yesterday, Iraqi women have been the "recipient" of Violence, male violence.

Whether this violence came in the form of a US missile, an AK47, a gun, a knife, a cane or an actual penis, it does not really matter, it is all Phallic violence.

One Iraqi woman aptly described it as "living in a jungle ruled by men",  (article here on the increase of violence against Iraqi women and the male government's refusal to do anything about it). Adding, if shelters were constructed, the government fears that a great number of women will leave their "families".

Phallic violence --- the verticality of it all, that turns you into a horizontal position...ultimately horizontally laid to a coffin, and if you manage to escape the fate of a coffin, you are still horizontally laid to rest, unable to vertically  stand on your own two feet, paralyzed by the experience.

Iraq as exemplified by its women, has become the Dumping Ground, ever since its "liberation".

Usually when one thinks of "liberation", one imagines someone in shackles, squatting in a cell, chained, unable to stand, unable to move, suddenly transformed into this free being, who gets up, breaks free and runs, runs, with her two legs...jumps up and down with joy, walks forward with enthusiasm and hope, with dreams about to be fulfilled...

Does Iraq fit the imaginary liberation picture above ? Does She fit the US promises embodied in that "grand" statue of Liberty, a woman holding a torch, erected tall, above the grounds ?

Tens years on, the shackles have become stronger, the chains thicker, the cells darker.

So I took time to reflect, divorcing the personal from the political --  as impassively as possible, as unbiasedly as possible, as impartially as possible, as dispassionately as possible, as objectively as possible, all those words that you hold dear to your heart, denoting "self control", "able to withstand rigorous scrutiny" like in some empirical laboratory experiment.

I took the time...and I turned it around in my head, over and over, from every single angle, from every single perspective...

And I could not find one single tenet, one single clause, one single item in any textbook, moral, ethical, philosophical, legal code, that could justify why the Feminine should be your dumping ground.

I concluded that this is an anomaly, a disease, that must be radically eradicated, due to its contagious nature.

A zero tolerance, that will no longer accept any rationalizations, any justifications.

Whether that violence is physical, sexual, moral, psychological, religious, political, or social does not matter either.

After all, Iraq, She is the land of Civilization, where things started to grow, where seeds sprouted, where monuments were erected, where everything stood tall under the Sun.

Just because you tried to turn Her into a flat dumping ground, does not mean She is. This is only an Illusion in your mind.

You better go and re-read history. She has given birth a thousand times and She has risen from Her ashes a thousand times, and nothing and no one will ever stop Her.