October 31, 2008

A Hopeless Case.

This is probably the most "politically incorrect" post ever...I care not. I have stopped caring ages ago -- about your sensitivities. I have become a callous bitch insofar as you are concerned.

I have very limited access to the net and this is not my computer either. For those who want to bear with me, please do so...As for others, fuck you and fuck off.

Geez that sounds so simple right? Yes right.

I am in some neighboring "Arab" country.

We were gathered in some "happening" place. The atmosphere looked cordial. Here comes the blue eyed thing. He is from Israel. He introduced himself and kissed my hand. What the fuck for? I don't need anyone from there kissing my hand. I let him do it, let him savor even for a few moments -- a true Semite.

He is from the West, originally. I say originally because most of these people have invented their origins... He lives in Israel -- horror of horrors.

He went into that familiar litany of peace and tolerance. I recalled to him that Abraham was from Kufa, the land of Ur and that he, on the other hand, was from some Western God forsaken place. He had no business being here, there.

He tried explaining to me in the all too familiar neurosis that has characterized his " people" that he had God given rights to this land.

I, keeping my gracious demeanor and yes I am very capable of it when necessary providing it fulfills my objectives, reminded him that his roots were somewhere else...

I also reminded him that Jews took refuge amongst the "Aghabs" in Al-Andalus.

He brushed it off, typical of his "race". Typical of his "affiliation and his tribe."

We spoke for a couple of hours. The conversation was tense, very tense. And I had to keep reminding him of historicity. Insofar as true Semites were concerned, he simply could not measure up...

I even dropped the name of Gilad Atzmon, he nodded his head with disapproval --stating that he was aware of the "character."

We spoke, trying to keep it as courteous as humanly possible. I am not sure we succeeded. He still kissed my hand in reverence before excusing himself, but it really was a very dry kiss - a motion. I am not even sure why he bothered going through it, seeing that he hated me so much. But maybe that is typical of his folks. A deep seated hypocritical lie that they justify like any other psychopath around.

My Palestinian friends -- and I don't have many left, since they were forcibly kicked out or killed in the new "liberated" Iraq by none other than the Americans and the Iranians. I tell you, "your enemy" is a cunning, deceitful, son of a bitch. Peace is an almost impossibility with these folks.

But then, let me remind you of your closer enemy- the one who is very close, whom you applauded and danced for...He is no less cunning. And at least with the former, he knows how to kiss hands when necessary...

A video of stolen Land/lands by the Jews can be watched here with the Hava Nagila -- to give them a good "patriotic" conscience. So they can rejoice in the land of milk and honey with "no people", with the blessings of Elohim. Ha!

October 26, 2008

Keep Roaring...

I am taking a break from blogging, comments, messages and e.mails...I am taking a break from my computer, from the web, the internet, the virtual...

See you later, some day...

Be well.

October 23, 2008

Insane Limits...

Limits ? What limits... I know no limits.

I stretch my left arm and I touch Ishtar,

I stretch my right arm and Hammurabi welcomes me.

What limits are you talking about ?

I draw breath and strength from my roots...

Every time the world shrinks around me, I look back...And my arm longs back 7'000 years...back, ago...

Every time life becomes too tight, I look back and I have Abundance before me. I have gold, rubies and diamonds...

Every time I feel dry like a barren land, I draw back and Genius springs before me.

I stick my head in the Land and I draw Oxygen...I draw Force and I draw Power...I draw Energy.

So what limits are you talking about ?

An old Willow that will not bend ? Welcome the weeping Willow.

I welcome the weeping Willow, the black Widow, that lays in me...I embrace her and kiss her. I touch her and hold her up with pride.

Others have done the same...

Our stories are so similar. Our predator is also the same -- no cause for surprise.

You have set no limits, and I have none. Your limits are mine.

How far shall you go, and how far shall I follow ?

How far can you go and far will I allow you ?

Like my forefathers, I stretch the limits... I bring them close like some stifling frontier, or push them far away...I am Queen, King in my homeland. You are not.

You are an unwanted "guest" in my territory.

I have become very territorial by the way, I sniff my territory like some primate...like some animal. An animal true to itself.

I don't really care how long it takes. Time is not measurable in months or years...contrary to what you believe. Time is really immaterial. We have invented Time and we can stop it too...or stretch it to the limits.

We don't go by your calendar either. Days, nights, weeks, months...they flow...
You hold onto them, you try to control Time, Days and Nights, we don't...They serve us. We don't serve them.

My weapons are Patience and Knowledge. Yours is a cheap bullet. There lies all the difference.

I have the Gods, the Spirits and the Ancestors on my side, you have no one...

I have the Book and History on my side, you are just the Wild West...

I am certain of my/our imminent Victory, you are scared...You are forever scared.

Tracked like a wild beast.. You don't trust the "natives" but you were never someone to be trusted...you will always remain scared and this is where my strength lies -- in your Fear.

I have no Fear. I know that Justice and Truth are on my side. I fear not.

I think to myself, how long will it take ? Two, ten, or twenty years ? Does not matter.

The scorched earth is my cover. That earth that you spat, pissed on and desecrated...that poor Earth that swallowed its dead, out of mercy.

The dead...How can I ever forget the dead ?

Merciful, scorched Earth...that took them to her bosom, like some generous Mother...A brown, burnt blanket, but a Mother nonetheless.

Like the millions of mothers you have left with no shelter, begging for a scorched earth to swallow them...And the millions of orphans longing for a lost, swallowed mother...

How can all of this go unaccounted for ? Impossible, simply impossible.

I am Insomnia. I am the wakeful Eye...I will bug you for as long as I am alive.

I will poke you out of your slumber, I will nag you, I will fight you and combat you and I will track you...until...

Until the limits of Insanity...


Painting : Iraqi female artist, Nadia Mohammed Yass.

October 22, 2008

How Sensitive...

I am very touched...truly touched. I have goose bumps all over, am so touched...

Finally, the puppy "Rachet", was saved from the flames of burning Baghdad by one of your brave boys - Sergeant Gwen Beberg.

Gwen is a hero. He saved puppy dog "Rachet" in extremis, from a dump of a garbage that was set on fire...Saved him from the bubonic plague and the cholera , from the imposed junk of our lives...

On Sunday, brave Gwen took his last flight out, to Minnesota and thanks to over 10'000 signatures, through an online petition, brave Gwen was able to adopt "Rachet" and give him the American green card. "Rachet" will now become a "civilized" American citizen.

And needless to say, the mounting pressure on the American Department of Defense, thanks to your generous hearts, signatures and petition, was not able to refuse "Rachet" as a new fellow citizen of the United States of America.

This has been a great learning experience in your morality. How humane and how empathetic...Such sensitivity, such grace and such a heart.

So refined in its senses, so delicate, so altruistic...I am overwhelmed, I am flabbergasted, I am simply in awe.

Doves of Freedom. Dove of Peace. Doves of Love. Gracious doves...How touched I am.

I had just completed on my other Uncensored blog, a very short post on "Sensitivity", accompanied by a piece of fine Jazz. I am very tempted to dedicate it to you as well, for all your efforts.

Damn, what an effect you have on me. The goose bumps, the quivers, the tremblings, the shivers...How bashfully sensitive...

P.S: It's a pity, Brigitte Bardot did not have a say in it this time round...That would have completed the Western "sharing and caring experience."

How Insensitive (Insensatez) - Stan Getz - Astrud Gilberto -

Painting: Iraqi female artist, Buthaina Abdelrahman.

October 19, 2008

A long American-Iranian Film.

It is about time that our Shiites "brothers and sisters" start joining the cast of a Horror movie, show...

Having been faithful followers and disciples of their criminal, racist Iranian leaders and black turbaned gigolos, I am sure they would make an excellent cast.

An American/Iranian production. Insert a few Zionists for the screen play and the plot, a few "patriotic" shiites from Ze Lebanon, for light and sound, and you might be up for the next Cannes film festival award. Best horror film in decades. You might even get some of the "supporters" to roll the Red carpet for you, all too eager to please.

For how long can anyone believe in their own lies ? Putting mythomania aside, a mental illness, how can anyone survive on lies alone ? Surely there comes a point where Reality has to seep in, breakthrough, no ? Seems not for the foreseeable future. Not insofar as Iraq is concerned. Iraq ? Sorry that was a slip of the tongue. I meant Iran. Oops, sorry no, meant Iraq. Or is it Iran ? Did I not say IRAQ ? Oh well, you choose your camp, NOW.

A prova - prova in Arabic means a rehearsal. The latest prova was from Sayyed Muqtada Al-Driller. The Driller is still in Qum perfecting his theological studies in the art of drilling more Nawaseeb - i.e Sunnis, in particular.

The Hakeem Gang from Tehran, have already perfected the art of murder and rape, and now that they have pillaged the country's wealth alongside the scum Kurds, they are not interested in sharing their power base with the Driller.

Ditto for Maliki, the graduate from Iran, the Dawa terrorist... and God bless whomsoever took the time to translate this article from Arabic to English on al Rabita. For the English version on the "origins" of Maliki, click here and this is a must read. Seriously, you must read this article otherwise, you have no right to pronounce yourself on Iraqi matters, or any other matter that concerns Iran and the US.

So now, the Chief Driller has organized from QUM, a demonstration against the U.S presence in Iraq. Hahahahahahahaha.

Need I remind you all, that this Barbarian alongside his sectarian shiite mates were the ones who landed , helped, collaborated, cooperated with the Occupier - the American-English filth of an Occupier, in its invasion of my Beloved. Not only they facilitated, encouraged, backed and became puppets of the Occupier, they also carried some of the Occupiers dirty work -- IRREVERSIBLE structural demographic changes to Iraq's geography. Call it ETHNIC CLEANSING. Call it GENOCIDE.

The majority of the shiites of Iraq support Iran, if not directly, then through their unconditional support for their Hawza,their so-called theological center of Learning...If one flea ridden cleric, a mullah, a "sayyed", issues a fatwa, or tells them that or the other, they follow blindly...They have become and very much so -- mental, ideological, brainwashed slaves. That is a FACT.

The Hawza in Iraq is fully infiltrated on a theological-ideological level by Iran. And historically Iran has appropriated Shi'ism turning it into something that is non Arab. As if the Imam Ali, Hassan, Hussein, Fatima and Zeinab came from Shiraz and not from the Arabian peninsula. And that makes one wonder if Shi'ism can still be considered a branch Islam at all. Well at least the current type of Shi'ism. Is there any other ? Please come forward.

The current puppet government is fully infiltrated by Iran. Maliki has no less than 60 Iranian advisers working for him. The Hakeem gangsters are a direct branch of the Iranian government. And the Chief driller Al Sadr is another Iranian conducting his anti -US demonstrations from Iran.

I have spoken about full Iranian involvement in the Occupation of Iraq. Ideological, political, military, direct and indirect. Iran is a criminal nation. As criminal as the US and G.B.

If I am to list to you ALL the facets of Iranian involvement since the 90's till this very day, it will take pages and pages of blogging. Those who have followed my blog know what am talking about.

From the poison laced candies found in the markets of Baghdad made in Iran, to the expired drugs, the latest ones being the anti-cholera chlorine, from the poisonous chemicals that Iran dumped and keeps dumping in Iraq alongside the American toxins...From its support to the Zionist backed Kurds, to its arming and funding of death squads, to its direct involvement in the torture, rape and ethnic cleansing of Iraqi Arabs, to its playing a crucial role for the Americans in handing over so called Al-Qaeda insurgents (the latest in line, Iran blames Al-Qaeda in the ethnic cleansing of Christians in Mosul. When the Christians themselves shouted over and over that it is the zionist Kurds who are driving them out) to the millions of oil barrels that are smuggled to Iran free of charge, to opium fields that are covering the whole of southern Iraq with seeds from Iran, to the Muta'a prostitution rings, used for the Hawza clerics, to the fake construction deals all done with Iranian companies....And the list is too long.

So when this son of a whore called Muqtada stages a demonstration against the US presence in Iraq, of course you understand what he really is aiming for, don't you ?
No ? Then you are very thick or of very bad faith.
He is asking for an American withdrawal, so Iraq can be FULLY occupied by Iran ALONE. In other words, no power sharing, no more. Maliki is working along the same lines but is playing it slightly more diplomatically.

My hunch is and my hunches are rarely wrong, if Obama the booma wins, and he will, by a small margin, Iraq will be handed over to Iran. Thus, it makes sense that the US have been asking the dirt Israelis not to bomb Iran. Let me tell you something and hear it well from me, because I am tired of repeating myself.

Neither the US nor the scum Israel will EVER bomb Iran. They know it and Iran knows it too. They have a common enemy, a long term common enemy - The ARABS and the Sunnis in particular.

Remember the beginning of the film ? Al-Qaeda is all Sunni, "Wahabi". The Talibans are all Sunni, "Wahabis. The "Insurgents" -Resistance, in Iraq is all Sunni "Wahabi."
Guantanamo is filled with Sunnis "Wahabis" " Salafists" "Jihadists"...

The beginning of the film - don't ever forget the beginning of the film - The " War on Terror" is a war against these Sunni "Wahabists", "Salafists", "Jihadists" for the most part Arabs.

Notice the association, notice the sharing of roles, notice the development of the plot, notice the cast...Watch the horror that keeps unfolding before your very eyes...

Look at the full screen, the bigger picture. Look, look...Watch this long American-Iranian film produced in Zion.

I will tell you the rest of the plot some other time...Suffice to say for the time being that I dreamt I had a close encounter with Ahmadinejad in Basra. We met in a parking lot, whose grounds were covered in sleek oil. A parking lot filled with huge transport trucks. A parking lot next to the docks, by the port of Shatt Al-Arab, where cargo ships transport oil. It was Ahmadinejad's territory...He moved about with no body guards and no protection. He even offered me a dirty get away weekend to Paris - it's a miracle I did not turn frigid after this dream.
My interpretation: He will strike a deal with the Zionist Sarkozy and Obama will share Basra with him. And that is already being done...behind the cameras.

What a horrid nightmare that was. What a horrid nightmare that is.

A long American-Iranian horror film...

Painting : Iraqi artist, Salah Al-Gharbee.

October 18, 2008

On Sweetness...

Possibly the most apolitical post...
Well, I am not so sure, myself.
In any event, enjoy the sound of Sweetness and let it polish, refine, smooth out your senses... And, only if you wish.

October 15, 2008


Christ is crucified daily in Iraq, daily.

Nails and thorns from all sides, in the Iraqi Body, the Innocent Iraqi Body.

Hammered deeply into every part...Romans and Pharisees...Judas, and the like...
They are called sectarian Shiites(and most of them have proved to be hypocrites) Kurds, Americans and Brits, Iranians and Zionist Jews.

Every day they claim more victims, more crucifixions...

No Iraqi has been spared. Sunnis, Yezidis, Turkmen, Sabeans, Shabak, and Christians...

The Christians of Iraq are one of the oldest, most ancient Christian communities in the whole of the Middle East.

And go and tell your Shiites, that Nejaf used to be the oldest Church in the world and that the 12 Imams are none but the 12 Apostles. And if a Mahdi is to return, it is none other but the Messiah. Bunch of ignorant fools.

Chaldeans and Assyrians constitute the bulk of the Christians of Iraq. They are Iraqis through and through, from time immemorial...They are one of the main arteries, veins, of this bleeding Iraqi heart. An essential aorta. A primordial piece of what used to be the most beautiful mosaic of ethnicities and sects, cohabiting peacefully for centuries...

This last week has witnessed the most brutal violent persecution against our brothers and sisters in Faith.

Over 3'000 Iraqi Christian families have been forcibly evicted from their homes in Mosul. Mosul was known to have an equal number of Christians and Muslims, who have peacefully coexisted and intermarried for years and years.

Contrary to other Arab countries where Christian minorities exist, like in Syria, Lebanon, Egypt, Jordan or Palestine, intermarriage between Christians and Muslims was common in Iraq. I am a living proof.

Good God, I can't believe what you sub humans have done to Iraq and its different sects...

What is this irony of history, where under a fundamentalist christian occupation, a "born again" occupation, the true Christians are persecuted. What is this ? Will someone explain it to me for God's sake !

Cockburn and Co, and we all know what they stand for today, were quick to blame Al-Qaeda, and fundamentalist Islam. But Cockburn and Co being the hypocrites that they are, another subgroup of Pharisees, failed to tell you the truth, as usual.

The ones who have been driving out the Iraqi Christians from Mosul are none other than your "wonderful" Kurds.

That bunch of fascist, chauvinistic, racist, zionistic pieces of shits that you cried over... stating that they are sooooo oppressed and persecuted. And you invented stories that you ended up believing and now the Christians of Iraq are driven out in thousands by none other than the Kurds.

What have you got to say to that one ?

Today, a communiqué from the Assyrian community confirms that the ones who are persecuting the Iraqi Christians of Mosul are none than your fucking Kurds. The same was reported by the blogger Roads to Iraq. Now go and tell your Cockburn and Chomsky...

Since 2003, the Christians of Iraq have had their churches destroyed, their shops burned down, their families threatened, murdered and exiled...

So what have you got to say, you bunch of bastards ?

What have you got to say to the irrefutable fact that the Christians of Iraq prior to your so called dirty "liberation" where the most protected group in Iraq.

Now you come and talk about Muslim fundamentalism persecuting the Christians of Iraq ? You bad faithed bastards.

You are the ones who are persecuting the Christians of Iraq. You and your scum called Iran and Israel via their proxies of dirty Shiites and dirty Kurds.

You are the ones, you Americans and filthy Brits, you are the ones who are persecuting Christ and you are the ones who crucify him daily.

Turn the other cheek ? Ha! All I want to do is smash your criminal, ugly faces, your hypocritical faces, your lying faces, your deceitful faces...

Turn the other cheek ? You fucking bastards, I have no cheek to turn. I want you mother fuckers to be nailed, with no hope of "salvation" or "resurrection" ever !

Painting : Iraqi female artist, Yussra Al-Obaidi.

October 12, 2008

All about Her...

The title of this post caused me some ambivalence at first.

The mere mention of Iraqi women in my mind brings out such contradictory feelings and paradoxical images, leading me into a momentarily confusion.

Again this is where the personal, subjective and the political, objective experiences overlap.

Had I written a similar post with the same title, let's say 20 years, or 10 years ago, I am certain that the images associated, would not have been a combination of such opposites as they are today, in my mind and in my reality as an Iraqi woman.

I will try to clarify myself to the reader...

When I think of Iraqi women, just as when I think of Iraq as a whole...I always have the images that pop up in my mind - The Before and the After. Before 2003 and after 2003. It is really as simple as that.

Before 2003.

No it was not perfect. But it was getting there...

Putting aside, the Iran-Iraq war and its widows. Putting aside the 1st Gulf war and its share of more widows and D.U deformed babies. Putting aside post 1991 and the embargo years of struggling and endurance, years that would make Superman look like a fucking midget, put them aside....

Of course they had its toll on Iraqis and Iraqi women in particular. We are not bionic women, but then, when I think again - we are bionic women.

How many of your pampered, spoilt, nagging, empty females would have put up with ?

How many of your women would have put up with so many deaths, so much grief and bereavement, so much loss, so much destitution and for so many years ? My bet is not much. Paper tigers all of you.

I want to tell you about the Iraqi woman. I can tell you all about the Iraqi woman from Inanna until today. I can tell you all about Her.

I will make exceptions though.

I will NOT include the earlier generation, the earlier generation of MTV and Facebook. I will neither include the earlier generation who lived in the UK, America or Iran or anywhere else...These for me DON'T count. I consider them empty recipients and you can just about fill them up with anything you like. They don't represent Iraqi women and they certainly don't represent me.

Nor will I include the trash that landed from Iran, nor the trash that emerged in the 90's with Iranian backing and funding. The masochistic, self flagellating, misogynistic, backward females, brainwashed by Qum. They are not part of us either.

I deliberately chose not to include the two above categories. Because the two above categories are a product of the Occupation.

Not only are they a product of the Occupation, but they have been instrumental in it too.

For me, they are not considered Iraqis at all. Even though, they desperately try to get onto the Iraqi bandwagon, to gain some sympathy or a reputation. For me they are the mental rejects of England, America and Iran...

Why mental rejects ? Because they have lost all dignity...As simple as that.

Dignity - that word again. Oh, what a bothersome word. Yet, very à propos.

If there is one thing that characterizes a true Iraqi woman, it is dignity. Dignity regardless of her class, status, educational level, or religion and in some cases (albeit rare ones) her sect.

Inanna had dignity. The dignity of a Goddess. It is still there in the collective unconscious, even though it is hiding behind grief, resignation and black Abayas.

And this is where the personal becomes a bank of treasures...A storage room of collective memories from which I constantly draw strength and more dignity.

Each one of us has had some influential figure in their lives, a mentor, an example, a teacher and a lesson....

Mine were the women in my family.

The first one was my great grandmother - Layla. A woman of great beauty and strength.
She had lost many of her off springs, and she kept repeating "the worst thing in life is not losing a child, it is losing your sanity." She had understood early on, that sanity was limited, but insanity was limitless...

Another one was my grandmother. A so-called illiterate woman, forced into marriage at a young age. But by God she was no crumbling cookie. Her self defense was the plastic pair of slippers that she would voluntarily throw in the face of any abusive bastard...And her art, was her story telling.

Then came my mother. An intelligent sweet soul, loyal and enduring. But by God, when she reached her limits, no one could stand in her face...and remain intact.

Then, there were my aunts. Some of them were smooth talkers, some were not. But all had a core they could fall back onto. A true strength, not aggressive but not yielding...hard to explain.

Then there are my female cousins. Sharp, bright and very aware. A product of a willing emancipation. Veiled or not, did not matter. They knew what they wanted and were clear about what they stood for as women.

And if I dig deep into my memory, I can add a few more...

There were also my mother's friends. Sophisticated, creative, beautiful women. Some were artists, some were writers, some were poets, and some were just themselves...

Sure of their femininity but without much boasting. A calm self assurance that did not need mini-skirts or tons of make-up. Contrary let's say to other Middle Eastern females...

I had the impression then, that they were steady and at the same time mysterious... I felt it to be a very interesting combination. A very potent one.

I also remember when my parents took me to other Arab countries, like Lebanon, Syria and Egypt...I felt the women there were too revealing, not just physically, but also emotionally, making themselves preys, easy preys...

My first impressions were not all that wrong. There is something desperate about an Egyptian, Lebanese or even Palestinian, Syrian or Jordanian woman, that would you not find in an Iraqi woman. Unless she has become the prototype, product of the Occupation.

I am well aware that this may not go down all too well in "women's solidarity" contexts or contests, but I care not. I say the Truth the way I see it.

For instance, I take proverbs or popular sayings as metaphors or indicators of the state of things.

In Egypt for instance you have a popular proverb (mainly by women) that says "Dhil ragel ahssan min dhil hayta". Literally translated - "the shadow of a man is better than that of a wall".

In Iraq, we have or had a very popular saying amongst women and it went that way
"Al chalb aboo baytain, ma yenrad" - Literally translated, "a dog (man) that belongs to two homes, is not wanted/needed".

The first one refers to the desperateness for any man, the second refers to options, choices...and Freedom.

And this is where the difference lies.

And I have used popular proverbs, in a deliberate fashion, to make my point. I suppose you got it by now. Right ?

What am I trying to tell you here ?

I am trying to convey to you, the essence of Her, of Inanna, of the woman in a black Abaya...I want to demystify your preconceptions. I want to tear away at your myths. I want to do away with your stereotypes...I want to tell you all about Her.

I want to tell you about the Iraqi woman before you occupied and forcibly penetrated her in the name of Freedom.

I want to tell you all about her. The memories I have kept of her. Her reality...

I want to tell you all about Her.

She was a poetess well before your Keats or Chaucer. She was a warrior well before your Joan of Arc. She was all of a lover well before your Lady Chatterley's. She was also a Queen well before your prudish Victoria.

Sorry can't include America here, you had nothing then.

And above all, she was a Goddess. A Goddess of Might and Power, of Sacrifice and Endurance, of Love and Forgiveness, of Sensuality and Wrath...When you were not even conceived nor born.

Yes, that's Her.

And she carried it on. Quietly, ever so quietly...

P.S. There was one Man who knew it and understood, having been an avid reader of History himself. For more on Her, from the great - Saddam Hussein - read here.

Painting :Iraqi female artist, Betool Fekaiki.

October 9, 2008

An Air of Freedom...

Something very strange happened last night, late into the night...

I am an owl, I can't sleep before 3-4 am. And as I was preparing myself to go to bed, I drew the shutters down, as a final goodbye...It was cold last night, and as I was about to shut the window as well, I heard a familiar air...

Some neighbor, and he did pique my curiosity, was playing Vivaldi's Four Seasons, in the loudest possible manner at 3.30 am. I, who has very sensitive ears to noise, found myself surprisingly pleased.

Despite the cold breeze, I kept the window open, open enough to hear Vivaldi's Summer movement, followed by Fall. I feared that I might not hear it well whilst I was lying in my bed, so I pulled the shutters up, just a little, enough to let the violins penetrate the darkness of my bedroom...

Before doing all of the above, curiosity took the best of me, and I stood by the window trying to catch where the sound was coming from...

I spotted a small room in not such a far distance, with full bright lights, just like in the Summer. And this is where one of my favorite classical pieces was emanating from.

I am not sure why I assumed it was a man who inhabited this room. I saw no nothing from afar except this bright light. But I had a feeling it was a man. The man after darkness. The man after darkness had settled in like some old familiar blanket, enveloping all of us...

As the Fall movement approached, the "man" switched off the lights, obscuring my vision...but I could still hear the violins playing the Autumn season.

Is it a good omen - I thought to myself ?

After Bach's Double Violin Concerto, Vivaldi is my second favorite.

I was trying to read the signs given to me like some witch staring into empty sea shells...

Questions I asked myself, asked that tired head of mine. Why did the lights go off during the Autumn movement and not during the Summer one ? We are in full Autumn after all. Could it be that the Summer light is making itself so small so it can cocoon itself for a better brighter Spring ? The Lucia of a new era ?

Of course my cynical part led me to also think that the Autumn movement and the switching off of the lights from the only room that was illuminating this night, was due to some heavy hanky panky going on in the obscurity...and that Summer was nothing but the preliminaries (before the "fruit" rippens and falls)...the foreplay, if you wish. Mind you not every one is that "lucky" on this particular front.

After much self debating, I gave up...and just surrendered to the movements coming my way, as an offering, as a present from a terribly cold and silent night.

I occasionally resort to ear plugs specially designed in Germany. A good friend ships them my way, knowing how sensitive my ears are. Yesterday night, I did not need them. Plugging them into my ears was akin to blaspheming God.

I lied down on the crispy, white sheets and felt the cool breeze penetrate my room, accompanied by a hundred violins, carrying an air...An air of Freedom.

P.S: I was not quite sure if I had to publish this on the Uncensored blog or this one. But I finally figured out, that more often than not, the lines are very blurr between the political and the personal...

Painting : Iraqi artist, R. Al-Khafaji.

October 8, 2008


So the Dow Jones is tumbling down...markets are crashing, investors are panicking, losses everywhere...It does not look good at all. The snowball effect. The bloody avalanche of greed, a lust for money and power. Nothing is enough, nothing is ever enough. How much more ? they thought to themselves. Bring in more, get more, have more, produce more, buy more, consume more, fuck more, eat more, drink more, more and more and more...And voilà, now you have it. More.

Same thing in Iraq, the parallels are glaring, staring you in the face. Have it all, take it all. Kill more, torture more, rape more, bomb more, imprison more, steal more, plunder more, evict more, exile more, destroy more...more, more and more...

Inflict more pain, inflict more grief, inflict more death, inflict more... Do it more often and more...

An so you did. You did more and you got more and now you will get even more. Hell, after all you did invent it. The more concept. More, more and more.

Painting: Iraqi female artist, Yaqeen Al-Dulaimi.

October 6, 2008

On Dignity...

Are you aware that not many people use the above word these days ?


How many people do you come across that would mention "dignity" in your face ?

My bet is not too many.

Most people I come across use the following words too frequently -- Fun, pleasure, sex, money, self, (as in myself, me and I- the boring ego), and they may go even further and use the words - justice, equality, love, peace...

But how many did you come across in the last years, months, weeks and days that have used the word "dignity "?

My bet is that the last time you heard the word was probably eons ago.

I want to bring back dignity into fashion.

I realize that the word is not so cool and fashionable these days. But I insist on bringing it back to the forefront and make it an explicit, imperative, crucial word in your day to day vocabulary.

Dignity is not to be confused with self importance, nor with ego. Dignity is above these two. If you search and look for your own dignity as a human being, you will find fairness, justice and love. They go together. You need to ponder on that one deeply...

Dignity is in my opinion a form of Nobility. Nobility not in a class sense, but in a being sense...

Iraqis have many faults and many shortcomings, but one thing you will find in any "average" Iraqi is dignity. Of course there are exceptions, like in any society. But overall that dignified trait you will find it, even though it may be covered with grief, want, lack, circumstances and the like...

Dignity is one of our strong points. Forget about the riff raff you read on blogs and elsewhere. Forget about the ignorant idiots who think themselves smart because they can articulate a word or two...These don't represent us. They only represent themselves and the Occupier and the filthy taqiya Iran. They don't represent true Iraqis, at least not the Iraqis I know and grew up with...

We have been brought up to stand upright. To stand for truth and principles even though that bothered us on a personal level. Because that meant that we had to sacrifice self, always, for the greater good. We have become a rare breed, almost extinct...Hence my constant disappointment and anger with today's Iraqis. They are no longer of us.

I say "us" with a whole lot of assurance, because I know it to be so...I have experienced, lived it, and even rebelled against it.

Trust me when I say I know.

The epitome of Dignity for me is Saddam Hussein. The day he stood at the gallows bare faced, composed, full of assurance, full of life... I will never ever forget that day for as long as I live. Simply because that day for me, on a personal and am sure on a collective level, will remain as a mark, a stamp, a seal of the ultimate.

Very difficult to put in words...

For me Saddam Hussein's death is the epitome of everything I really need to learn in this life time. Something so crystal clear, so pure yet so vulnerable...Something that defies human understanding, human psychology and human fears...

There was/is something so dignified about this man. Something that beats all human understanding...A certain form of manhood that is so rare, ever so rare.. A form of love that is so difficult to ever experience. A dignity so impossible to find...and so impossible to measure up to.

October 4, 2008

October 2, 2008

A Sinking Prayer...

Wallahee, am in a perky kind of mood...

Fist M.A is so good to me. Second it's the Eid. Third, you are sinking...

In one of my uncensored anger manifestos, can't remember which one exactly, I prayed that your 3 trillion dollars for the "war effort" bring you down. I also said the following and I remember it so clearly - I said "God will hit you in your weakest point." And your weakest point is $$$$$$$$.

Yanee, truly, the news from Wall Street are like ice water, poured over my heart.
Down Jones up, Dow Jones down, who gives a fuck ? Am rejoicing.

Mortgage rates, Lehman Brothers, Merrill Lynch, going down the drains - My happiness.

I pray to see all of you destitute, living off hand outs. I pray that this is nothing but the beginning for you. Because trust me, more will come your way...

Yalla, am looking forward when you will become bag ladies, skid row bums, scratching the lice out of your heads... May the greatest of depressions befall you. May you go hungry, naked and homeless. May your daughters and wives prostitute themselves for a morsel of bread. May your men go insane or commit suicide. May you find yourselves beggars, exiled and alone...Ya Allah, I pray for that day with all earnestness...

May the blood of the innocent ones not go unaccounted for. May the flesh of the innocent Iraqis haunt you in your bank accounts and where you hurt most, until Resurrection day. May you taste in whatever form, by whichever means, what you have inflicted on an innocent Nation.

May none of you be spared, just like you spared none of us. May God's wrath fall upon you and your families and your children, one by one, decimating you by whatever hurts you most.

May you not find a day of peace, nor a day of mercy.

And you, filthy (not so) Great Britain, may you follow suit. You and your country, and your people and your nation, and your families and your children, and whatever you hold close and dear to your heart.

May ALL of you taste the fruits of your actions, may all of you be dragged further down into the abyss...into the darkest abyss...

I am so ecstatic. Tonight is my night. Tonight I rejoice. I am Noah in my Ark and you are the ones left behind, in a flood, engulfed and forever sinking...

Painting : Iraqi artist, Nadia Mohammed Yass.

To a tiny thing...

I, the Iraqi, Arab woman, I offer you this.

Not because I particularly care about you, but because I want it to be recorded...
I want it to be jotted down for all to see. I want it to be heard, read, and passed on...

This is a mail I received from P.A. I am decent enough to withhold his name, when I could have published it all over the Internet. This is what he had to say.

"I was sitting in my home here in America trolling the Internet when I came across your blog on how much you hate america and americans. I found it mildly amusing to read while I look around my neighborhood and watch the children play with no fear of suicide bombers, the sounds of birds and laughter filling the air. No soldiers running the streets, no Jihadis opressing my daughter. Free to move or go anywhere I wish with no fear of being killed by my neighbor or religious fanatic. It made me think of the great life America affords me and the life most in the middle east will never have. The hatred you show is what makes your part of the world so dispicable. So I say enjoy your hate filled life and continue to watch your men die young, your women be opressed, and your children raised into intolerance. This will be sure to build trust in the rest of the world, and by the way...we know how you and your kind feel about americans, we just don't give a rats ass!
Assalam Alaikum

P.A, please learn how to spell first. I know you Americans are very dumb for starters, but that is no reason to continue with your orthographic errors.

Besides P.A, for me you are a nothing. An absolute blank. Your name means nothing, neither your origins. The fact that you are a father does not move me, neither do your surroundings. You are inconsequential, like all of America.

You see, I don't even hate you. Hate would involve some energy, some investment, some effort, you are not even worth that. You are a nothing for me. If I have contempt for you, then you should consider yourself lucky. That would have meant, I have given you my attention.

There is one basic thing you don't comprehend. When your ilk pass by, we don't even care...anymore.

Do you know what this means ? It means that you do not exist in our minds.

Sure you are there, in armour and weapons, but you simply don't exist for us.

We erased you. As simple as that.

You are a non entity, a non being, a thing...You are a thing. And we treat and see you as a thing. Because a thing is what you are.

Being the kind of thing you are, this will not bother you much, hence you will understand.

P.A, you are nothing. Another American asshole, and there are so many of you around.
You did not and do not contribute anything to history, nor will you ever. You are less than paper tiger. We made history happen.

You need to understand something here, I doubt that you can. Real history is made of men, not robots. And for me you are nothing but a robot, a boring one for that matter. Like any machine, I can switch you on and off, and I switched you on...

Now am switching you off, for you don't exist in my mind. You are nothing, you were nothing and you will remain nothing.

Picture : "Tower of Babel", Al Malwiya, Samarra, Iraq.