March 28, 2007

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...

Let me ask you something.
Are you as bothered as I am by not knowing the whole Truth?

If anything, the Iraqi "experience" has managed to raise so many questions not only about politics per se but also about perceptions, resilience, sense of belonging, emotions, short about humans.

I do not wish to engage you in some phenomenological exercise. I am simply at a point where I need to corner that reflection in the mirror, I need to corner that Truth.

Moving from the political to the personal, from the outside to the inside...
Something about losing one's country is very hard to express in words.
I find myself constantly rummaging through concepts, phrases, trying to find accurate nouns, precise verbs and it keeps slipping through my fingers, evading me, eluding me...

The only sentence I found that is probably as close to what I need to express, came from a mail I received from a fellow Iraqi and this is what he had to say:
"Since March 19, 2003 I am a shadow of my former self. The past four years have changed me forever."
Another mail tells me the same thing using slightly different wordings:
"I no longer recognize myself, I am beside myself..."

Simple powerful sentences that reveal something deep and true...
It sounds as if that former Self that one knows or has gotten used to has also been invaded and occupied...changed forever.
It sounds as if this is no longer my country, this is no longer my home, this is no longer my self...
I am no longer myself. I am shadow of me as if someone else or something else took over and I am standing by the sides watching it all and I no longer recognize anything...

It goes beyond bewilderment, amazement, stupefaction, or shock...It is worse.
It is estrangement from one's self.

We have become strangers to ourselves, strangers to one another, strangers to society, strangers to the group and strangers within...beside ourselves.

And am still trying to find the words...the right words...that inner truth that will convey to you the exactness...So I will give myself the freedom to use whatever images come to mind.

Whenever I take the time to ponder on this tragic "loss" of country and self, I am assailed by several visions that keep intruding.

One of them is a forced brutal violent delivery by forceps of a premature infant, unwilling to be born yet, an unnatural forced labor resulting in an unnatural birth.
A premature infant being placed in some incubator. A tight cocoon, spending the rest of your days grappling in total aloneness, struggling with your vital functions to feed yourself, breath...survive.
Unassisted by any life saving machine and the cocoon gets tighter and tighter and you are grappling even more...
You try to grip onto anything and that anything becomes like a totem, a talisman which you infuse with some life impulse, hoping against hope, it will keep you intact...

It can be a memory that you rehearse in your head in its minutest details, a song that you listen to over and over again, a piece of art that you keep admiring even though you know it by heart, a sentence that has provided you with warmth and that you repeat endlessly...anything that keeps the umbilical cord from irretrievably snapping...
Anything to keep a seeming sense of belonging in the face of loss...
Anything to stay alive and not go insane...

Another image that comes to mind is being in a boat with no sails, no oars, no anchor, no rudder, no compass and no life jacket and you are just floating and you do not know if you will end up anywhere or you may just drown any minute...totally at the mercy of the waves and the direction the winds blow.

The feeling that accompanies these images is akin to someone suddenly pulling the rug from under your feet and you come crashing down on your face and everytime you try to stand up...the rug is pulled again and again and again...

You see, it is not only about losing some "territorial" grounds. It is not only about the occupation of a land or the destruction of some house or some building... These are only the tip of the iceberg.
It goes beyond all of that...
It is about losing your own grounds, your signposts, your anchors, your references...
It is about losing your inner edifice, your own inner structure...

And it goes beyond losing too, because losing implies you can find "it" again...

Here, I would like to use the Palestinian example for comparisons.
The Palestinians lost their land through a brutal illegal occupation by the Jews.
I call it a colonization.
Iraqis did not lose land as such...even though they are illegally occupied and colonized too.

Yes, I found the word now...It is not only about losing your country...It is about disintegration...
Something was integrated, made whole and now disintegrates, fragments...
The Palestinians have one "advantage" over us Iraqis. They still have that point of reference. The land out there. They can see it in their imagination, dream of it, long for it...
It is still there somehow and still whole even though violently occupied by someone else. It is there solid...immutable...
For Iraqis, the land is still here...but we ourselves have disintegrated into a chaos...we have fragmented inside out...
The fabric is torn into a thousand shreds...It is not even a jigsaw puzzle you can try reassembling. It is more like a porcelain cup shattered into a thousand pieces...

It is so hard to explain in words. Being beside oneself...a shadow of your former hard to find the right words...

I will try again...searching for the correct sentences.

For many years, Iraq was forgotten by the rest of the Arab world and by the so called international community. At least this is the impression one had.
We were conveniently forgotten by the rest of the world during an 8 year war with Iran that bled us to near death...
Then we came back to the limelight, to the forefront of your TV screens.
Demonized as a ruthless lot, bombed senseless then deliberately forgotten again during 13 years of vicious sanctions...forgotten till we became non beings.
Maybe numbers but nothing beyond.
Then back onto your TV screens. Demonized some more and bombed some more...

Since this process of vilification, demonization and dehumanization has been going on for several years, it was easy to invade and occupy us.
Not only physically but in your minds too...
In other words you made sure it does not pose you a deep ethical problem ...since over the years we came to be viewed as a nuisance, a number, or maybe something else, but in any case, no longer human...

Hence it came as no surprise when one of your so called anti-war heroes came up with this sentence "Iraqis are people too"
It is as if you need to pinch yourselves every now and then to remind yourselves that we do belong to the human race after all...or maybe not fully or maybe not at all...
The ugly violence and brutality with which your government, your voters, your soldiers, your media has dealt with us only point to one thing. In your mind's eyes we are a non-people.

This is not even racism. This goes beyond racism...It is not even extermination. It goes beyond extermination...
It is as if we did not exist to start with. In your minds we were non existent. A land inhabited by something but not a people.
Only that can explain the total disintegration you have subjected us to.
Consequently, it must be so easy for you to write us off with numbers and ratios, and ultimately with death.

I bet you would not even treat a stray dog that way for a dog exists in your mind but Iraqis don't.
Except of course, those you have chosen and picked and delineated into "ethnic" subdivisions, drawing up mental and physical borders and checkpoints ...
But still, I am absolutely certain that even these temporarily favored clans of your invention, you do not see as a people.
They are just your pawns for the time being and they too will become non-existent the minute they decide to stop selling their souls to you.

Do you now understand what am talking about? Are my words precise enough?
I am on the other side of the Mirror and am telling you of your perceptions of us and reflecting it all back to you.

I, in fact believe, only a very small fraction of you are really capable of any form of self awareness...
I see you as robots, mental robots for whom independent thought is a terrible struggle.
You are beyond brainwashed...
What separates me from you other than oceans, distances and a hideous occupation that has made me detest you, is a multi layered veil with which you have covered not only your minds but your eyes and your hearts as well...
In fact behind that thick iron wall of yours, you are nothing but a dead people. Your souls are dead, your minds are dead and your hearts are dead...

Yes we have disintegrated.
Yes we have been uprooted, snatched from our beings, alienated and estranged...
Beside ourselves, a shadow of someone we used to be...
Yes we have been slaughtered by the thousands and killed and yes you have destroyed us beyond repair...
Yes you have fragmented us, fractioned us, minced us, shattered us, scattered us into tiny pieces inside out...
Yes you liquified us and have withdrawn life from us... asphyxiating us, blocking oxygen from entering our sytem, sucking all our ressources including the air that we needed to a premature baby in some incubator...
Yes we have nothing left but a hollow look on yellowed, bruised faces. Yellowed by your apathy, indifference, carelessness and bruised by your viciousness.
Yellowed like some pages from an old forgotten history book.
The sadness, the loss, the grief, the pain are so vast, so immeasurable...we have no words left.
Most of the time we keep silent. We still manage to look into each other's eyes and we blink in recognition...
We glance at one another and we nod in acknoweldgement
No words uttered...It is so hard to find the right words when one becomes a shadow of your selves...
We nod and we know.

Yet by some strange paradox whose wordings again elude me, I cannot seem to shake off that perception that continously occupies my mind.

The perception that you have disintegrated quite some time ago...way before we did...into fragments...irretrievably lost.
The image of you being that premature infant with parasitic vital functions, living off like some amoeba...growing into a monster perfected by your killing sprees...
In fact you have ceased to exist for quite some time now...being beside yourselves, a shadow of something you used to be... or thought you were...
In fact you are already dead and mummified and you know it not.
What you are doing to us, you have already done to yourselves and continue doing to yourselves...
We have become your own reflection in that Mirror...
Does it not bother you not realizing that whole, simple Truth ?

Painting: Iraqi artist, Farooq Hassan.

March 25, 2007

Just a little "Gossip" ...

This week was full of little pieces of "gossip". I like to call it "oral narrative historiography" not gossip.
But call it what you will...
Rumors, gossip, grapevine news, off the wires...does not's juicy and fits perfectly well into the overall picture...

The American ambassador, Khalilzad visited "Kurdistan" today. He was joyfully watching some kurdish folk dance and the american flag was waving next to the kurdish one in a tranquil pastoral scenery.
Everyone looked very happy and content. Mission accomplished.

I wonder why I have not read anyone from the "left" accusing Barazani or Talabani of being CIA agents propped by the American government? Ah, I remember they were oppressed...
Well,thought I would mention it "en passant"...just a detail, really.

Talking about the kurds again. My relative Mona came by for a cup of tea.
Mona is half kurdish, half arab. We talked about various subjects.
One of them, Kamel and Omar...and the discussion drifted to the first day of the invasion.
Mona revealed something to me she had not mentioned to me in past discussions. Namely, during the first week of the invasion, in the Hay al Dhubat, where she was visiting a friend, she saw with her own two eyes, 3 tanks. 2 kuwaitis and 1 american followed by a couple of humvees and around 30 iraqis brought in buses from Madinat Al Thawra (now known as the illuminated Sadr City).
She stopped and watched what they were doing.

A new multi speciality clinic had just opened next to her friend's house.
The guys from Sadr city protected by the Kuwaitis and the Americans went on a looting spree, stealing dental and surgical equipment which they have no use for, lab ustensils, ophthalmological machines and the like...
They then proceeded to smash them to pieces, tearing whatever they could tear apart...
Mona was surprised to see Kuwaitis there. Only today she learned that 48% of the Kuwaiti population is Shia too and very pro-Iran.

Still on Kuwait, another piece of gossip.
Fifi Abdo, the famous Egyptian belly dancer said in an interview the following:

" Listen darling, I am no politician. I was born a belly dancer and will die as a belly dancer...but I tell you one thing for Truth's sake, one highly prominent member of the Sheikh al Sabah family told me personally...of course darling I cannot reveal his exact name...but he said to me: We pay money for every Iraqi killed..."

I choose to believe Fifi Abdo the belly dancer over Bush and his stooges in the Gulf and in Kuwait. Mind you, this piece did not surprise me at all.
One saudi "diplomat" told me a few months before the 2003 invasion "we, saudis will not have peace until we see one dead in every single Iraqi family and the first dead one will have to be Saddam and his own..."

Back to Mona, she then gives me another story and she swears she saw it with her own eyes.
She saw again a couple of american tanks and a bunch of Iraqis from "illuminated" Sadr city.
This latter were trying to break into Baghdad Technology University.
The gates were locked with thick metal chains. The americans facilitated the job...They just rolled with their tanks into the gates, smashing them down...
Our brave iraqis then went onto another destruction rampage, looting the university, smashing all the furniture and computers, burning the books...

-What do you think is the reason behind all of this Mona?
-It is clear, they wanted to destroy Iraq and all the educated classes and take us back to the dark ages...That is also why they killed so many academics. You know I did not fear the biggest fear during the first week of the invasion was Iran..I knew Iran was involved in all of this...and I am sure the Mossad was too.
- of course the Mossad was and is still involved. It is common knowledge in Baghdad.

Then our discussion moved to the Kurds.

-He did oppress kurds though...
-Who built Sulaymania University and the whole academic curriculum was in kurdish?
-Hmm... the previous regime, Saddam did
-Who forced secondary school students in Baghdad to learn kurdish as a second language?
- Well, yes, true...the previous regime.
- Was there forced arabization ?
- No of course not...a lot of my kurdish relatives cannot speak arabic.
- Where are the alleged mass graves of Al Anfal?
- Hmm, they are there...
- Where there? Who saw them?
- Well, they said they were there...but I also heard recently Iran used chemicals too.
It's a little too late now...Why did they not tell us this before? (referring to Halabja)
- Who else gave autonomy rule to the kurds apart from Iraq? Iran? Turkey? Syria?
- No, no other country did...

I further confronted her with M.Barazani and Talabani's peshemergas being trained by the Mossad, Iran and the CIA. She could not refute it. Since it is not only common
knowledge but Massood Barazani himself never denied it and confirmed his secret agreements with the CIA back in the 70's.

- So why don't you call them CIA and Mossad agents as well?
She still could not answer me ... Oh well, just another detail.

At that point, Mona finished her tea quickly and left...I don't think I will be seeing Mona again. Not for quite some time at least.

An eventful week indeed. Uncle Zayd came by.
Now Uncle Zayd is well over 70 years old and he is known to be a walking encyclopedia.
He knows everything that needs to be known about "who is who" in Baghdad.
He can give you in an instant the full personal resume of X, tracing X's lineage from his ancestry till this very day.
Uncle Zayd is a very learned man and I usually listen to him intently when he talks...
Except he has this annoying habit of speaking in such a low voice, one has to practically sit in his lap to hear him...apart from this detail...when Uncle Zayd talks, I am full ears.

More tea was served and I don't know how but the discussion took a sudden bifurcation and landed on Muqtada al Sadr, Chubby checkers and his drill boys.
I remember now, it was Kamel's dissapearance that pushed the conversation in that direction...

Now the exciting bits. I nearly fell off my chair when I heard this.
Chubby checkers was never a mullah and had hardly studied theology.
Now Uncle Zayd is an old man and he has been around...and this is what he had to say.

" Muqtada's father was killed by the Iranians...They had this long conflict in the Hawza's amongst themselves. The Iranian wing of the Hawza (theological authority) wanted Qum to become the point of all ultimate reference (Marja'iah) whilst Muqtada's father and his branch believed that Najaf should remain the ultimate Marja'iah - Basically a clerical conflict...When Muqtada's father was killed...Muqtada had nothing to do with religion per se...He used to be a football addict, a street boy, a bully and a thug, hated reading or studying and was considered a spoiled brat by everyone...
When he became orphaned, Saddam took pity on him and spoiled him even more with gifts...Now he has become a mullah...How? Only Allah knows...I have studied law all my life and I still do not consider myself a judge..."

Aha! That explains Chubby Checkers hatred for football... Relieving his guilty conscience for all the days he wasted in the streets banging that ball instead of studying...and that also explains the nature of his disciples, the drills boys...
And to think that he is considered the great anti-imperialist, anti-occupation force in today's Iraq is beyond comical...
Incidentally, the number of tortured, drilled bodies has shot up from 7-15 bodies a day dumped in various parts of the city to 30-40 a day...
Seems Chubby and his drill boys have made a comeback after some intensive training in both Iran and Kurdistan...Oh well, yet another detail.

Now for another piece...

Ammar al Hakim, the golden child. Son of Al Hakim, the daddy of the Badr Brigades of the Ministry of Interior, the leader of Iraq's Islamic revolutionary Council, referred to as "your eminence" by Bush. The one who came from Teheran after 25 years of "exile" and is now considered a leading role player in the "new Iraqi democracy".

Remember him? Oh Good.
Well, Ammar is his son. The one who was a bit roughed by the americans upon his return from Iran. Yeah that's him.
Seems that Ammar al Hakim has turned Basrah into his own personal market playground.
He trades the oil with whomsoever he wants, selling it, giving it away, making contracts...and of course collecting the cash with absolutely no accountability...

And one more ...

It seems that satellite pictures of Basrah after the invasion showed a pipeline that was non existent in pre-invasion satellite pictures of that same area.
So the story goes, a special pipeline has been constructed since the invasion to pump oil for order to pay the costs of "operation freedom", i.e to cover the costs of our liberation.

So Iraqis are paying with their own blood and oil for their "liberating" death.
How about that for a new juicy piece of gossip for the coming week?

Do keep me informed if you hear more like the ones above and you are very welcome to drop by for a cup of tea as well...
And do check Fifi Abdo, the belly dancer...she is a mighty good dancer too.
Or maybe check with Al-Sabah family, they may be able to give you more details on her undulations...and on the american-iranian-israeli agenda for the region.
And if that fails, you can always contact the Saudi diplomat, he must be gleeing with satisfaction by now.
A bientot.

P.S: I just remembered something else that completely slipped my mind.
Mona was talking about one of her best friends, a communist. She said:
"I have seen a lot in my life, but a communist supporting the american invasion and occupation, this I have never seen."
It is true, a few communists, actually more than a few, did vote for Allawi during the first round of our "free" elections. Oh well, yet another detail.

Painting: Iraqi artist, Shakir Al-Alousi.

March 22, 2007

Over 6000 Days of Solitude...

A few days ago, I learned that Kamel, 56 years old, has been detained by the Americans.
They stormed his house at dawn, took him out in his pyjamas and since that day we have not heard from him or his whereabouts.

I have been unable to sleep. I twist and turn in my bed, counting the minutes...
I keep wondering what "they" are doing to him...
Are they torturing him? He is sick, are they giving him any medication? Are they brutally interrogating him? Does he sleep standing up amidst hundreds of others?
Are they giving him water? Do they feed him? Did they kill him? Is he dead? Where on earth is he? What has he done? Did he perhaps glimpse Omar in the crowd of the 100'000 prisoners?
And so it goes in my head, on and on...running in circles.

What I did learn though is that an "informant" blew the whistle.
But I know for a fact that Kamel being the quiet, pious man, is not involved in any "activity".
Sure, he does not appreciate and is not "grateful" for the occupation, but then who does apart from those agents and informants ruling Baghdad today.
It seems that he was overheard talking to a friend after Friday prayers. He was telling his friend "We do not fear Death, we trust in Allah..." So his wife told me.

Seems that sentence was enough to abduct him from his family in the wee hours of the morning and make him disappear...
Will I ever see Omar and Kamel again, ever?
I just don't want them to hurt him...He is a kind, kind man...Very religious, sufi-like and compassionate towards everyone he meets. He still has it in his heart or maybe not anymore...

I could not go with another sleepless night... Besides which, a fever is raging in my body.
I noticed it came on after I was told about Kamel being kidnapped from his bed.
Fever followed by cold chills and the heat strikes again.
And I sit in my bed, one minute shivering and the other feeling I am in the pits of a Fire hole...

Then I remembered something I heard when I was a child. "Count sheep" the voice told me...
I cannot recall who exactly uttered this sentence but I do remember vividly imagining a flock of sheep and my counting them sometimes on the roof terrace where we used to sleep in summer, I would count the stars and that would do the trick.

I see no stars so I decided to try the sheep... It did not work.
So this brilliant idea flashed across my mind and since I am so bad in maths, they bore me to death, I thought I will engage in simple mathematical know, nothing too complex, simple arithmetics...
Surely this will do the trick and I will be able to fall asleep at least for a couple of hours and maybe when I awake, I will hear news from Kamel...I lost hope about Omar though.

So I started multiplying 365 by 4 . Hey that was easy - 1461.
I needed something more to trigger me into dozing off...
So I went for 13 multiplied by 365. That was more difficult - 4745.
Now I added up the two figures in my mind - 6206.
Six thousand two hundred and six days...

That is over 6'000 days since the barbaric embargo and the occupation...
Over 6'000 days of savagery, brutality, violence, destruction, rape, torture, imprisonments, starvation, neglect, abandonment...
Over 6'000 days of living in the obscurity, to the blind eyes and deaf ears of the rest of the world...
Over 6'000 days of being left on the margins of the international community, marginalized into shadows, into ghosts with no names, into a subhuman category, into a void of total despair, left to fend for ourselves...

First, during the 13 years of the most brutal sanctions that history has ever witnessed followed by another 4 years of the most savage occupation known to any living human...

And so we are dumped collectively with our ruins, debris, sickness, garbage, poverty into a convenient forgetfulness...rotting away...on the our homes, in our streets, in prisons you have constructed specially for the occasion...for people like Omar who is not 18 yet and for Kamel who is 56.
Rendering the whole of Iraq a huge detention camp that people try to flee and escape from, only to find themselves prisoners of lack, poverty and rejection in other countries.

Iraq is over 6'000 years old and it took you just over 6'000 days cut us off totally from the world, from any form of civility, to uproot us and destroy us...Why?

I cannot sleep and I need to know WHY?

Saddam was a dictator is that it? Do you really believe your own lies so readily?
Even your so called anti neocons "fighters"...they STILL have the audacity to keep spewing this deceit till this very day - after 6'000 days of collective torture and death...
"Saddam was an American puppet, Saddam was a CIA agent, Saddam was a mass murderer, Saddam was a tyrant..."

6'0000 days later and you still repeat that like idiotic sheep ....
6'000 days later and over 600'000 dead and you still have the audacity to repeat that...?
What bloody hypocrites!

No wonder an article stated that "the anti war movement this time around...(because it seems you had many times around before - thanks to YOUR Tyranny and Dictatorship around the world) lacks vibrancy..."

I wonder why it lacks vibrancy? I tell you why...because Iraq is not Guatemala, nor Vietnam, nor Salvador, nor Chile, nor Korea, nor Japan...
Iraq is Arab that is why. And that explains why you were so lovey dovey with the kurds and whoever was willing to put his hand in yours...
You just hate Arab nationalism...Forget nationalism...
You, all of you, left and right, hate Arab patriotism...You hate Arab pride. You hate Arab dignity. You hate Arab Honor...
You have inherited this hatred from your Masters, the hypocritical Brits...They hated it too.

You want us like sheep...same as the sheep I am supposed to be counting in order to fall asleep.
Like the sheep I have to count because you took my loved ones away never to be seen again, in the name of Freedom...
You want us to have your so called "democracy" by violent force. And you are so collectively stupid you cannot even see the absurdity in all of that. Or maybe you do see it and it suits you perfectly well...

Yes this is what you want. Nice "moderate" read compliant, obedient, sheep (slaves) to your ideologies, your way of life, your habits, your consumer goods...
Consume, just consume and give us your monies...Don't think, don't question, don't argue, don't perceive, don't debate, don't contradict OUR truth...
If WE say you live in a dictatorship that means you live in one...If WE say "he was a tyrant and too bad it was a botched up job that turned him into a martyr" then he is a tyrant.
WE will collectively fabricate the evidence and you will have to believe us...And eventually WE will believe it too...
If WE say you are not free, that means you are not free...
If WE say you are being oppressed, that means you are being oppressed...
And WE will come and liberate you and save you from all of that...Because WE,the killers, the abusers, the rapists, the torturers, the thieves, the tyrants, the dictators...have the Truth.
WE are the enlightened ones, the rational ones, the empirical ones, the scientific ones, the analytical ones...WE know .
And you, a people over 6'000 years old don't know and you happen to have the oil too...
And to top it all off you are Arabs ...What a combo!
No, you definitely need our freedom, our human rights, our democratic institutions...
WE will first starve you, render you ill, give you cancer with our Depleted Uranium, bomb the shit out of you, rape you, torture you, kidnap you, imprison you, kill you you may be ready to receive OUR gift of democracy and freedom...
But hey if anything goes wrong, be prepared, because WE will blame you. Blame you for being incapable of receiving that wonderful present...And WE will call you tyrants, terrorists, dictators, backward, hopeless...

What a lie you people have collectively bought into.
What a disgusting, deceitful, evil lie...
And 6'000 days later you have the gall to call a man who kept the unity of this country and who sacrificed his life at your altar and your altar is nothing but a gallow, a tyrant?

Despicable, truly despicable...

Over 6'000 days, abandoned in solitude and silence...A deafening silence despite the cacophony that your anti-war movement prides itself on...Oh but I forgot, it does lack "vibrancy".

Maybe an insufficient number of your brave boys died...
The brave boys of Abu Ghraib, Haditha, Mahmoudia, Ramadi, Falluja, Baghdad...
The brave boys who piss on dead corpses. Who rape and mutilate...The brave boys who keep dead brains for trophies...The brave boys who burn people alive...The brave boys who ask 10 years old kids if they "fuck donkeys"... (do watch the video) or maybe the brave boys who paint the crucifix on the Koran and in mosques - here is another video for you.
Yes brave boys indeed...3'000 something is NOT enough...Maybe if we double it and make it 6'000 maybe you will regain your "vibrancy".

6'000 of yours for our 6'000 days of suffering, pain and torture...
See how merciful I am...I am not even saying 600'000 of yours...just 6'000.

So let me count again... hmm....that makes 1 for each day spent under your collective lies, punishments and crimes...
Not bad for a mathematical equation don't you think?
See, there is an upside to everything, you have taught me how to count correctly now.
And lo and behold, am not even bored by the whole exercise.

I still need to sleep though...I will pick Gabriel Garcia Marquez and re-read "Love in the time of Cholera".
Summer is approaching and thanks to you, Cholera is too...Except I have absolutely no love to share with you.
Blame it on the raging fever that has gotten hold of my body...
Blame it on over 6'000 days of solitude in Hell.

Now where did I put those darned sleeping pills ?

Painting: Iraqi artist, AbdelAmeer Alwan.

March 21, 2007


Vivaldi's four Seasons is blasting away as I am typing these lines.
Concerto no.1 "Spring" is now being played.

I usually like to view Spring as Nature ushering us into a new cycle, a new rebirth on the wheel of Life and Death.
Spring has been traditionally associated by various folks as a new year, the 21st of March to be more precise. A day where Nature's colors and brightness erase the dim, tenebrous memories of the grey winter sky...

In the Middle East this date is celebrated by Persians and Kurds amongst others as Nawrooz (the new year). This date is also Mother's day in this part of the world.

I find it more than coincidental that Mother's day, i.e the one who gives birth is also celebrated on that same date which corresponds to the Spring Equinox. Nature in fact gives birth to all living things in Spring.

Because this day is laden with symbols, my mind wanders automatically to Nature's mysterious and orderly ways.
Everything buds and burgeons in Spring. From the tiniest nascent blade of grass, to some wild flower caught in the cracks of a pavement, to Jasmin and Orange blossom trees... Even palm trees grow small offshoots of bright fresh green leaves.
Here is "Mother" Nature conceiving, gestating, and preparing herself for her final delivery in Summer or early Autumn.

End of march, the Spring Equinox, is also the month where Nature's lands were forcefully and violently invaded.
First they penetrated Her with tons and tons of bombs before Her soil was marched on by foreign boots, planting on their way seeds of destruction and death. Impregnating Her earth, water and air with millions of chemical and radioactive germs and particles, lingering in her womb like some tenacious spermatozoa, fertilizing Her by sheer brutality and force...

And since that day, 4 years ago, the day of conception, Nature has been delivering out nothing but cadavers.
In fact she has been constantly pregnant with a belly full of corpses. And if per chance She does go through protracted labor pains, she instantly drops deformed, wounded and injured faces or some lone limb and pieces of desiccated flesh, scattering them generously all over this land.

And since it is also Mother's day here, naturally my thoughts go to the thousands of Mothers in this putrefied land...

The Mother who lost her child, the Mother who lost her brother, sister, father, mate, her own Mother...
The childless Mother who wants to become a mother but fears conceiving lest these foreign boots kick her in her womb.
The Mother who weeps, the Mother who grieves, the Mother permanently dressed in black, the Mother who soaks her pillow during sleepless nights with silent tears...
The Mother who is arrested and imprisoned. The Mother who is raped and made pregnant against her will. The Mother who is tortured. The Mother who is executed...
And the Mother who has no access to medical care or food. The Mother living on the dirty pavements of Cairo, Damascus or Amman selling anything to feed her kids...
The Mother who is insulted, spat on and humiliated at checkpoints and borders...
The Mother in permanent exile, exiled in her own house and in her own land, afraid of walking the streets...

And naturally again, my thoughts take a turn and go the Motherless child. Thousands of them, scattered like tiny pearls from a broken necklace...

And that cursed month of March, the Spring, the New Year for some...Another true Iraqi has been assassinated. His lawyer Bushra al Khalil said that she sent letters to the U.N secretary general and even to Bush, arguing that Taha Yassin Ramadan was a prisoner of war and that he was under the custody and responsibility of the Americans... Her letters went unanswered.
Furthermore, the Americans would not allow her to attend the Trial since there were "very serious death threats" against her if she lands in Baghdad, so they declared.
Saddam Hussein was executed on New Year's eve and Taha Yassin Ramadan was executed on another New Year's eve...
A symbol for the symbiosis of shared the Triangle of Hatred America/Iran/The Kurds (read Israel).

Yes they invaded in March, right before Mother's day and the New Year of the Spring Equinox...
Marching in, spitting, cursing, kicking, destroying and massacring everything and everyone on their way...turning the green spring pastures into a killing field irrigated with red blood...

Vivaldi is still blasting away. Concerto no.4 "Winter" is now playing...
Winter is traditionally associated with Endings. Where everything dies preparing itself for rebirth in Spring...
For four years we seem to be stuck in the winter of our lives. We seem to be stuck with Death...

And since Vivaldi wrote sonnets to go with his Four Seasons I will quote for you his winter piece:
"We tread the icy path slowly and cautiously, for fear of tripping and falling.
Then turn abruptly, slip, crash on the ground and, rising,
hasten on across the ice lest it cracks up.
We feel the chill north winds course through the home despite the locked and bolted doors..."

I just noticed tiny droplets of rain gently knocking on my window."Mother" Nature is crying yet once more...And in Iraq her tears are made of blood.

Painting: Iraqi artist, Ali Talib, "Mesopotamia crying"

March 16, 2007

"Our Brothers", the Kurds...

I did say in my previous post that I should stop watching TV. Did not happen.

Could not miss this excellent historical documentary on al Jazeera about Mostafa Al Barazani.
Mostafa Al Barazani is the father figure "par excellence" of the Kurdish separatist (and I would add chauvinist) movement in Iraq.
This program interviewed many personalities who intimately knew and dealt with Mostafa Al Barazani and of course his son Massoud was there too.

They say in order to understand the present, you must know the past. And this is one of the reasons, I am taking pains to summarize this documentary.

According to this documentary and it was quite accurate in its analysis, Mostafa Barazani sought support for his Kurdish "cause" from nearly everyone and everywhere.

First it was the Soviet Union but their cooperation was short lived when Mostafa found out that the Soviets were arming Iraq.
Then he turned to the Iraqi Monarchy and that too did not work.
Then he sought Abdel Kareem Qassem, the nationalist leader who overthrew the Iraqi monarchy in 1958. But even then the alliance was very short lived and Qassem ordered the clamping down of the kurdish separatist movement after this latter started waging attacks on Iraqi civilians.
Then Mostafa sought an alliance with AbdelSalam Aref and later with his brother AbdelRahman and that too was short lived.
Seems that Mostafa Al Barazani demands for total autonomy of the "kurdish" areas were not in line with Iraq's internal or external policies.
Or maybe the various Iraqi governments simply did not fancy an attack on their territorial sovereignty.

Mostafa decided to take matters into his own hands and started manufacturing arms and even took a good number of Iraqi soldiers as prisoners in the remote northern areas of so called Kurdistan and Irbil in particular.

On a side note, Irbil is not a kurdish city by the way. Irbil comes from the Akkadian word deriving from "arba'a" meaning the number 4 and refers to the four directions or four gates and has some esoteric meaning to it that has nothing to do with the kurds.

In 1968, when the Baath came to power, M.H Al-Bakr, the then president of Iraq and Saddam Hussein his young vice president wanted a clean page with Barazani the father.
According to one of the kurdish guys interviewed and who is a vehement Barazani supporter, whose name eludes me (I am very bad with names by the way- so do forgive me) met with Saddam Hussein.

Saddam asked him: "What do you exactly want and I will sign it for you on a blank piece of paper". The man replied "If you are willing to sign anything on a blank page, this means that you will not give us anything". Saddam then said: " Tell me what do you exactly want?" The guy replied "We want self rule".
Saddam asked: "Explain to me what self rule means" The guy replied "I will send you a two page memo about self rule"...and Saddam Hussein agreed.

Meanwhile, the Kurds headed by M.Barazani were striking political deals with the Shah of Iran...
Saddam went ahead and agreed to the application of self rule in 1974.

Turkey then intervened and started putting pressure on both the Iraqi government and on the Kurds. The program then says that there were problems in the "applications of self rule" and a disagreement followed, without really telling us what these problems were.

On a side note, Barazani who was originally from Iran and finally settled in the Iraqi northern parts, kept telling his men, do not hate the Arabs, we have a problem only with Iraqi Arabs and in particular the Iraqi Government...
And that is a very important point that I do not want you to forget .
I shall continue my little expose which is in fact nothing but a resume of the program I watched on TV.

In 1974 two other developments took place and which are in my opinion of great importance

1) the Kurdish leadership sought out help from the Israeli Mossad and this latter gladly helped.
An Israeli former Mossad agent,  EliezerTsfarini said in that same interview/program.
"It is not so much a mossad/kurdish alliance. It was more of a friendly alliance between two "opppressed" people. Us, the Israelis having known the Holocaust, understood very well the Kurdish plight for a state of their own".
This gentlemen then wrote a book in hebrew and the title was "I am a kurd too..."

2) The second important development was a secret agreement orchestrated by Henry Kissinger and the Kurdish leadership.
In fact it was a secret agreement between the CIA and the Kurds and the Iraqi government and Saddam Hussein knew nothing of it.
This unofficial agreement back in 1974 assured that the USA will help the Kurds in realizing their objectives .
Or more aptly, that the CIA will help the Kurds in realizing their aims for an independent state in Iraq.
(Notice not in Iran, not in Syria, not in Turkey where considerable kurdish populations exist, but in Iraq!)

In 1975, Saddam Hussein signed with the Shah of Iran the Algiers Treaty.
Saddam Hussein made many concessions on Shatt al Arab (the only maritime exit for Iraq) in exchange for Iran's closing its doors and no longer allowing Kurdish infiltrators from its territories into Iraq.

In 1979, the Shah was deposed and came Khomeini barking about regime change in Iraq, conveniently forgetting the Great Satan (USA). Years later, and Iran still barks about the Great Satan (USA) yet collaborates with it in Iraq through its proxy sectarian government and its death militias.

That same year Mostafa al Barazani fell gravely ill and went to Iran for treatment. He was then flown to the USA for further medical care for advanced cancer and died there.

In 1981, the Iran-Iraq war took place and Iran forgot all about the Algiers treaty and reopened its borders for separatist chauvinist Kurdish infiltrators into Iraq so they can continue pursuing their kurdish state claim there and not on Iranian territory. A war that lasted 8 years where Iraq lost not less than 1 million men.

In 1990, the Kurdish areas became an American/ English "protected zone".
Massoud Barazani, the prodigal son, took over the leadership from his father and so it continued till the second invasion in 2003 until this very day.

Now "our brothers the Kurds" have their own little flag, have excellent ties with Iran, America and Israel who has continued training their peshmergas since 1974.

Not only that, the "poor oppressed gassed kurds" as so many of you like to moan, are ethnically cleansing Kirkuk of all its Turkmen and Arab inhabitants and conducting massive detention raids and imprisoning hundreds.
For your information, Kirkuk's last population census, the only one available, has these figures:
A roughly even distribution between Turkmen and Arabs. 40% and 38%. The rest is around 22% kurds and some Assyrians.

Now with the ethnic cleansing undertaken by the chauvinistic kurds, I am not sure what the new pre-arranged figures are.
I know that they were inflated for the "Free elections" that America promised us in our new democracy...

Still on the subject of the chauvinist Kurds. By the way, they are now claiming that Mosul is Kurdish.
My great, great, grandfather was from Mosul, so was my great grandfather and grandfather and my father and they were not kurds. Even though I do have some "kurdish blood." (Whatever that means... All Blood is red to me!)
Kurds did not even exist then in Mosul...

My, these kurds are starting to sound like zionists, claiming more and more territory.
Or maybe they are zionists after all. Chauvinism and racism love company.
No wonder the Israelis feel so much affinity to them.

On the subject of Zionists, I just spotted this on Haaret'z .

"A U.S. defense official on Thursday encouraged Israelis to pump investments into the devastated Iraqi economy. Paul Brinkley, U.S. deputy undersecretary of defense for business transformation, told a business conference here that Israelis and any other investors were welcome in a country crying out for investment
Israeli business people, any business people, we would encourage them to come," said Brinkley, speaking on the sidelines of a conference aimed at spurring investment into Iraq's northern Kurdish-ruled region. Brinkley leads the task force charged with reinvigorating Iraqi industry...
Israel is believed to maintain discreet ties to Kurdish groups, including those in Iraq, although Kurdish officials in the country deny such links." (full article here)

"Including those of Iraq"? So where else Haaret'z?

Anyways your info comes in a tad too late.
Tell your investors that since 1974, Israel has been having ties with our "brothers the kurds."
If you don't believe me ask M.Barazani and J.Talabani your buffoons.

I reiterate what I said in some of my previous posts namely; I regret every single minute I supported so called   "Kurdish rights"...
 God bless you Saddam Hussein, you had perfect vision!
Painting: Iraqi kurdish Artist Serwan Baran

March 14, 2007

Out of the Box...

I should stop watching TV.
I am not a TV addict by any means. I hardly touch the damn thing except for the news and maybe an interesting documentary.
Needless to say, I NEVER watch CNN or Fox and Co. Unless of course someone points a gun to my head and forces me to.
Occasionally I would switch on to the BBC. But the English never cease to irritate me. Must be some colonial relic in my psyche.
So am stuck with al Jazeera. Al Jazeera in Arabic not in English.
First I don't get the English version and when I did have the opportunity to watch it, I found it too "diluted" for my taste. Almost homeopathic dosages of real news. Of course, they were catering for their english speaking viewers.
Skip it and I did.

So, the other night, on the Arabic Al Jazeerah, there was this program called "Ma wara'a al Khabar". Basically translated "Behind a piece of news."

The night's subject was the "political escape" of Raouf AbdelRahman, the kurdish "judge" of the kangaroo, circus, court trial, where the Legitimate President of Iraq, Saddam Hussein, met his ultimate fate.

That same puppet judge who kept shouting with his broken Arabic accent (forced arabization?) "Shut up, sit down, stand up, take him out...Shut up, sit down, stand up, take him out..."

The guy is a bad joke.
He kept using his litle hammer- knock, knock , knock...Stuttering and repeating, "Shut up, sit down, stand up, take him out..."

And the REAL Iraqis, of which Saddam Hussein is one, kept repeating:
"Long live Iraq, Long live Palestine, Down with Zionism, Down with Imperialism, Long live the Resistance..."

And the kurdish sell out judge would go - knock, knock, knock with his pathetic wooden hammer...and shriek in his squeaky, mousy, voice and purse his thin lips even more...

That "judge" decreed that Saddam Hussein was to be hanged.
And a few weeks later, he issued another similar verdict about his aides.
And it was that same joker who escaped to Mother England.
And all of you "valiant lefties" of the West and your lackeys in the Middle East and you hypocritical sell out Iraqis (kurds included), your silence was deafening...

So back to that program on al Jazeera. The two invited guests to discuss this topic of the runaway judge were: Khalil Al Dulaimi in Amman (one of Saddam's Lawyers - and may I remind you that three of them were assassinated during the trial period) and Mohamed Hussein Al Mussawi in London.

This latter, another "iraqi" actually an iranian, is a spokesman for the sectarian shias and the sadrists - chubby checkers M.Al Sadr and his drill boys.
I don't know why I keep calling him chubby checkers - I may need to see a therapist about that. What do you think?

The presentator was Joumana Namour. A Lebanese woman with an ugly twist to her mouth when she speaks...and I usually try to avoid her (because of the mouth business) but that night the subject was too important and I had to put up with her ugly twist... of the mouth that is.

And now I will give you extracts of this program "Behind the news."

Mohamed Hussein Al Mussawi, not older than 30, with the typical look of an "arriviste."
Three tons of gel on his receeding hairline, a shiny tie (english look oblige) starts the "debate".

"In the name of God, the Merciful, the Compassionate.
Al Imam al Hussein said...(Imam al Hussein is the figure venerated by the shiites and literally puts them in a trance of ecstatic dimensions - in other words a good show for the booming business in Kerbala and Najaf)...then he continues...
I want to salute the steadfast city of Sadr (in the past one guy referred to Sadr city as the Madina al Munawara...the illuminated city of Sadr) and all the martyrs of Hilla...
The people of this new Democracy, Iraq, are now free from this "taghia" i.e "tyrant" Saddam Hussein may he not rest in peace...
We do not know if the courageous judge Raouf AbdelRahman escaped or not. Or if he is seeking political asylum.
We know that many honorable Iraqis have asked for political asylum before and after the trial of the tyrant, may he not rest in peace...
But you know sister Joumanah, people do such things in a new Democracy, they are allowed to seek political asylum if they wish.

Joumana Namour intervenes.
" But excuse me, if the members of the court, like this judge, sought political asylum from even before the trial, does that not put a question mark on the legality of the whole trial?"

Mohammed Hussein Mussawi:" No. You have to understand that Iraq is now a free country. During the "taghia"(tyrant)regime, people were not allowed to they are free to go wherever they want..."

Joumana Namour turns to Khalil al Dulaimi.
"So Mr Al Dulaimi what do you have to say to that?"

" First, salutations and blessings to all Iraqi victims and Long Live the valiant Iraqi Resistance who is fighting the American occupation..
You need to know that two arrest warrants were issued against Raouf Abdel Rahman.
The first one in 1964 during AbdelSalam Aref''s reign and the second in 1999 during Saddam Hussein's.
This man has not practiced law since. The kangaroo trial that put to death the warrior, hero Saddam Hussein was nothing but an American and Persian show...

Al-Mussawi starts chuckling and sneering...

Joumana Namour with her ugly twist, turns to Al Mussawi and he says:
" Now we are free from this tyrant may he never rest in peace. Justice has been finally declared..."
Al Dulaimi interrupts : "Shut up you american agent, you are persian, you are not an Iraqi, you dog..."
Al-Mussawi: "You monkey, takfeeree, jihadist, wahabi, baathist, saddamist..."

And so the program ended...

Now, from this short exchange it is has become clear that Raouf Abdel Rahman was borrowed from England for the trial's sake, hence his return home after a big part of his asssigned mission was completed.
Not only that, but this fake puppet never actually practiced law...
And I also learned that those who are officially defending him today are the Sadrists typified in the heavily "gelled" character of Al Mussawi from London...

Could not get better - simply priceless!

This program was followed by another one concerning Iran/US talks in Baghdad.
The guests were: A.Nakkash, a Lebanese and a strong Hezbollah supporter. A.M Said, a senior analyst from Al Ahram and F.Buwaez, Lebanese ex- minister of foreign affairs.

The topic was on "The Poker Game" in Iraq and the current players.

A.Nakkash in his typical Hezb fashion declared that the US was totally defeated by the strong anti-Imperialist revolutionary Iran and was seeking an honorable way out.

Al Said, the egyptian "moderate", argued that Iran had internal problems and that is was seeking two ojectives : continue its uranium enrichment and become a worthy regional player and help the U.S save face upon its exit from Iraq.

Fares Buwaez on the other hand argued and this guy is smart, regardless of his politics...that Iran and Syria knowing that the U.S has been defeated - (I told you that already back in one of my previous posts see 22 December 2006) want to engage this latter in some bilateral talks concerning not only the Iranian nuclear issue but also concerning Lebanon, Hezbollah and the Golan Heights.
In other words Iran and Syria have a full deck of cards - thanks to the Iraqi Resistance - whilst the U.S does not.

The discussion was one hour long and I cannot transcript everything here.
However I was left with the distinct feeling that:

- Syria would be signing a peace agreement with Israel soon enough (remember they have been having those secret talks)
- Iran will agree to some "limitations" on its nuclear program and will play a significant role in the continuing stability of Southern Iraq (where a good part of the oil lies) and of course Baghdad through its puppet sectarian government.
- And that the one who marched to the gallows on the 30th of December and was the sacrificial lamb of this poker game was not only Saddam Hussein, but the whole of Iraq and its people.
-I also had the distinct feeling that the Iraqi Resistance against the American Occupation is in its last throes...But hey, am a gambler too.. and I bet on true Iraqis.

Yes, America has been defeated, but who actually won?

P.S:I am sure Abeer al-Janabi is ecstatic in her grave. A year has passed already since her hideous rape and murder at the hands of the American army.
The current sectarian, puppet, government in Iraq of which Al-Mussawi is nothing but a tiny example, have arrested Sabrine al-Janabi calling her a prostitute.
Sabrine was raped by 3 "Iraqi" sectarian police officers.
Had 14 years old Abeer been alive today, they would have arrested her too and called her a prostitute for being raped by 4 american soldiers.

I just noticed the heavily "gelled" Al Mussawi chuckling and sneering, winking at you from Teheran via London.

PSS: I have noticed something else that aroused my curiosity and I just want to share it with you.
During the Israeli attack on Lebanon in July 2006, and its subsequent defeat, in a somewhat limited war, compared to what Iraq has been witnessing during those last 4 years, many of you were chanting the praises of the Lebanese Resistance.
The Iraqi Resistance has been fighting for 4 years now. Engaging the no.1, most powerful army in the world. Thwarting American plans in the region and making it all "very difficult"..
How come I have not seen you chanting in its praise?
Have you also been contaminated by sectarianism yourselves?
Or have succumbed to Robert Fisk's love of Ze Lebanon and its women "who look so much like ours"?
Are we too dusty for your "refined exquisite western taste"?
Do I need to siliconize my breasts and pump up my lips with collagen? Would that do the trick per chance? Do let me know...

Painting: Iraqi artist, Mohammed Muhraddin.

March 13, 2007

Enough is Enough !

Everytime I read an article written by some american or english "analyst" on Iraq, whoever he/she is, I simply cringe inside.
Papa Chomsky, Hajji Mullah Chossudovsky, the Nabob Chris Floyd, the John le Carre Kurt Nimmo, Lawrence of Arabia P.Cockburn, the Romantic Orientalist Troubadour Robert Fisk, the Misinformed Juanito Cole and the Invisible Man, Investigator, Max Fuller ...
These people have got NO clue of what is happening IN Iraq. Or they have a clue and they simply REFUSE to see. Which of course makes matters worse...

I have read the latest two articles by Papa Chomsky. Your Allah and Guru.
One on Counterpunch and the other in the Independent. Same crap, same flavor.
Please tell your Guru on my behalf that it is about high time, he either sticks to linguistics or simply retires to some Kibbutz and grows cabbages instead...and spares us his insights.
Papa Chomsky is one of the most hypocritical "leftists" I have ever come across.

As for Hajji Mullah Chossudovsky, either he simply does not read what is really happening on the Iraqi grounds or he relies solely on the contributors to his website.
The ones that promise us that Muqtada Sadr and the Sadrists ARE the Resistance against the American Occupation and that the Jaysh al Mahdi, the armed wing of that same infamous sectarian bunch is a distinct entity from which sprung "rogue" elements. Crap again. Muqtada al Sadr, the Sadrists and the Jaysh al Mahdi are one and the same and there are no "rogue" elements to them.
Or maybe Mullah Chossudovsky relies solely on the “brilliance”of Max Fuller.
Something that the Brussels Tribunal, supposedly fighting the Occupation does too.
Anyway who the hell is Max Fuller? Has this guy ever been to Iraq? Has he met Iraqis who were not in exile and did not belong to the Dawah party? Or just he simply extrapolates from his Latin American “expertise” in Colombia and juxtaposes it to Iraq willy nilly? Because everyone seems to quote Mr Invisible Investigator.
He asserts with great vehemence the following :

"What we do have is a growing body of eyewitness testimonies from Iraqis asserting the presence of members of one or other militia group. Such assertions are blown out of all proportion within the mainstream western media by writers who have never seriously questioned the role of US military-intelligence advisors in orchestrating the death squads despite a barrage of evidence. The views of journalists who take this line can be discarded as trash, but not those of the Iraqis, who, undoubtedly, genuinely see the involvement of both Badr and Mehdi militiamen. The problem with such testimonies is not in their credibility but in their ability to perceive the structures and follow the chains of command of the various armed groups that are assaulting them."

What Max fuller wants you to believe is that Iraqis do not know who is actually torturing them and drilling holes in their bodies. We were all awaiting Max Fuller to give us the real culprits. What Max Fuller is telling you folks is to discount what Iraqis who have undergone torture know about their torturer. Namely the Shia Death Squads which consist of Jaysh al Mahdi headed by Muqtada Al Sadr, The Badr Brigades of Al Hakim and the Maghawir Brigades from the ministry of Interior who are now part of the local police and so called Iraqi armed Forces.

But oh no, Max Fuller knows better. He knows better than the Iraqis themselves who is in charge and what the game is all about… What a pack of lies Max Fuller.
Let me ask you, what is exactly your agenda? Come on tell me, I promise I won’t utter a word.
Meanwhile, the Brussels Tribunal ought to reconsider whom it is exactly defending!

So when Hajji Mullah Chossudovsky gives publishing space to a highly sectarian Sadrist under the name of some "doctor" from some Kufa university, who not only praises the Sadrist thugs but also assures the lefties of the blogosphere that Iran is a "sophisticated democracy". Or when he allows someone like Mr Invisible Investigator speak on behalf of the Iraqis and tell the whole world that Iraqis "are not able to perceive" who is behind their torture and rape, what Hajji Mullah Chossudovsky is in fact doing is condoning the killing of Iraqis by Iranian backed puppets called the Sadrists and others who are also engaged in killing members of the IRAQI RESISTANCE who are fighting AGAINST the AMERICAN OCCUPATION.
And don't misquote me now, when I say Iraqi Resistance, I do not mean the despicable Qaeda, another lie that is shoved down your throats.

The same applies to Mr.Lawrence of Arabia, P.Cockburn who has become "plus royaliste que le Roi" endorsing those same thugs cited above. And I shall not say more because P.Cockburn simply gives me the hives.

As for the Nabob Chris Floyd and the clueless Juanito Cole, in almost all of their articles, they insist that:
1) Saddam Hussein's regime "oppressed" Shias and favored the Sunnis which is another blatant lie (but very much in line with the Guru's mantra) and it does not matter how many facts and figures one gives to the Nabob and Co, they have an agenda and wish to pursue it come what may. Arguing that the American occupation is the sole responsible factor for the sectarianism today in Iraq with a fertile terrain laboriously cultivated by the "tyrant" Saddam Hussein.
Needless to say by parroting this long regurgitated propaganda against the "dictatorial regime", and by insisting on what is not true, they are in fact contributing to sectarianism.
Partial truths are cause for sectarianism. Just in case you did not know.

If you want to know what Iraqi society in terms of sects was BEFORE the occupation, you need to ask the Iraqis, your excellencies.
See for instance the very valuable series of correspondence between another “ academic expert” Peter Sluglett and several Iraqis concerning so called "sectarianism" is pre-occupied Iraq.
And it is a must read for all those who wish to have an accurate picture.

As for John le Carre, Kurt Nimmo, he is totally obssessed with a strike on Iran.
I mean here are the two snakes meeting face to face in Baghdad and our John le Carre is already shouting that an imminent strike is about to take place. Joining the chorus of the other "luminaries."

As for Monsieur the Orientalist Troubadour, in an outburst of the most pathetic kind, of a mea culpa sort, tinged with British hypocrisy that we are so used to and if you want to know about British hypocrisy, ask the Iraqis.

Robert Fisk has "suddenly" realized that maybe, just maybe, the West and its journalists, writers and "academics" may be fomenting sectarianism particularly in Iraq and in the Middle East. Oh really Monsieur Fisk? After 30 years of living in the Middle East and being considered the expert "par excellence" did this thought just occur to you now?

So you guys are telling us Iraqis that 1)we do not know what regime we had prior to your occupation 2) that we don't know who is torturing, raping and drilling holes in our bodies 3) that those Iraqis who do "complain" about such practices are not "capable" of true knowledge 4) that you know all about Iraqi sectarianism and that Iraqis who have lived all their lives with each other and intermarried don't.

What arrogance and what racism! So tell me do you know better than this Iraqi woman who was forced to leave EVERYTHING behind and who says:

"The Americans caused so many problems by coming. They’ve damaged everything, the society, the human beings, the buildings, everything. When they came they brought with them people who were involved with Iran. Now, everything in our country is damaged. What a pity. What a pity.

"You know, the Americans said 'we come to liberate you from Saddam,’ but instead they destroyed Iraq. When they killed Saddam we lost more hope. All the Iraqi people would wish the time would turn back, even for one moment to when Saddam was in power, just to feel, even for that moment, what life was like. It didn’t matter if you hated Saddam or liked him, all Iraqis wish for a return to those days..."(full article here)

Or do you know better than Omar's mother and father about the identity of his kidnappers and still no news from him. Or you know better than R. who was sacked from his job by his Dawah employer because R is a sunni and his employer is originally an Iranian? Or maybe you know better than the thousands who are rushing to the Iraqi borders running away from the fascist militias? Or surely you know better than A,S,and D who were kidnapped and raped and tortured by the Al Mahdi Squads because they were "sunni whores"? Or maybe you know better than Auntie S. who married a shia 40 years ago even before Saddam Hussein came to power!

That is it...Keep doing that righteous liberal lefties.
So all eyes can be turned to Iran and the Iraqi genocide goes silently into the background.
The same thing you did when the sanctions were imposed for over 12 years...
The silent death of over a million Iraqis and you cried instead "Dictatorship and Oppression" of "kurds and shi'ites" so as not to look at and detract from the real oppression and dictatorship that you kept so cowardly and complicitly silent about - that of the sanctions.
And you are repeating it all over again, but this time around with more self righteousness and more cockiness.
I bet it will look good on your "academic" CV and if you are lucky enough, someone will give you a prize.

What all these "experts" above have in common is one major trait that unifies them. And that trait is part of the package delivered to us by America and Great Britain. These two started the first lie about Iraq and these “respectable” so called progressives have continued very faithfully in the same footsteps. Using the information given to them and to their governments by the likes of Kanan Makiya,Chalabi and the others exiled in Iran working for Teheran.
Then they come and declare themselves the know it all about Iraq.
Fabricating, exaggerating, deforming, projecting, demonizing, making up, misinforming,twisting, disinforming...about the Iraqi reality.

Enough of your collective lies and Bullshit! We are the ones who have not ceased to pay the price. Starting with the blatant lies of your governments and ending with yours.
Have some shame and if you can't have that, have a least a modicum of intellectual integrity.
But then, even that, seems too much to ask.
Now I remember, of course, we are arab Iraqis. How could I have forgotten that!

Painting: Iraqi artist, Dr. A Al Bashir.

March 9, 2007

A woman's week of Independence...

Today is supposedly International Women's day.
Has anyone stopped to think what this title means exactly?
Have you noticed how they have days for just about everything and everyone...
Mothers day, Fathers day, Friendship day, Lovers day, Workers day, Siblings day, Non smokers day, Vegetarians day, Army day, Independence day, Pets day...And you can just add about anything you want and call it a day.

Have you also noticed how in essays and articles, "they" refer to "women, children and other minorities".
What does it mean "other minorities"? And why should women be lumped with "other minorities"?

Last time I checked, women outnumbered men worldwide. We are indeed well over half of the world's population.
And sometimes when I read those silly articles that refer to women as a minority, I need to pinch me to remind myself that we in fact constitute way above a minority. We are in fact the majority.
What a wonderful way to keep us in a minority mentality and relegate our issues to a secondary position...Ever so reminiscent of being second class.

You see this is where the problem lies. A problem of perception and the use of words...
Take another example - "Empowering women"...

What does that mean empowering women? Why do they need to empower us?
We already have power, we are just not allowed to use it...
The question is not "how" to empower women but "who" took our powers away?
Ask the right question, you will get the right answer.

I certainly don't need anyone to empower me. It is there alright. I dont need some social science consultant getting over 500 dollars a day, to write a treatise on my empowerment.
What I need is that he stops speaking in my name and gets his ass out of my way along with his bosses, his lawmakers, his historians, his politicians, his academics, his clerics...

I think what women need to do is "remove" (I leave you to define the word in a way that is most fitting for you) whomsoever opposes their power...
And whilst at it they need to stop accepting bullshit from men...Any kind of bullshit...And only then can women move away from being "victims" to being captains of their own ships, mistresses of their fate and sail through...And I did not say there will be no storms...

But it does start on the inside. First as personal awareness and asking the right questions...Always ask the right question. And don't beat yourself over the head if you screw up...And by the way, reading women's magazines and crappy romance stories "a l'eau de rose" will not cut it.

Of course you may argue that this is all very nice for bourgeois women what about the impoverished ones? Sorry to disappoint you, but the principle is the same.
The power is already there...deep inside and it manifests itself in a thousand of ways... Grab what is already there and there is plenty of it.
And no, you don't need a Phd to do that.

My grandmother could not read and write but she was powerful...However she was not allowed to exercise her power the way she felt it to be right...And who stood in her way? Men and their laws.

But of course, you are not like these men... And since you care about women so much and today is my day, this is what I suggest to you. We shall exchange roles for a week.
I declare today "International women's week of Independence... from men."
And I invite you to experience it first hand the Iraqi way, the way it is applied in the "new Iraq."
By the way, any similarities to other countries are purely coincidental.

So what do you say? Are you game?
Now, wait a second, don't get me wrong please...I love the opposite due measure that is...
So let us start. For a whole week, you men, are to do as told :

You shall not venture outside the home alone and without permission.
You shall cook, clean, do the laundry, look after the kids, manage a meager budget, do without water and electricity and please if you have any physical complaints, keep them to yourself, no time and no money to see a doctor...
At the end of the day, you are too look good, fresh and wear a pleasant smile and at night you are expected to be enrapturedly amorous with no reservations...
And no, I do not wish to hear about your psychosomatic headaches, back pains and erectility problems.

If you are to venture outside, the conditions are very clear. You are to cover up and when I say cover up, I mean total ninja /tent style cover up.
I don't like those half- assed veils. And no, your tripping on your chador is not my business...I only care about your protection dear.
I do not wish to see any tight trousers, short sleeves shirts and strands of hair showing...
I don't want the neighbors to think I have a loose man around the house...My honor is to be safeguarded at all times...

Needless to say, mingling with other men and sitting in cafes without my permission is out of the question...What will people say or think about my standing in the community ?

And since you are nothing but an extension of my massive inflated spoiled ego, if you do not abide by my laws, I shall impose you on another man.
He can either be a temporary lover sought out through a temporary marriage contract (quite common in the new liberated Iraq) or matter of factly, another husband whom you will have to learn to cohabit with...
After all I am the woman here and the provider. So shut up and bear it.

And since, by the authority bestowed upon me, I am the natural representative of God on earth, I will not only control your body and the way you dress ...
Did you not hear what I just said ? Cover this strand of hair now! Loose man that you are! Why do you insist on behaving like a slut? Have you no shame? Or are you just after your vain, earthly desires?...
That is it, be good so I can always approve of you and be pleased with you...
Sit straight when am talking to you and uncross your legs and keep them tightly closed... and don't interrupt...

As I was saying, since I am God's representative on earth, I also decree that you no longer have any political, legal or economic rights...Yes you heard me right.
What do you need them for? Everything you need is provided for, you are a father, you have your children ... and your natural place...

What did I just hear? In the old regime? Did you say the old regime?
You are longing for the "dictator" huh? You throw away this new sophisticated democracy american - iranian style and you long for the "tyrant"?

Take him away for interrogation, torture him, rape him, drill him and bring him back...
So what do you say now? Are you still longing for the old times when you had rights?

Take it as a warning, next time I catch you rebelling in any way, shape or form, you will be hanged in public from your balls for obstructing public law and order and for terrorising our new found freedom.

Dissent is not allowed in our new democracy...Maliki, Al Hakim and Muqtada Sadr style...a very sophisticated democracy imposed by Teheran and Washington D.C.

And if per chance you are caught fighting for your so called rights and gathering in public places, you shall be taken like your Iranian neighbors and imprisonned and preferably flagellated.

Am I clear now?
Do as I tell you and stop this frown and grimacing in my face, it brings bad luck.
Cheer up you are liberated...Good boy.
Now sing and dance for me and celebrate your manhood in the new Iraq. It is your day after all.

Yalla do it now. I only have a few days left before the week is over.
And please hurry up, before a "sophisticated" Iranian Fatwa bearing an Iraqi stamp - with Sistani's, Hakim's and chubby Muqtada's face (and his drill boys) - on it , lands on my head...
Or what do you think, should I seriously consider seeking political asylum in Siberia?
Do come and visit me there, same time next year and we can celebrate together, my womanhood in exile...on International women's day.

Postscript: I would like to extend my admiration and thanks to several women here. I cannot name all of them but will leave you with a few ...

Paola Pisi , editor of I am yet to see someone as principled and as tirelessly dedicated to the Iraqi cause as Paola. A very rare woman indeed.
Sinfo Fernandez from for taking time and energy to translate some of my posts into spanish in solidarity with the Iraqi people.
K.K. my far away friend who loves Iraq more than the Iraqis themselves.
Ladybird from Roads to Iraq- who is always making sure that her blog is updated with new fresh info from Iraq.
and last but not dearest of all (x) - she knows who she is, my mom for always sticking to Truth, and my wonderful grandmothers (bless their souls) who knew it all...
There are many more but will not be able to mention their names since I did not get "clearance"...Some are online and some are offline. Thank you all and in Solidarity.

Painting: Iraqi artist, Hassan AbdelAlwan

March 8, 2007

A Firework Dance of Red & White....

I don't know know about you but I am a music addict.
I just love music and life without music is like a black and white photo with no chance of color at all. I love all kinds of music except Techno and Heavy Metal.
I don't consider these two to be musical. A cacophony perhaps but not music.

Have you ever tried scratching the bottom of a saucepan with a knife? Well that is heavy metal for me.
And techno is like a disharmonious zigzag in my head. It actually gives me a headache just thinking about it.
But apart from these two reservations, music in general gets my spirit soaring and I do not fear the heights either...
For instance one of my favorite classical pieces is Bach double violin concerto. A genius of a masterpiece for all times.
Since am on the subject of classical music, I played another of my favorites today, a series of Waltz pieces...
Of course the one I can listen to for a whole day and never tire of is D.Shostakovitch no.2 and naturally second in line would be J.Strauss.

Waltz music helps me unwind...
It has something ethereal to it. All the characteristics of air...a breeze if you like, a whiff of a gentle wind...It makes me feel as light as a feather...floating high above...

I reclined comfortably back in my armchair, closed my eyes and let the melody transport me...Each note dancing with the other.
I allowed myself to go with the flow, like a sailing boat with no rudder...
Just perfect...until...

I saw pages from books flying high up, torn pages....white pages...high up like balloons.
Whirling, twirling, swirling in a vertiginous spin ...thousands of them...
And names were raining down like fire drops.
Al Farabi, Al Jahiz, Ibn Khaldun, Ibn Arabi...Voltaire, J.J.Rousseau, Moliere... Shakespeare, D.H Lawrence, Chaucer...and Dante. Droplets of fiery black ink...

And like in a blast of incandescent fireworks, limbs flew into the air...
An arm, a leg, a head, a torso, fingers, feet... sparks of human flesh, bright red...
Mingling with the emptied white pages. Landing heavily, back on the ground,like balls of lead. Piercing through a dark thick curtain of grey caustic smoke, amidst staggering, stunned survivors...
The pages followed through, swaying, touching down and covering the dead...

Yes, It was Al-Mutannabi street (named after a famous poet) which an explosion ripped apart into a blazing inferno three days ago. Over 50 Iraqis dead and more than 150 injured...They were browsing through the books of al-Mutannabi street.

The music continues...

Another explosion propels more into the air. Another gigantic firework of detonated bodies. Over 30 Iraqis dead and countless other injured...They were on a pilgrimage, chanting sacred devotional tunes and that was yesterday.

And today, another in the series of fireworks...
Over 40 Iraqis sitting in a cafe, listening to their favorite song, sipping tea, playing dominoes or backgammon, puffing on their final smoke...blown into tiny pieces, red morsels of flesh... and God knows how many more injured.

And the music continues...

I am now listening to "La Marche Persane" by J.Strauss...which I have renamed "La Marche Americo-Persane"...
Maliki is shaking hands with Bush and Ahmadinajad and framing a few unwanted parliamentarians who are anti-occupation (iranian or american occupation or both?)
Remains to be seen in the next pyromaniacal exhibition of Fireworks.

The music has stopped.

I feel too giddy...My head feels heavy... Must be all this wind coming from the "new" Iraq.
I don't think I will listen to any Waltz again.
Maybe I should settle for Techno - Heavy Metal instead.
I no longer want my spirit elevated into the Iraqi firmament.

Painting: Iraqi female artist, Betool Fekeiki.

March 5, 2007

"Down there" in the dark, dark, Chamber...

Some of you may have noticed, I have not written about Torture per se.
I simply could not.
I have said it before and will repeat it again. I am someone who needs to digest things and find that inner place of partial acceptance.
And Torture is that thing where I have not managed to find that inner place, to digest.
It is simply indigestible...No use trying to force acceptance. I will NEVER accept it.

For the sake of this post, I have watched tens of videos of Abu Ghraib torture.
And this has been going on for two weeks already. And every single time, the emotion is so strong, it paralyzes me...

I had seen them in the past and I have even met a couple of "survivors" and I was unable to conjure up that necessary "lieu" of objective detachment so I can write about it.
Even today, I am not capable of it.

So what you will be getting in the following lines is graphic and crude. As graphic and as crude as the reality of Abu Ghraib brought about by your own hands.

I have deliberately opted not to post any images from Abu Ghraib.
Not because I care about your sensitivities. I, in fact, don't give a fuck about them. But because I respect the bodies of those who were tortured.

And being true to them, I have not posted pictures of their naked bodies parading in front of you. Their bodies are as sacred as the land that gave birth to me.

I need to go down, very that dark, dark place and be with them.
There is no way I can be a simple observer, a spectator...
I need to go through the motions myself and feel it all.
Every single act of blasphemy. Every single instance of humiliation. Every single moment of nakedness. Every single second of torture...
Only then can I relay to you the reality of Abu Ghraib.

And it does take a woman.
Men are too busy hiding behind a false facade of bravado.
As for women, they do not mind showing their innermost vulnerabilities. It is in fact the core center of our strength.
So be prepared...

Down there, in the dark, dark Chamber...where obscurity is partial.
To the watchful seething, ogling eye of the janitor. The blond blue eyed boy who landed in this land already heavily laden with concepts and images.

Fouad Ajami, Bernard Lewis and Raphael Patai were instrumental in "deciphering" the Arab mind. They informed the not so "White House", how Arabs think and feel about sexuality and their bodies.

Raphael Patai, in particular, whom I went to great lengths to read his most tedious book "The Jewish Mind" explains the particularities of the Arab "species."
In contrast naturally, to the Jewish ones who are genetically wired for highly "moral" behavior.
Already this book had me nauseating...wait till you read about the rest...

So armed with this "intimate knowledge" of the "Arab libidinal psyche" a la Fouad Ajami, Bernard Lewis and Raphael Patai (one of Lewis's best friends), your not so great U.S of A went ahead and applied its new found knowledge about the locals, the native "Eye Raqis."
I have always maintained that if you can't spell the damn word, don't use it. But obviously that has not been the case. "N'est ce pas" righteous Left?

To cut a long story short and I urge you to google Patai and Co. Since you love googling everything to give credibility to your life and its epistemological meanings...

Armed with this "inner psychological" knoweldge of the Arab mind...Please do check my Arab mind whilst you are it - it has a few wires missing....Maybe your neo-freudians would be much obliged to analyze my libidinal impulses for me.

Wait a second here...I can already tell them it is telluric...seeping underground like a nasty,vile snake...making its way into the infested damp cells of Abu Ghraib.
A snake amongst roachs and rats.
Yeah, a black snake that will poison you existence...
Lucifer was after all a bearer of Truth. The black truth that your puritanical minds cannot absorb.
The truth about your sadistic sex and kinky orgasms whilst seeing those "lesser", "subhumans" motherfuckers doing it for you...Doing what you cannot do for yourselves...the good God loving, holy people that you are.

Do excuse me if I have to stop every now and then, to throw up. It is all so fresh in my mind.
Some things one never gets used to.

This is a struggle...a torture...trying to write about torture.
I find myself fidgeting on my keyboard. I want to smash the screen. I hold back...I take a few deep breaths...My fingers can't follow...Good Lord how much I need to rip you apart...

I met A. He was sodomized and made to masturbate in front of everyone. He keeps his eyes to the floor when talking. He,then places his hand over his face, looks away and swallows his manly tears...He shuts up.
There is nothing to say. There is everything to say but he can't say anything. He already said it all...

I know you love details. Details turn you into believers. You get high on them.
The intricacies of it all...Enough to make you orgasm.
I will give you details sons of bitches. You want have it from me.
A "subdued","submissive" Arab woman...and see and if you get a hard on later.

Little perverted "voyeurists" that you are...let me give it to you.

Imagine yourself shitting on your favorite toilet bowl. Yeah that is right, take a dump now.
And let me smear your own shit and maybe that of your neighbors over your white reddish pale body.
That is it ...Smell it now...
Here you are tainted with a whole load of brown crap...all over your body.
Now walk up and down the aisle you son of a bitch... crawl now you son of a hooker...
Smell yourself. Stand right there. Don't move. Masturbate for me. Go it...

You can't get a hard on? I will help you, you motherfucker...
Let me call in someone else. Bring H. to the cell.
Now you masturbate you motherfucker, dirty Iraqi. I don't want to see your filthy eyes. Let someone place a bag over this motherfucker's head.
I have now 10 hooded men masturbating for you...And am sitting laid back...smoking a cigarette...

The odor of shit annoys me... but hey I love it. Its kinky...those fucking Eye raqi assholes.
Come her Lynndie let me fuck you and impregnate you in the name of Jesus. I just had a hard on.
She is pregnant...Do you have any regrets Miss? No, none whatsoever.

Wait it gets better in the dark, dark chamber of your mind.

Who is that motherfucker?
I don't know Sir..
Cut him off.

And his penis lies next to him....And you are having another hard on...the best S & M pornography ever...and you have not paid one cent for it...Live from Baghdad.

Who are those whores?
I don't know Sir
Let's have some pussy here
Let me fuck this bitch...
Hey T...R..P... want to have some tight Eyeraqi pussy here?
Yeah Sir, and they drooled and me, the snake, saw their saliva dripping on my head.
I recoiled and watched them doing it...

But sex and masturbation were not enough...

Hey,you EyeRaki Dogs...crawl on four you motherfuckers...that's it...bring the leash. In the name of Jesus...we have the truth and we are saved. Let him soak in his own piss..
This is one ugly motherfucker...cover his fucking face with his shit underwear.
Yes Sir.
I want those motherfuckers to die slowly...ha ha ha
Say Jesus, you son of a whore!
Ok, you can finish him off
How Sir?
Hmm wait let me see...Darling...come on over her ..what turns you on most?
Let's see darling, those infidels...shred them to coming now....
In the name of the Lord ...Let him crawl like a "dawg". Let the other inmates fuck him and shoot into the infidel motherfucker...Yeah finish off that "dawg" now...
Oh darling, am in rapture now...Lord Jesus...come into my heart now!

Ms Kapinsky? (or whatever your fucking name is...I wont google bitch) It was not my fault.

Our boys are good...really good...Blame it on PTSD.
HBO just ran a program on how good and innocent they are...deep down in the dark dark chamber...of your mind.
Arab wankers orgasmed at the genius of it all...Check the blogs....the fucking

Our boys are good...they made them do need to understand about social psychology...they made us do it...yeah that is right.

Here am I am shiverrrrrrrrrrrrrrring with PTSD and they made me do it.

When I could not rape and could not make ayrabs masturbate...When I could not place electrical pods to their genitals...when Abeer was too much of a give away...
I retreated back into PTSD.

What I did instead, and please tell me Mister Shrink if am still ok...or not?
I took the brains of dead iraqis and froze them in my refrigerator...Do you think that is ok?
Were they dead Son?
Sure they were Doc. I made sure they were gone.
Hmm...let us see here... DSM4....yeah that is ok's only PTSD
Gee thanks Doc..I was a little worried here.
Nothing to worry about Son, you were under a lot of stress that is all...Liberation is precious. Liberation is hard work.
God bless you Sir.
God bless you my Son...
Jesus is so forgiving, so's only an Eye Raqi brain that you kept as trophy of your bravery...chill out ...Jesus loves you.

Abeer, my darling of a girl Abeer.
Please forgive me for not writing earlier. I simply could not.
And trust, that is taking me all the courage in the world to address you.

You are as sacred if not more than the womb that gave birth to me.
I know you were your prime, when you left us.
You are a symbol...and I even feel ashamed saying that.
I am like the Abu Graib prisoner hiding his face and looking onto the floor...
I hide my shame from you...
Do forgive me.

Abeer, your pictures were posted everywhere.
I don't need your picture.
I heard how it happened.
They turned you on your stomach so they don't have to face your eyes, your face.
And the sons of a whore said you squirmed and screamed...
You heard shot guns in the room, next door
and they took turns raping you...

They had planned it
You were nothing but an eye raqi
a hole
a tight vagina
for the good prime boys
of America
Their hatred of you
went deeper...
You heard the gun shots
next door
they finished them off
and you still squirmed...
but you are nothing
in their eyes
just a hole
a virgin hole
They took turns
the blond blue eyed brave ones
the sons of lamenting mothers...
You were nothing but a hole Abeer.
Am sorry to put it that way to you.
They tied your legs,
and without even looking into your eyes
they shot you in the brains.
Then they set you on fire...

Abeer my little one...
You were a thing,like the oil well...
you were nothing but a source of abundance...
a hole in the ground...
that they had to appropriate.
They will burn us all...
And the arab wankers will masturbate to their victory...
HBO said so.
They laughed and applauded.
Abeer, I took the shame onto myself
am hiding from you now.

Abeer, and Abu Ghraib prisoners, am sorry...
I am only a woman...a snake sometimes...and I change skins lest the turbaned ones find out about me.
And am very sorry.
I now cover my face, just like you did...down there, in the dark, dark chamber of their Minds.

Painting: Iraqi female artist, Betool Fekeiki