Occupied...



There are days when I wake up in the morning, I feel a lump stuck in my throat.
I know from intimate observation, that it tends to form during the night and bloom in the morning like a budding flower that needs light to open up...Except in my case, it is not a flower or anything resembling a flower...it is just a lump.

I try to swallow, but I feel my swallowing as if obstructed. The lump feels like a bloc of cement, a wall of concrete...

I reach out for the glass of water that I keep by my bedside, I take small sips and feel the water zigzaging through the cement wall, like a gentle leak trying to seep through whatever cracks it finds...

I clear my throat, I cough a little, and take more sips of water, hoping to dissolve that stone...

As the day proceeeds, I feel the stone move into my plexus, and lodge there until evening...

I eat something, hoping my stomach enzymes will disintegrate it, only to have it move further down in my belly, by evening time...

By night, I consciously try to push it down, only to feel it embed in my pelvis...

I push harder as in some labour pangs, push harder and harder but no delivery is forthcoming...there is nothing to give birth to.

Then I realize, I 've just lived through yet another day of Occupation.


Painting: Iraqi artist, Mohammed Sami.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Are you even in Iraq? When is the last time you actually saw a US soldier?
Anonymous said…
Is the name Greg from USA banned? I could not post under that name - I tried several different ways. If you don't want me to post, just say so - I understand that the truth can be difficult to bear...
Anonymous said…
greg from the US of my A.

You are not important enough to ban...
You obviously can't work through the "logistics" of blogs.
Angel said…
Hello Layla,

The lump in your throat, is called 'globus histericus', it's a spasm. The only thing that helps is fluid. Food makes you choke. It's stress related.

Stay Safe.
Anonymous said…
No words, Layla, just sharing the pain. Take care.

In solidarity.
Anonymous said…
Heh! Leyla. Wow! Great prose, as always! You are creating a new type of literature. It is a pity you cannot be more fitfully occupied. A danger in each word. A cluster bomb in each sentence. Paragraphs of anguish.

Unusual to have a post not blaming Satanic American GIs being responsible for Arab Iraqi muslim violence - are you ok?

Angel. The lump is figurative. Get a grip. Fluid for stress. Are you thinking Bourbon?
Anonymous said…
Hello from France.
Please read my blog:http://ambatill.blog.lemonde.fr/
Take care.
Angel said…
Steen

I know it's figurative, I've been blogging here for about a year.
Anonymous said…
I admire your courage, your strength.
I wish all that happens there could finally come to an end...
Be safe, take care,
G., from France.
Anonymous said…
Layla's mind is "occupied". Occupied with thinking she is suffering like real Iraqies. She has no job, no responsibilities. Someone pays her bills..must be nice...and then she complains that she has to stand in a queue!!! Poor Baby!!! Most of us have to WORK for a living...all day long! Real people don't have time to sit around all day and night obsessed by a single issue to the exclusion of all others...even Iraqies. Then she tries to equate her life to those of Iraqies suffering the daily humiliation of occupation…and she doesn’t even live the life of a refugee!!!

One thing I wonder is why is she so afraid to stand up and be counted? She has all this righteous indignation and anger but hides like a little mouse behind this blog of hers. So Uruknet picks her stuff up...big deal. Instead of using her talent to really try to make a difference and reach the people who need to hear her she sits here preaching to the choir. She obviously has something to hide.

Tell me Layla, have you no shame?
Anonymous said…
response to Emily,

When one is in a war, one does not throw their best soldier out to be hung, dried and quartered, and you know this very well. So piss off before you get some bullets in your bloomers and get back to your trench on the other side.
Anonymous said…
Well said, Bluegum!! Emily's pontificating here, and assuming to talk on behalf of 'all' Iraqiis when she says that only Layla seems to be 'obsessed on a single issue to the point of exclusion of everything else'...How many Iraqi views have you had to make that observation, Emily? Try living in an occupied and devastated country, Emily - you have the PRIVILEGE of being able to go to work and get a salary, and not have to worry about anything else...Iraqis do not enjoy that luxury and would give anything to be in your shoes to just work all day, as you claim to do. 70% of the Iraqi nation is jobless; the 30% which manages to get out to work never knows whether it's their last day on Earth. For many of them, sadly this is the case.

I think that what bothers many who come here is Layla's writing which doesn't beat around the bush but say it as it is. Often, the responses are as a result of the 'cap fitting'...

Many assumptions being made by you, Emily.
Angel said…
Emily, sorry, have never been a choir girl.

What's it like?
Anonymous said…
Layla doesn't live in an occupied country does she? I was talking about her, not IRAQIES. I wasn't talking about the ones suffering under occupation or the real refugees...Can't you read?

Notice nobody had anything to say about the second paragragh.

Bluegum, your response cracks me up...

I wasn't suprised to see you two respond. Seems like this blog is what you devote all your time to as well. Nothing in the real world to do? It's nice layla has two lap dogs ready to jump to her defense all the time. But like a couple of chihuahuas, you're nothing but a couple ankle biters.
Anonymous said…
Emily, your venom is showing through! We may be chihuahuas (Bluegum and I), but at least we've made a definite stand based on PRINCIPLES, unlike some FISHWIFE. And, unlike you, it's obvious that we don't just visit Layla's blog but do have adequate knowledge about Iraq to agree with what Layla's saying. Bitchiness is certainly not our stock in trade! Are you jealous of Layla, perhaps?

By the way, are you Layla's neighbour or something? Considering you seem to know WHERE she lives???! And what do YOU know about Iraqis (please note the spelling) either in Iraq or as refugees? So, in other words, you're claiming YOU know more about Iraqis in Iraq and outside than Layla does?

As for your second paragraph, which you've pointed out, how on Earth do you know if Layla isn't doing anything else apart from this blog? Are you her keeper? Don't you think Iraqis have enough keepers for now?

Be a good girl, Emily, and go crawl under your rock where you belong.
Anonymous said…
yeah , you make a stand here in fantasy internet world. In the comment section of a blog maybe a few thousand people read. You make no different. You and bubblegum are just hot air. You don't even have layla's talent as a writer. Join the real world and really DO SOMETHING.

If Layla was doing anything else, we would know about it. Her ego is too big to let it go unmentioned.

PS: FYI I am in contact with REAL IRAQIES in Iraq, yes that is how they spell it in their letters to me. I know of their real resistance victories in Iraq directly from them. I don't need to hear your and Layla's second hand news...and by the way, none of them have even heard of her.

So go on, you live under a rock yourself. Your rock is the comment section of this little blog.
Anonymous said…
emily is typical run of the mill, below average american.
had she known anything about iraqi displaced persons, she'd know that they're not allowed to work.
Anonymous said…
Well said, anonymous! The clown seems intent on trying to disprove Layla (who is IRAQI (note spelling, please, again!)) on the basis that she's in touch with REAL IRAQIS - only via letters! I never knew there were 'unreal' Iraqis!

Best to ignore this, as you aptly call her, run-of-the-mill BELOW AVERAGE INTELLIGENCE Usan.

You are definitely JEALOUS of Layla, dear Emily - it's screaming in your posts. Not accustomed to an intelligent Iraqi/Arab woman, right? I haven't noticed Layla's ego, and I've 'known' her for a while now.

Oh, and, by the way, I (and I'm sure Bluegum) are not here to compete with Layla's writing skills - I am perfectly aware, humbly, that I could never reach up to her level of writing, which is truly superior, but that's not what this is all about. Besides, you know nothing of any one of us who post here, and, again, make assumptions. Your aim to discredit Layla will get you nowhere. Iraqis in Iraq do not need to know Layla: she speaks on their behalf and that's enough - the content of your 'letters to Iraqis', if they really exist, is obvious from this comment - gossip, gossip, gossip, right? Inquisitive character... Just dying to know who/where/what Layla is, right? Keep searching!

In solidarity Layla.
Anonymous said…
"Little Deer",

It does not matter what or who Layla is, it only matters if she is truly an Iraqi. Why? Because she claims to speak for Iraqis. By her posts, she sounds like a privileged Iraqi at best. How many Iraqis can afford to travel in and out of the country? When she talks about her travels, I picture a suitcase of money in her hand, but only being carried on the way out of Iraq. Over at Iraq the Model, they would post pictures that definitely look like they are from Iraq (or at least not New Jersey) - for example: http://iraqthemodel.blogspot.com/2007/03/midnight-company.html

Layla should enjoy that post - the night they were searched by American troops.

For all we know, Layla is a 16 year old smart kid from New Jersey - but the terrorist inciting hate propaganda Layla creates is very real.

Something just doesn't add up.

In closing, the Sunnis of Anbar were considered heroes by their countrymen for mounting a very effective insurgency against the US, killing thousands of our men. However I would bet that few of them would claim to HATE EVERY SINGLE AMERICAN, they just loved their family and country. When Al Qaeda proved to be hell monsters, the Sunnis woke up and started talking to the Americans. Talk led to understanding and trust. Now they work together with the US.

If the Sunnis ever bought into propaganda being peddled on this blog, Anbar would be owned by Al Qaeda and the Sunnis would be using their left hand to pick up their severed right hand to have a smoke.

Greg from USA
Anonymous said…
Dear Layla,

I hope that you don't interpret this as sarcasm. I wish you a very happy Nowruz as well as felicitate you with the Birth of The Prophet (PBUH). Since I last wrote a comment on your blog, I have to admit that I have informed myself better and have learnt that indeed some Shiite Iraqis as well as some Iranians are in cahoots with the Bushit Neoconservascist Occupiers and have indeed engaged in acts of mass murder. I wish that the new year brings more peace and harmony and less murder and treason. I wish that the New Year would give you back your home and compensate the orphans of Iraq. I wish that the Shiite Iraqis, in the new year, are wise enough not to be used by the colonizer, one against the other. One think that we all excell in is the way we have learnt through generations to liberate ourselves from coloialism. I wish that the American people open their eyes and bring to justice the Neo-Conservascist liars who brought them dishonour, debt, murder, paranoia and are walking towards more disaster. I know that these soothing words are a mere drop, truely inadequate, on a hot plate of injustice. I will promise that in the New Year, I will do even more my best to advertise your people's suffering and remind humanity that we have an obligation towards you all as we have broken your lives. I hope that the New Year will bring you strenght to continue and even more strenght to forgive me for my past inaction.

Yours sincerely, Amir
An Iranian Immigrant from Europe In US.
Anonymous said…
Greg,

Why is it that Layla's origin, whether she is truly Iraqi or not, is being questioned? Those of us who CHOOSE to come here, do so of our own free will, either to share or to be educated, and certainly NOT to question the authenticity of the owner. On my part, and some here are welcome to call me all kinds of names, I know and trust that Layla is Iraqi (and this issue has never crossed my mind in all the time I've been a guest on her blog).

For heaven's sake, US leaders have blatantly lied and lied and lied, and these lies have been swallowed, hook, line and sinker. Why no questions there, Greg? Why the double standards? In addition, the suitcases laden with money (belonging to Iraqis) have been carried out by the tons by the USans over the past five years (corruption began on the day they stepped on Iraqi soil - not forgetting how much was siphoned off during the sanction years) - and all this has been documentd; not forgetting priceless ancient artifacts stolen from Iraq's museums.

Perhaps you'd best use your energy in trying 'to add' all this and making it right?

Amir, your post is touching...I pray that all of us the world over, find a way of making Peace among ourselves and spreading Love, always keeping sight of Justice and Truth, irrespective of our race or creed. It really is the ONLY way.
Anonymous said…
Amir,

Better late than never...praise to God for your awakening.

However, it's not "some" Iranians as in "a few rotten apples", it's the whole damn Persian imperialist machine that is fucked-up to the backbone.

The rare birds of sound mind and heart among you gotta make a counter-revolution and replace the crazy turbaned mummies with some decent humanistic secular government that would mind the country's own business and leave the neighbors alone.

It's time to throw that old anachronistic wet dream of taking over Mesopotamia/Iraq in the dustbin of history.

Best wishes.
Anonymous said…
american 'woman' and greg and other shit for brains Americans:

We'll see how long your smug, fat faced MacDonald's bloated smiles last when your economy implodes and you're competing with the other gun-toting slope-browed hicks for scraps of food on your filthy streets, killing each other for a few gallons of gas. I hope your guns are loaded.
Read the papers on what passes for an economy in your fascist kleptocracy today?
The rest of the world can't wait for the end of your pathetic little excuse for an imperialist country and no one including us Canadians will do anything but piss over the border on you as you beg.
You time is coming you useless bunch of oxygen wasters.
What goes around comes around and we will all shout with joy as your useless, dangerous,uneducated, moronic, wasteful, arrogant, hubristic police state crumbles.
Anonymous said…
Well, well, as we see, the truth on this site brings the enemy out like rats to a cheese. They are all in our sights here. The Gregs,the Emily's the Steins. They stand out like a country dunny.

And just like their fellow USA/Israel/Iranian terrorist mates,this crew would love to to blow Layla's head off.

Just like their US mates who blew the 6 year old Iraqi girls head off when she took some of her meagre rations over to give to give to USA Private Joshua Keys from Oklahoma when he was in Iraq.

That is why he came back and told the
"truth" read "The Deserters Tale" Why I walked away from the war in Iraq.

When we size up the US 'hillbilly squadron' enemy here, it is easy to understand why the US empire is in its death throes.

One can easily imagine Emily enjoying herself in the torture chambers of Abu-Ghraib - firing all her questions at Layla in between the cigarette burns.

And by the way Emily in this part of the world, when people ask too many questions we usually call them
"Sticky Beaks". Oh! look folks see Emily's beak sticking out of her trench behind the enemy lines!

Eh! and I'd watch your bloomers if I were you Emily!
Layla Anwar said…
Hiya Angel,

Welcome back...
Steen is right, the lump is figurative, and since you knew it, why did you mention liquids?
I am always stressed Angel...
Layla Anwar said…
Steen,

Yes am ok, are you? Or is the hitting on the Americans driving a point or two home?
Layla Anwar said…
Hello G,

Thank you for your kind words
Regards
Layla Anwar said…
Hiya Little Deer,

lolololololololololol....She shines through...
God bless.
Layla Anwar said…
lol "(with) bluegum...
Emily is our true national resistance fighter who stands up with the real IRAQUIES.
Layla Anwar said…
bluegum,
by the way I left you a note on the Weaker sex re.Syria.
Layla Anwar said…
Hello Amir,

And thank you for your good wishes...and happy Mawled Nabawee to you too...
Dare I say Happy Nowruz ?
I used to celebrate Nowruz with my kurdish friends...I even used to place the 7 items starting with S --Sundus, Sakkeh, Sebzi...etc
but I've stopped.
The "new year" first day of spring is too "coincidental" with the first day of the invasion and falls smack on Mother's day in the Middle East and in Iraq.
And Iraqi mothers and children don't have much to celebrate for and with...
So I agree with anonymous below your comment, you said it is high time to debunk and unravel the next door mullah machine.
Regards.
Layla Anwar said…
sorry error.
It's not anonymous -- it's anti khomeinist.
Layla Anwar said…
canadian cracks me up LOL
Layla Anwar said…
Don't know why Emily reminds me of Lynndie England...
Anonymous said…
I have not said one word against Iraqies and you have me torturing people in Iraqi prisons. I have not said one word in support or the USA in any way. I have not written anything disputing any of Layla's posts on the condition of the people in Iraq. Please point out anything I have said in this reqard.

You know it's just that Layla's style SOMETIMES irritates me. I admit what I said was too nasty and I wrote what I did in like two minutes without rereading it before I sent it. I really should apologize to all for it. It's just that I am a little closer to this issue than I should probably say.
I know exactly what is going on in Iraq and I don't like it when someone who is not there tries to imply they are suffering as much as they are.

My mother is the daughter of an Iraqi diplomat in the government during the 80's and 90's. Yes, one of Saddam's LOYAL diplomats. Gee, bubblegum, I guess that makes me Iraqi. My Grandfather was murdered shortly after the invasion. About 14 relatives are dead so far and 6 are missing. 2 of the dead are my 4 and 6 year old nieces. They were killed "accidently" in an American airstrike. Don't tell me I don't know rage and hate against America. Thankfully, my mother and father are not in Iraq now. My father, who is American - therefore a lowlife scum of a human being according to you - has done more to coordinate "assets" covertly to the Iraqi peoples resistance than most Iraqies.

I know what is next. You will call me a liar. That's just as well. If my parent were to see this...that is what what they would want to see.

So peace to you Layla, Bluegum and Little Deer.

In Solidarity
Anonymous said…
www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mmNGjKYZfM

A message of peace but I am afraid Bush and Cheney have become deaf by now through the sounds of their own exploding weapons as more bombs have been dropped on Iraq than on any other country in the history of mankind.
Angel said…
Layla, figurative.

I know you are always stressed. DU poisened water. If that makes sense?
Anonymous said…
WARNING

Do NOT fall for the Emily ploy...to fucking obvious.
Anonymous said…
"Little Deer",

It does not matter what or who Layla is, it only matters if she is truly an Iraqi. Why? Because she claims to speak for Iraqis. By her posts, she sounds like a privileged Iraqi at best. How many Iraqis can afford to travel in and out of the country? When she talks about her travels, I picture a suitcase of money in her hand, but only being carried on the way out of Iraq. Over at Iraq the Model, they would post pictures that definitely look like they are from Iraq (or at least not New Jersey) - for example: http://iraqthemodel.blogspot.com/2007/03/midnight-company.html

Layla should enjoy that post - the night they were searched by American troops.

For all we know, Layla is a 16 year old kid from New Jersey - but the terrorist inciting hate propaganda Layla creates is very real.

Something just doesn't add up.

The Sunnis of Anbar were considered heroes by their countrymen for mounting a very effective insurgency against the US, killing thousands of our men. However I would bet that few of them would claim to HATE EVERY SINGLE AMERICAN, they just loved their family and country. When Al Qaeda proved to be hell monsters, the Sunnis woke up and started talking to the Americans. Talk led to understanding and trust. Now they work together with the US.

If the Sunnis ever bought into propaganda being peddled on this blog, Anbar would be owned by Al Qaeda and the Sunnis would be using their left hand to pick up their severed right hand to have a smoke.

Greg from USA
Anonymous said…
response to greg usa
George Orwell believed that omission was the worst form of lying. Your last comments are full of them. And should be treated with the contempt they, and you deserve.

From the time you took the lead in responding to Layla's written piece “Occupation” through to your last comments, you have told us all there is to know about you. Your are the demoniser, the bombastic, the arrogant, the messenger of phooey, the liar, the “Ugly American”, the USA enemy of everything that is humane and decent.

So you too piss of and go and join Emily in her trench!

response to Layla
Yes, Layla , Emily has merely retreated for the time being. No doubt she will return back from the enemy barracks with a new name and a new slant.
Anonymous said…
oh yes. As Arnold would say, "I'll be back"

You guys are so funny...you little ankle biter!
Anonymous said…
Great Article Layla .
Angel said…
Hi Layla,

I have been busy looking at other opinions on Iraq, as you probably know. We are all different, so we expect different opinions, it's human nature.

But, why do they have to be so damn arrogant? That's why they have gained reputations as LMY, and it does them no favours.
Anonymous said…
Layla, an instinct tells me that Emily (the Iraqie!) and 'American woman' on your other blogs are one and the same person. And I connect both these to a certain character who visited you for a while some time last year (I forget what name she used then) - it's how 'she' spells 'Iraqie'. Last year's version went off in a huff, after a lot whining, after she got told off by many posters, similar to what's happening now. Do you remember? It was around the time Savage was here, too, and Jr. and Daphne. I think she's back with a 'new' name!

In solidarity.
Anonymous said…
Angel,

I refuse to believe you seriously value Mojo's persecution maniacal hallucinations as "other opinions on Iraq".

Tell me you don't NOW.
Anonymous said…
Layla, when are you going to get married again ?
Angel said…
Mind Boggled

I know that is you B. I'm too busy crying.
Anonymous said…
Yep, I was right little fear, this blog comment sectionis your whole pathetic life isn't it? Who is Emily? She is so and so.. She can't be who she says she is...a real Iraqi would love me and want to be my friend. Grow up little girl. Unlike you, I remember the Iraq Layla is talking about in her new entry.

PS: I am "American Woman" hahaha That's rich!!!

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