Extreme Makeover...

I need to be relooked, made over...

I need to be revamped, refurbished, reshaped, remodeled, redone - All brand new.

I need a new wardrobe, new shoes, new furniture, new home, new car, new eyes, new body, new blood...A new heart.

I need a new passport, a new identity, a new name, a new nationality, a new language...

I need a new map, new borders, a new flag, a new country...

I need a new land, new neighbors, new people, new faces...

Someone find me a plastic surgeon. A surgeon for the heart, the mind, the soul...

Someone find me a musician who can play a tune I've never heard before.

I need a new song, a new melody, a new rhapsody...

Someone find me a new medical invention, a potion, a magical pill that will erase it all ....

Give me a new bag of new memories...

Anything , give me anything, away from the "new" hideous "people" of Iraq.

Anything, give me anything away from the "New" Iraq.

Painting: Iraqi Artist, Qais Al-Sindi /the Iraqi Flag.2007


Anonymous said…
Are you so alone in your feeling of the times ?

Have you no kindred souls where you live now, relatives, friends, a lover, who have known and loved Iraq as much as you did and suffer from its Occupation as much as you do, with whom to share the Chaos and elaborate Re-Creation strategies ?
Anonymous said…
ya leila where do you live?
do you live in Iraq?
why are you torturing yourself everyday?
you are not responsible for what's going on in Iraq
why don't you join some charity work to relief the enoromous amounts of pain you have inside you!
you are a very special lady with a very kind heart
please stop beating your self up
please for the sake of everything beautiful left on this earth

Anonymous said…

1) Cut your hair short(er)

2) Bandage your breasts/heart as tightly as you can

3) Put on men's clothes

4) Put on a false moustache or (sigh...) beard

5) Take up a gun

6) Go underground

7) Win back Iraq/life or die

P.S. But if you could manage to keep that little precious sparkle of Hope in you alive and keep warming up this reptile-like cold-blooded humanity with your soulful prose, it would not be bad either ;-)
Anonymous said…
This was an article in the guardian about the islamic army teaming up with the U.S. army to fight al-qaida.


i don't understand. is this not the true iraqi resistance that you were talking about before? or is the journalist lying? Journalist do that sometimes.

anonymous 1
Anonymous said…
JR, remember that one day you'll die...
Anonymous said…
how long can you go on with the current state of Iraq as your mental focal point? There's only so much one can tolerate. I have a tendency to shrink into my own world when the 'real world' gets to be too hectic. I think psychiatrist call it 'compartmentalizing' or blocking out. Maybe you should focus on the positive things that interest you, such as poetry, art etc. You wouldn't be leaving "arab woman blues", just doing something more positive for a while, changing skins so to speak. You can always come back to AWB. It will never be dead, it's too good. Your passion for Iraq is never in doubt, actually you taking a break from AWB would be our loss, not yours.

-AWB Fan
Anonymous said…

Why not put up some google ads, a bit of money cuts into the pain of any make over :)


Also should be in your blog's dashboard.

I'm not a robot and will not be upset if you skip it, but give it a try and I hope your blog makes enough money for you to at least cover your time on it.

>>Someone find me a new medical
>>invention, a potion, a magical
>>pill that will erase it all ....

Please try the Quran, it worked to remove the Romans and Persians out of Iraq the last time - part of why they both still hate it :)

Angel said…
Hello Layla,

I'm sure there will be a million and one Iraqi's in search of a make over, joining you. No magic pills though.

Although the US managed to give the "old" Iraqi's a bitter pill to swallow, they are swallowing their own pills now.

The "in debt up to their necks" China Pill, the "mortgage market collapse" pill, the "world hates us" pill,and the biggest pill of all, the "humiliated" pill, which they haven't managed to swallow yet.

Maybe they will choke on the latter?
Anonymous said…
From Sweden.

"War is for itself, only. Wars of freedom against tyranny, warrior codes of chivalry and courageous self-sacrifice...these are human derivates, accidental results of war´s basic inhumanity, not war´s own intentions, because war is in essence sui generis, autonomous, inhuman." (-James Hillman, A terrible love of War)

With my own father driven into the german war machine between 1942 - 1945, as a Wehrmacht soldier, sitting in a tank in the baltic woods, and with his quasi jewish background, with relatives as refugees in other european countries, or already killed in camps etc
I say quasi because today I sincerly believe there is not such a thing as being jewish, being swedish, being pakistani etc - someone made it up for you the moment you were born - how else would you know? With other words, as soon you learn a language, you were lead into the human world of history - and there´s where all the division takes place.
And there´s where War is waiting for its bid...

But ideas exist. They are the ones who throws us into the horrific storms of wars. But some are more thrown in than others - how come?

Why Iraq? Why Palestine? Why Afghanistan?

Is it enough to say that the reason for this places being "choosen" is economical, because geopolitical strategies and bla bla bla!?

I would say it is because there is people on this earth heavily thinking they are the Supreme, the Rulers, the ones with the biggest collective ego- boost machine, refined through centuries, millenias - the Oppressors.

And the Oppressors behave like ghosts. Wherever they might "live".
And as soon as "a people" become superior to any other group, they will, inevitably, transform themselves into the ghosts of mankind.
And that wardobe of silently screaming Ghosts is getting pretty full by now...

I saw a video clip recently, an interview with an older Iraqi man, saying beforethe invasion they had never talked in terms of Shia or Sunni, they naturally married over confessional lines etc etc

And the UK TV journalist went on talking about "a sectarian war", named people only after there religious group; whether this person either was "Sunni" or "Shia" etc - and the journalist didn´t seem to realize that by doing so she actually enforced the so called sectarian division in our common human consciouness.
Put it there as a basic Truth.

But it is not.

To all of You.
Layla Anwar said…

Hello. I avoid Iraqis like the plague. I never know who they're really working for and some of them dissimulate their true political views. As for relatives and family. We are kind of scattere all over for the time being.
The few people I consider close and trust, well when we do get together it's really nothing but venting episodes.
I don't think that people on the outside really appreciate what has happened to the Iraqis.

Have you ever seen a pot made of clay or fine porcelain smashed into a thousand pieces? And you can use the best glue ever, it is impossible to mend it.

You talk of recreating a new thing.
I am all for it. Find me a few good ones who are willing to put their private, sectarian, personal agendas aside and I will join them.

They don't exist for the time being. Apart from a very scattered few here and there.

I read the other day on some iraqi blog - someone considered a so called patriotic iraqi by other iraqis like "Truth about Iraqis" (who no longer blogs) and this guy goes by the name of "24 steps to liberty."

In his comment section, he said textually.

We thank the americans for having liberated us but they should have not stayed on and occupied us.

For God's sake how can anyone make an alliance with such wimps with no backbones?
Layla Anwar said…
To M,

Thanks for your concerns.
Kindly spell my name correctly. It is Layla and not Leila. My name is important for me.

Aside from that. Who told you am not involved in "charity work". I am and they happen to be other Iraqis. You should come and see for yourself their destitution. Maybe you will alleviate the torturing in the process.
Layla Anwar said…
makeover adviser,

thanks for your extreme makeover tips.

I guess you know how I feel about beards - not a chance for me to grow one. Besides I lack the right amount of male testerone to carry a gun.

I think I shall stick to "prose".
Layla Anwar said…
anonymous re.guardian article.

I read it. This is the new American strategy copied from the Anbar "success story" and which seems to mark the new policy of winning over the sunnis or at least part of them.

Abu Abed in the article is NOT the Resistance.

It is true, that Ameriya had known some very violent fights between part resistance, part AQ, against the shia govt militias. Ameriya and it was not reported in the press has known some gruesome killings by the shia militias.

I personally believe and this belief is shared by a few other iraqis namely sunnis - that AQ is working for the Americans and for the occupation. I also believe that AQ is also working for Iran.

They have been instrumental in paving the way for this new American policy of grass root "reconciliation". The Americans are desperate to have a "success" story - since we all know that Iraq is in total shambles now. They the occupier want to come across now as the Saviors of Iraq. An old ploy.

There will be no reconciliation unless they are preparing for a FEDERAL reconciliation which is the case. Hence AQ comes in handy as yet another pawn in the partition process.
Layla Anwar said…
AWB Fan,

Hello. No one has called themselves an AWB fan before. It kind of cute :-)

You are right. I need some distance. I remember reading about a female author who wrote a novel on Germany during WWII and the horrors of the concentration camps.
She did not understand why she ended up with a nervous breakdown a year later. Of course she would -recounting horrors is a depressing task.

So you can imagine what I feel when I write what I write with the only difference and a major one - it is happening NOW - as we speak.

I can chose to turn a blind eye for a while. But I don't have it in me. I not turned a blind eye since I was child - As a matter of fact my first collage at the age of 12 or so was about the Vietnam war. I have kept this collage till this very day. I was no Asian and I've never been to Asia either. But still the magazines that my dad kept with all the pictures was enough for me to leave the dolls and start a collage on napalmed burned kids.

I could not turn a blind eye then- I don't see how I can do it today, now, that MY country not some Vietnam is suffering an even worse fate.

But I do do other things. I do paint even though am not as good as I would like to be. And I have another blog which is not about occupation per se but is still related. - Unsencored Arabwomanblues. It's on this blog too. You need to click under view profile and scroll down to the second blog.

By the way do you know of any good spa for "my break" that is not too expensive? I can do with some soaking in mineral water and a couple of massages.
Layla Anwar said…
Hi Snoozer,

I can't put ads for google. First I don't know how. Second I don't do blog rolls either for the same reason. Third I am a "purist" of a blogger

The Koran is good. I am having a bit of a fall out with "God" for the time being. Or let's say am having a bit of a "fall out" with muslims - that will be more accurate. Or let's say am having a bit of a fall out with the world that would be even more accurate.
Layla Anwar said…
Hiya Angel,

You are the in house witch from Assyria. Can you please do one of your magical tricks that they choke on it much faster. Kind of a waterboarding pill ? Thanks.
Layla Anwar said…
From Sweden,

Thanks for your thoughtful comment.
I agree that geopolitics and economics are NOT the only determining factors. IDEAS are ALSO part of the War game.

I also agree one cannot help being born Swedish, American, Iraqi or Palestinian. These are for me Destinies that one carries along with one's own personal destiny.
It's called the collective Destiny of a people.

I will not go into how I feel about this spiritual theory of collective destinies and what purpose it fulfills. But I do believe it is there and does serve a purpose.

I also believe that "wars" are a spiritual test. They test how far one can remain stuck in their own collective clan of ideas/race/beliefs/country and how far one can actually move beyond it. It is a perverted way of calling for our greater Humanity which goes beyond ideas, race, country...

And on all accounts, am sorry to say that most Americans and their Western cohorts have terribly failed to heed that call. Hence more will be perpetrated on behalf of their names, their ideals, their beliefs, their countries...etc on the "lesser" people.

But universal laws are as such that this WILL NOT go unaccounted for. Of that am 100% certain.

As for Iraq and sunnis shias.
This old Iraqi man was correct. WE intermarried for centuries....
Until the occupier American and sectarian shia Iran came and cut through the honeymoon marriage.

It was good for them. WE were not reflecting their own shadows of sectarianism, chauvinism, racism, and oppression.

I am sad to add that the Shias in Iraq those who call themselves "believers" ie. as opposed to "secular" have also contributed to the divorce.

May whatever has prompted them inside themselves, like hatred, jealousy, envy, insecurities, evilness be multiplied by a 1000 folds - to the point of auto destruction. And that WILL HAPPEN.
Again am 100% certain.
Anonymous said…
"Find me a few good ones who are willing to put their private, sectarian, personal agendas aside and I will join them."

There are those who simply never had such thing as "private, sectarian, personal agendas", and still believe in a united, free and progressive Iraq and fight for it.

They may be "few" compared to other, younger and more "fashionable" currents, especially since some very radical (and very healthy) "weeding" within their ranks occurred in the early post-invasion period, but as to experience, knowledge and understanding of the deep, true spirit of the Iraqi Nation, no one can beat them.

"Join" is a big word...but you might want to give it the benefit of the doubt and a "chance"; if nothing else, upon trust in a certain someone who devoted his whole existence to it...

Keep up the good work.

My warmest regards.
Anonymous said…
"24 Steps to Liberty" a patriotic Iraqi blog ??? !!!

Oh good Lord help us...
Anonymous said…
"I lack the right amount of male testosterone to carry a gun."

Still you do have much bigger "balls" than the 95% of so-called "males" around ;-)

Idea: Why don't you together with other like-minded Iraqi ladies found a women's armed resistance group ?
Layla Anwar said…
Iraqi lover,

Why do you think I blog on Iraq if I did not trust a certain someone???
Layla Anwar said…
Reply to Web Surfer as to whom I like as Iraqi bloggers.

This is what 24 steps to "Liberty" said

Please, don't ever apologize for trying to do good. The invasion was for a noble reason. It was meant to help Iraq to get rid of Saddam Hussein, and it achieved that. I don’t agree with people who say that American brought devastation to Iraq and Iraqis by invading.
But, the occupation was wrong. It was the start of all the mistakes that were made afterwards. But that is the fault of the arrogant Bush administration and careless and full-of-hatred-to-the-Iraqis turbaned governments that were put in power.
Still, you and all other Americans should be proud that you gave the Iraqis a chance to change. It’s not your fault that the Bush administration insisted on its arrogance and the Iraqis did not prevent the horrible aftermath."

This traitor is considered a patriot by some.

Even Riverbend, the darling of the West, still has Iraq Body Count numbers on her site and has links to another scum bag of a political opportunist who complains about "US/UN meddling in the only democratically elected Iraqi parliament" and goes under the equally darling name for the West- Raed Jarrar.

The Iraqi blog count is also another blog made of a bunch of sectarian sellouts.

Last of Iraqis even though has some good posts is another 24 steps to liberty alike specimen with his constant praise for the Americans.

Konfused Kid is another sectarian idiot of an Iraqi blogger.

Neurotic Iraqi Wife lives in the Green Zone and has a first class phd in stupidity.

Iraqi mojo does not even speak Arabic, is an Iranian pretending to be an Iraqi and as sectarian as they come also sings the praises of the US Marines...and Sistani naturally.

And the list is long...

It makes you wonder with such low class caliber of "Iraqis" around, is it not "normal" for the occupation to have taken place? They are the enemy within.
They probably would sell their own mothers to please and appease....

However, the Iraqi bloggers I do appreciate are the following.

Hussein Al-Alak of Thawra Solidarity.
Imad Kadduri of Free Iraq.
Wafaa al Natheema for her contributions on Iraqi history.
Roads to Iraq, as long as she does not chant the praises of Nasrallah and Muqtada Al-Sadr which she has done occasionally in the past.
And unfortunately so. I hope she will realize that these are the same pawns on a sectarian continuum...

And that's about it really.
The rest are immature, unaware, ignorant, opportunistic, sectarian, political riff raff...

= Garbage.
Anonymous said…

Precisely because I know you trusted him that I suggested you now trust his heirs in the Ba'ath-inspired nationalist resistance.

Not every beard in Iraq is natural, many "makeovers" and "colorings" are purely strategical artifices...just wait and see.
Anonymous said…
why are you so agressive?
i am a frequant visitor of your blog and I really admire how humane and involved you are and I don't care how I wil spell your name because names are nothing but titles your parents gave us but i respect your wishes ya layla :)

as they say:
لكل امرىء من اسمه نصيب

i think it's because i am anonymous since you had your share of abnoxious anonymous n your blog

I didn't mean to offen you in any way!!!!!!

Anonymous said…
a final question:
what do you think of spiritul matters?
do you think that they can grant your some peace of mind?
elaborate please


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