An Arab Woman Blues - Reflections in a sealed bottle...

I am Layla Anwar and I am raw...I am Layla Anwar and I am naked...I have been naked for the past 8 years... I lost my skin, my dermis, my protection...what you see is nothing but flesh, raw. Raw as in no place to hide, no bunker, no shelter, no nothing...naked as is no clothes, no protection, no cover... Raw as in under open skies, raw as in unknown destinations, raw as in no country... My country was my protection...a place, as imperfect as it was, I could run back to, a place...and now I lost my anchor...am sailing, not knowing where...carried by waves and winds I can't control. No one taught me how to navigate...I was just thrown into deep waters...naked and raw... I carry my rawness with me, it is my baggage, my suitcase, my luggage...How can one let go of one's flesh ? I, We, queue in waiting...unsure...we just queue hoping...hoping for what ? We don't know... Here we are standing in line like good obedient subjects, objects, holding that rawness - that b...

There is not one corner of the Arab world that is not being turned upside down... Why is that ? What is this wabaa in Arabic, a plague in English that has caught up with us ? Could that plague be called democracy ? Like after Iraq's style of Freedom and Liberty? Sure, we have problems, had problems. But our problems are not any worse than yours...frankly not. Looking at the bigger picture, we are not any worse than you. Actually if we were, you would not be flocking in mass, trying to learn the language, eating falafels and hummus and trying to figure out the "culture". OK so you hate Arabs, many of you do. I never really understood where your inferiority complex came from...must be the language barrier, like the radical language barrier... What is this obsession and fascination of yours with the Arab world ? Come on let's have it. Apart from oil. Now, I know you can get intoxicated just thinking of it...but there is more to it. I know so. I visceral...

The Human Race, whatever this may mean --- is totally pathetic. Now, I know this runs against your humanistic activism -- whatever this may mean...but let me tell you something else...you are as pathetic. Overall, we are a pathetic people, striving for pathetic ends, using pathetic means, pathetically embellishing our accomplishments... We are a fucking disaster of a race...we are petty, stupid, short sighted, arrogant, arrogant even in our so called humbleness, we are disgracefully dishonest, and yet we like to believe that we actually lead...lead what you idiots ?! we are being collectively led by our noses...towards our total annihilation... Stupid, pathetically stupid... The human race - can't get over it.

Since April 9th, since the so called fall of Baghdad...I have sat back and watched you fall...over and over again...And every time you pick yourself up, you shall fall again... I would be a disgusting liar if I fail to confess a certain pleasure in observing you. I love observing you from afar, totally incognito...and I secretly smile inside of me. I am not by nature a vindictive person, nor do I believe in revenge, except in specific cases, and Iraq is one of them... Oh how I saw you gloat, and you've been gloating for 8 years now, gleefully, nastily, slyly, you gloated....and you mocked...you mocked with your airs of intellectual knowledge...what knowledge you garbage, you have no knowledge...you are a self seeking, self promoting, sensationalists third grade columnists, writers, bloggers, activists, and the rest... Oh and the self made experts, wanting a little bit of limelight in this grand web of illusions, pontificating about what was, what is and what should be...and...

Some say, the messenger is not important, just hear, listen to the message. I disagree with that statement. The messenger determines the veracity of the message he conveys. How so ? It can't be but so. Otherwise anything one hears, reads is taken as Truth. But if you look at the messenger, who he is, where he stands, how he conducts himself in life, only then can you determine the authenticity of his message. For me this is not open to debate. Iraq taught me so. I always take Iraq as one of the deepest and most important lessons I have learned in Life and I have learned much from Iraq. I learned all I need to learn about politics, people, loyalties, treachery, false piety, greed, corruption, violence, hatred, love, hypocrisy, lies, omissions, pain, suffering, exile, displacement, longings, yearnings, abandonment, neglect, arrogance, humility, pride, false pride, honor, dignity, truth, falsehood, beauty, ugliness, innocence, oppression...and I can keep on adding... Iraq ...

I've written much about Exile, drawing upon my feelings and of those around me...it's never an easy subject to tackle, to confront, to ponder, to look at... The thought itself, even though a stark reality, a daily lived one, is somehow always pushed at the back of my mind...I don't want to acknowledge it, I don't want to face it, I don't want to think about it...I stuff it in some corner and wish it will disappear by itself...but it doesn't. It will simply not go away. Lately I've been overwhelmed with that feeling of Exile. Not quite the right word. The right word is Homesick - Home Sick. Sick for Home. When this happens, my first reaction is to distract myself, like play hide and seek with it, diminish it, brush it off, pretend it's not there...and the more I do that, the stronger it knocks on my door, and the more I do that, the stronger it penetrates my house, like a burst dam of water that starts flooding the place...a deluge of feelings, of e...

I can already see the "left" and its "activists" drooling...they've already been shouting - freedom all the way from Tunis, to Egypt, to Libya, to Yemen...oh my what nobility of intentions! Well drool some more "nice" advocates of political freedom and social justice, ha! Just got this in and read it well. And read between the lines...if at all possible...but that would necessitate a bit of brains...sorely lacking in the sheep mentality. But in any case what difference does it really make ? Knowing you bloody lot, you would be salivating even more...Uncle Sam is directing the show and you just love it despite your o'such "progressive liberal marxist anti-oppression" facades and veneers... Here it comes the Reuters header -- hot from the Arab oven. U.S. now seeks removal of Yemeni president : The United States has concluded Yemen's President Ali Abdullah Saleh will not likely enact reforms demanded by opposition protesters ...

I really should stop reading other people's tweets and I should quit Twitter altogether...alternatively I should just talk to myself and pay zero attention to what others are talking about, because 9 times out of 10 they are talking from their asses. The latest in line of pure bullshit coming from so-called liberals, lefties and activists for "human rights and social/political justice" is the abysmal stand on Libya. Truly disgraceful, shocking, flabbergasting...you name it they are guilty of it... I observe people's reactions on the famous social media that has led so called "Spring Revolutions" in the Arab world...when the troubles first started in Libya, I said to myself - Foul play, foul play, I smell one big fat rat here and I don't like it one bit. A reader and follower of the Iraqi tragedy of which I am part, has taught me to take every thing with a huge grain of salt...in particular all these movements for "democratic change" in th...