An Arab Woman Blues - Reflections in a sealed bottle...

Yes why? What for? What does it say about you? What does it say about your countries? What does it say about your institutions? What does it say about your governments, your "culture", your "civilization", your history, your "progress", your "values", your concepts...? Have you ever stopped and pondered these questions? Have you ever stopped and asked yourselves ; how come? How come we are so advanced, how come we are so democratic, how come we are so great, how come we are so free...And how come we allow so much murder, oppression, abuse, go unaccounted for ? Have you ever asked yourself this question ? I was just listening to the BBC World radio. A report from Oxfam - and in your eyes that makes it credible - over 70 % of us Iraqis, no longer have access to clean drinking water. I say no longer have because I remember not so long ago, one could turn on the tap and drink. As simple as that. The report goes on to say that over 50% of Iraqis are u...

I absolutely have to share this with you. I just heard loud shoutings outside my window. And this is what I heard. " Bel Roh, bel Dam, Nefdeek ya Saddam". I translate. "With our soul and our blood we will sacrifice for you Saddam." Yes you guessed right, the lions of Babylon won. 1-0 The lion of Babylon the statue was blown into pieces in Basrah yesterday by unidentified gumnen, but the Real Lion of Babylon will never die. More victory to come - I promise you. I know my people. Long live Iraq, Long live the Iraqi Resistance ! Postscript: The statue of the Lion of Babylon in Basrah is not the only one that has been blown away. Blown away by gunmen who are in most likelihood the Mahdi militias since their "brain", their king thug, mullah, Muqtada al Sadr, shuns football. I have just heard that the Lion of Babylon in Hillah suffered the same fate, even worse. The Lion of Babylon in Hillah, an old Babylonian piece of art, thousands of years old had its head ...

Hello, my name is Layla and am an add'o'holic. I first noticed the signs of this insidious disease in 2003 and since then it has gone progressively worse. I did not cause it, cannot control it and am not sure if I can cure it. For those who have never heard of this bizarre affliction, I will try to describe to you the symptoms maybe you can "relate". My days are filled with this uncontrollable urge to add. Yes add, like make sum totals. I have noticed that this obsession has turned into a compulsion and I feel totally powerless. My life has become truly unmanageable. Only the other day, the urge took hold of me again. It was triggered off by learning about Iman's death. So since that day, the compulsion has resurfaced with vehemence. I can't sleep, and instead of counting sheep, I make lists. I have all sorts of lists in my head. A list of the dead, a list of the imprisoned, a list of the tortured, a list of the exiled, a list of those who disappeared... So I ...

From inside Iraq - Baghdad. I am not sure if you heard that on your news wherever you are, but 13 American soldiers met their fate yesterday in Adhamiya alone. You know Adhamiya don't you? The Ghetto of the 21st century. You know, come on now...The Aushwitz wall of Adhamiya. And (and this is important info) contrary to "popular" belief, according to what I heard, the explosives used were NOT made in Iran. Petraeus and the Farsee Mullahs have had you dancing on one leg and jingling the war alerts bells with another...Now you grow up and listen to real politics on the ground - hot from the Iraqi oven. This little bit of info was expanded upon when two seemingly non related incidents took place. And you know as well as I do that the devil hides in the detail. In a previous post I mentionned two relatives who have been detained and imprisoned by the American occupier. The first one ,Omar was transferred from an American run prison to a prison in Southern Iraq run by the Mahdi...

The impasse of the Iraq pass document. I had promised you sometime ago that I will write about the so called "Iraqi" passport. But events took the better of my time and I got sidetracked with slightly more important issues such as deaths, battered relatives, tortured family members, imprisoned relations and others who simply disappeared... So do excuse the delay. The first thing you need to know is that the process of getting a passport or renewing one or changing one is a NIGHTMARE. The new Kosher passport now holds the letter G. This passport has met and has passed "international security standards." Now if you do not have a G passport, you are screwed. If you happen to have an N, M, H or S series passport you are doubly screwed. In order to get a G -string passport and replace all the other passports series you have to go to the Ministry of Interior and fill an application form and wait for at least 3 months if not more and pay bribes and the cost of the passport...

I had a very poignant dream last night that left me shaking till this very hour, as I am writing this... I dreamt I was in what looked like a pleasant place, as if pausing on a journey. I was sitting eating ice cream and enjoying it. (I do not like sweets by the way.) Next to me came three very well dressed ladies, looking very refined. They were westerners. Their jewelery shined and sparked under the pale sun and it was a cloudy day. They sat very close to me, on the same table. Too close for comfort. They ordered a lot of food but kept eyeing and vying my little scoop of ice cream. I tried ignoring them and remained civil which I usually do in such cases. One of these very sophisticated women, simply reached out and took my little bowl of ice cream and started eating from it, as if I was not there, as if I was invisible. I told her: " Why are you doing this. You have plenty of food in front of you. This is my little plate." She retorted waving her hand brushing me away: ...

Iraq is the biggest sacrifice any people can offer for the sake of "Truth". The Iraqi "entreprise" or "experience" is the fig leaf that has unmasked many... Many Americans, many Westerners, many Arabs, many Iranians...many Christians, many Jews and many Muslims...including the Dalai Lama. (So Buddhists save your breath.) Iraq is our cross and Iraq is your salvation - of that I am certain. It is an intuitive knowledge. I just know it to be true. The same way I knew that the dream I had several months prior to the 2003 invasion to be a premonitory one. Only does the dream, I had back then, make sense now. I alluded to that dream in one of my earliest posts and titled it "The Crucified Boy and his Ressurection.". Six months or so, prior to our "Liberation", I had this powerful oneiric vision. I remember waking up in the very early hours of the morning, drenched in sweat and crying my eyes out. I relayed that dream to some members of my fam...

I cannot erase her portrait from my mind. Neither hers nor that of others I have seen, day in, day out. That same picture, as if permanently fixed, repeating itself in Baghdad, Damascus, Amman... She must have been around 70 years old. She looked thin. Her black abaya hanging loosely on her head. Her pale face showed no bitterness, no anger, no hate...I wished it did. They would have told me she was still alive. None of that. Just that lost look that has become like a stamp, a seal, a "made in Iraq" (or more aptly made in America or made in Iran) label, by which you can recognize us, us the "ordinary" ones. Strands of disheveled hair escaped from under her abaya, covering one of her eyes and she let it be... She was sqatting in the shade, propped by a cracked grey wall behind her. One hand was holding her head and the other freely hanging by her side. She was talking to herself. A common thing these days. I personally engage in it often. I heard her say :" What...

I am very pissed. I do not have many kind words towards my fellow Iraqis. Let me qualify here, before you start jumping to conclusions. I have no kind words towards that category of Iraqis who gave it away for Free to the Americans and the Iranians. I have absolutely no respect for them, no consideration and zero sympathy. I have zero respect for those bastards living and working in the Green zone. I have total disdain for those who voted and now come meagerly complain about "lack of the promised democracy"..."but we voted" broken record. Sure you voted. You voted for your sects and your wallets. I have absolutely no sympathy for those who applauded and filled their blogs with hurrays "Saddam is gone" and now cry over poor Iraq...and congratulate themselves with cheap words of sympathy coming from the occupier. It took a bunch of your kind to make it happen. Now you have lost it all. I do not want to be too cruel and say you deserve what you are getting be...

Don't you ever tire? I mean don't you ever get sick with so much killing? Does your stomach not churn? Do you not get queazy or are you on a permanent Death fix ? Us, women and I in particular, have had it with your "urges", your killing fields and your killing games. How many millions of dollars does it take to produce a bomb, a tank, a hand grenade...? So much interest in terminating Life. Like you have participated in some big way in creating, reproducing Life. Unless of course, you consider that an average 10 mn top max intercourse followed by a 5 seconds orgasm, as a major contribution to Life. The rest we need to deal with. Carry an emerging life for 9 months, labour pains, birth pangs... Maybe you are just an envious, jealous bunch. Since you cannot give birth, you take Life and give Death instead. And we are always here behind to pick up the pieces and sometimes there are no pieces left because you have included us in your filthy equation. I am sure you realiz...

I receive several comments and mails urging me to forgive. I have nothing against forgiveness. Forgiveness frees. However I do have a problem and am stuck...so maybe you can help me. How on earth does one forgive when the slight, abuse, humiliation, cruelty, destruction, annihilation is ongoing....Day in, day out. How? Forgiveness necessitates truce, a time out, a moment of peace... Forgiveness necessitates distance from the predator, from the abuser.It also needs a time of healing. It needs amends, corrections, rectifications, for all the damage. How on earth can you expect anyone to forgive when none of the above conditions are there? And moreover, why do you expect me, us, Iraqis to forgive you when there is no intention or change of course on your part? What are we supposed to do with our dead ones, our injured ones, our memories, our lost hopes, our vanished dreams? What are we supposed to do with our exile, our losses, our uprootedness? And even if we suddenly metamorphose into s...

I would have really liked to sing you a bedtime lullaby. Alas, it is simply not possible. And in most likelihood, my voice will keep you very awake. Surely, I do not want to be a cause for your insomnia. So am offering you a few short stories to lull you into unconsciousness, into a deep catatonic sleep...(not that you really need it.) But just in case you are losing sleep over the ongoing Iraqi genocide. Once upon a time... * Once upon a time, was Badiaa, Kamel's wife. She lived in a small house, borrowed house. Her husband is detained by the American dwarfs and her son has been killed by the same dwarfs. She would spend many hours sitting in her kitchen, talking to herself. She sold most of the remaining furniture she had. Only three kitchen chairs were left and she confided in them. Sometimes pretending her husband or son were sitting opposite her and listening to her woes... One night, not long ago, at 1 am, the "Iraqi" army and the dwarfs stormed her home. They sear...

Let us see here. There is Mohammed Atta and now there is Mohammed Ascha... Atta, Ascha, Gotcha... They keep getting you with al-Kayda and the Atta's and the Ascha's. Tell you warfare psychologists to diversify a tad. Innovate Dears, innovate. Do you ever wonder why they keep calling him, them Mohammed... Atta, Ascha? I mean why not Mustafa or Ali, or Hassan or Hussein or Abbass ? I will tell you why. Mohammed is a very symbolic name. No prophet has been vilified, demonized, satanized, as much as the prophet Mohammed, Peace be upon Him. This is not new. It started with the Crusades. They called his followers,Mohammedans. A word that does not exist in Arabic. Mohammedans...Next they will call us Attayans, or Aschayans... French medieval litterature abounds with base, demonic descriptions of the Prophet. He has been called all kinds of names. Lecherous, lustful, warmonger, peodophile, anti-Christ...And the portrayal has not stopped in Medieval times. In fact it has continued till ...

Have you ever felt numb? Like a paralytic numbness? I put the receiver down, stared at the wall, beyond the wall and saw yet another wall, and more walls... Unable to move, unable to take a step forward, a step back. I was stuck in that spot for what seemed to be forever. I felt the warmth of the cigarette, its heat, getting closer to my fingertips, almost burning me. I guess the thought of being burnt took me out of this trance like state...that state of being walled in. Some of you may recall that I already have 2 relatives who had been kidnapped and are now imprisoned in "Detention centers". Kamel, 60 plus, is still in American "custody". He is sick and we have no news except that he is still alive...at least we hope so. Omar, 19 years old, also detained by the Americans. Seems he has been transferred from American hands in Baghdad and moved to Southern Iraq. When we enquired about him, they said that he is in a military hospital getting treatment in Southern Ira...

I am "Free". He is "Free". She is "Free". They are "Free". And you are only a spectator... Free, Freedom, Democracy. I shudder at these words. I want to burn Plato's Republic and spit on your Constitution, on your Founding Fathers, on your Laws... Free limbs, detached, solitary limbs, scattered to the four cardinal points and a bleeding heart in the middle, like a compass. An arm to the West, a leg to the East, a head down South and a torso up North...And that damned bleeding heart in the Center. Free, so free... Free, free in Prisons. Free, so free in Detention centers... Detention centers in the Mnistry of Interior, Ministry of Defense and Ministry of Justice! Crammed, packed, jammed... The smell of blood, urine and feces...covering the infected wounds. Wounds of torture born on transparent skins covering rib cages... Free, so free. Tortured and Free in American camps. Sodomized and Free - American democracy flavor. Tortured and Free, whipp...