Space to Breathe...


This post contains profane, coarse, foul, rude, vulgar...language. You don't like it ? Fuck off !

I will ask SOME of you to STOP sending me e.mails. I do not care about your e.mails. They are a waste of time for me. They contain for the most part nonsense, shit I don't need to read or know about, stories that don't concern me...

And I don't want to receive any of your patronizing, paternalistic, pompous, condescending, e.mails either. I don't need your advice, I don't need you to tell me what language to speak, what idioms to use, what is lady like or not lady like, I don't want your critiques nor your feedback unless I ask for them. I am not your student and you are definitely not my master, teacher, or advisor. So fuck off and let me be.

My blog is the space for me to breathe, to fucking take a breath away from you and the reality you imposed upon me. Do get that into your fucking thick skulls.

I am not here to befriend you and become buddies, nor am I expecting you to love me, like me or approve of me. I don't give a fuck what you think or don't think. And I am not here to manage your feelings, your political correctness, and your ideological bents. Again I don't give a fuck about them.

I am here for me and to relay and convey to you some truths. You may accept them or not...that is besides the point for me. They are my/our truths. And I am using "our" because I know that many Iraqis feel and think the same way I do, but they lost their voices...I haven't. So you will keep hearing me until I decide otherwise.

Is it not enough that I and others had to put up with your criminality, lies, double standards, destruction, hypocrisy, murder -- and you have the fucking audacity to write to me preaching ???

What are you preaching about you fucking idiots ? You have nothing to preach, you are a fucking goner. Your days are OVER. Do you get that ? Your days are OVER.

You have no leg to stand on. All your masks have been torn away one by one and they were many. You have lost credibility, respect, standing, value, and worth....so what the fuck are you preaching about ?

Some write to me asking me to use "polite language", some write to me telling me I should be a "lady", some write to me asking me to remain "calm and not too excited"...Fuck that shit.

This stuff is for the graveyards...You be polite in your tombs once you get there, or be polite while queuing at the fucking morgue, or be polite when you are running from one prison to another searching for your loved ones...and behave like a fucking lady if you can. Yeah that's right behave like a fucking lady. Get ganged raped and tortured by your "liberators", have acid thrown at you, be forced to shut up, lose your home, lose your kids, lose your parents, lose your husband, lose your brothers and sisters...But hey, be a lady now !

And do stay calm and don't get over excited when EVERYTHING has been taken away from you. Stay Zen, really calm. This is what some schizoid Northerner wrote to me lately. Stay calm. Of course in this person's country everyone is so fucking calm they blow their brains out through suicide out of fucking despair, because of the inner "calmness". But he/she does not see that...he/she only sees how the other should be, should behave, should speak, should articulate - Me.

Fancy that ?! Telling the occupied what he/she should feel. Asking the victim to measure her words, her sentences, her idioms so you don't get too ruffled. Tone down the fucking injustice so you can keep a good face to the outer world and to yourselves. Tone it down you say...fuck you again. I will not tone it down. I will scream it as loud as I can, until you get tortured by it and go fucking insane. Just the same way you tortured us with your non-stop music banging at our heads in the dark cells...until we went insane...

And the F word...ohhhh the F word. How you cringe at the F word. And the shit word, and the ass word...you shake your heads in horror don't you ?

Yet, you motherfuckers, your programs are full of the fuck, shit and ass word. Your language is filled with it and you use it generously, with the hajjis, the ayrabs, the muzzies and the eyeraqis. Don't you ?

And not only that, you run like fucking morons to buy some racist neurotic jewish writer (and am not referring to Harold Pinter - got someone else in mind) whose novels have the word fuck in every line, but that is literature - you say to yourselves and you give away Pulitzer and Booker prizes for the "brilliance of creative writing". Because after all, the writer is white, and is from Europe or from the shit hole called America. That is different. That is class language. That is artistic expression, you say to yourselves.

But her, this Arab woman using "foul" language is so o' inappropriate. A lesser being using the master's language ? Oh my God what blasphemy ! Fuck you again.

But this is what you want. You want us/me to speak but not so much, to point out things but in a fashion that is suitable for you. To criticize within your acceptable limits. To get angry if we must but preferably not, and to do it your way, the way you have convinced yourself "others" from "those countries" should do it.

Polite, courteous, careful choice of words, so you can bask in some self congratulatory lullaby, after all your " project " has worked.

Look at how we have civilized them/her, you say to yourselves. They/she talk the language that is pleasing to the master. The rough shit we keep for ourselves. When we fuck them, rape them, torture them, bomb them, invade them, destroy them...the rough language is for us, us the powerful and we use it at our discretion, you secretly say to yourselves.

And you think we/I don't know how the above discourse is constructed and laid out ? And you think for a moment that we don't know where you are coming from ? Fuck you again.

This is my blog, this is my breathing space...I write what I need to write, in the style and the manner that befit the topic, the subject, the mood...so keep your fucking "advice" to yourselves. And go advise your governments and rulers if you can.

And in closing, some black American woman (I can't remember her name) once said.

If you don't like my Ocean
Don't swim in my Sea
Get out of my Valley
and let my Mountain be...


I strongly suggest you read the above lines several times before you preach into my head and send more of your shit my way.



Painting : Iraqi artist, Haidar Saddam.

Comments

Anonymous said…
As much as it can mean, from my own (western, white male, colonizing) body to your own self, thank you (again and again)for your writing.
I heartily applaud your intelligence and courage, dear Layla. If I was in your shoes, I would write EXACTLY the same way you do, and you do it extremely well I must add. Keep up the good work and your foul language. Much love 'n hugs, M.
J. L. Krueger said…
Aw heck!

I like you anyway even if you don't care!
Anonymous said…
You may not expect me to, but I love/like/approve of you, Layla.
Deennaa said…
Nee'tskee'lan Layla("Glad you have breath still" - our SURVIVAL Dene greetings)

I love your HONESTY. THIRST for this kind of HONESTY. I cannot always get to this pc, but I will always be looking for your commentary. Looking to see your thoughts and feelings.

You are a grand mirror for the crimes against humanity and the war crimes committed against you and your sovereign nation of Iraq.

I love you sister. I also want to thank you for letting me post my own feelings (of which not an iota really, I have time to say). Its a privilege to me to be able to write here in YOUR SPACE. Thank you Layla. Don't stop writing.

american creatures do not KNOW WHO THEY ARE. They are quite the "unteachables" and their layers of layers of layers cannot uncover their emptyness of selves. They are shallow. They are hollow. They are unknown to themselves and hence their particular mental illness. I do most emphatically believe they ARE mentally ill. I live with that every day of my life. It is crystal clear to me.

We, the indigenous of this continent, BWP (Before White People), did not have:
JAILS
MENTAL INSTITUTIONS
DRUGS DESTROYING THE FABRIC
OF OUR SOCIETIES
POLLUTION OF OUR SEAS, RIVERS,
STREAMS AND LANDS
CORRUPTED GOVERNMENTS(AND WE
MOST CERTAINLY HAD OUR OWN
GOVERNMENTS)
MAFIAS(CIA'S-FBI'S-MOSSAD)
HOMELESSNESS & DIRE POVERTY
OF THE MAGNITUDE THAT EXISTS
HERE
VAST SCHISM OF ELITE WEALTHY
TO EXTREME POVERTY
INTERNMENT CAMPS
PSYCHOPATHOLOGY
WARS UPON ANYONE(our history
re-written in grave false-
hoods & propaganda's by the
whites
BRUTAL AND SAVAGE VANQUISH-
MENTS OF ANY OTHER PEOPLES
ANYWHERE ON THE PLANET
WITCH BURNERS
CALVARY
SQUATTING SETTLERS(whites
called themselves "pioneers")
PARENT KILLERS, CHILD KILLERS
KILLERS KILLERS KILLERS
AD INFINITUM AD NAUSEUM

Everything is true that you state about these people of the LIE. EVERYTHING. I am a witness to it. My ancestor's and immediate predecessors are a witness to it.

This america you have nailed right on the mark. A stolen, robbed, thieved and murdered "NATIONS" of peoples exist here of which american whites do not have a clue of - over 500 cultural NATIONS who have the status of SOVEREIGN NATIONS due to ALL the TREATIES signed by those NATIONS leaders - culminating in a relationship called "The Trust Relationship". A "Trust" that was broken by breaking every single one of those over 500 Treaty's - nevertheless and notwithstanding that that is STILL a binding LEGAL existence to this very day. WHO of the american whites can tell you of this LEGAL STANDING under International Law, american constitutional Law and all domestic laws that exist here? I can tell you a scant scant handful. PATHETIC! Yet and still, we are a "fringe" grouping of SOVEREIGNS in OUR OWN LAND - not recognized on ANY LEVEL for who and what we represent in this phony and robbed nation of thugs, murderers, squatters, miscreants and your general dumbed, dumbed, dumbed down american white so-called civilized society.

I repeat: they are the most insane of all peoples inhabiting breathing space on earth. Why would a human being foul his own nest and, incredibly, foul ALL OTHER NESTS we ALL inhabit!?!

Oh, write on dearest friend Layla. Your TRUTHS are unassailable!

Til next time,

Deennaa!
Anonymous said…
Funny how all/most of your rage is directed at USA and not their co-invaders.
Layla Anwar said…
Aaron34,

Thank you for reading me with an open mind.
Best,
Layla Anwar said…
Merche,

Thank you dear friend, I am not sure I can keep up the foul language all the time though, it loses it's magic if overused...lol
Best to you.
Layla Anwar said…
L.L.Krueger,

Again, thank you. I replied to you on the previous thread. And I must add something here that is valid to the majority of the other readers, I have nothing personal against individuals. So please take this post as generally as possibly. Or you may call it " Layla talking to herself out loud."
Layla Anwar said…
Anonymous,

Thank you.
When there are no expectations, everything becomes a bonus.
Anonymous said…
inta 7ilo inta kolish 7ilo inta tjanen, inta tmar3es, janenetni, khabaletni, kolshi yetla3 minak 7ilo, lo 7ata fshar w kalam bathee2, kolshi yetla3 minak 7ilo ya 3asal, ya jameel inta, ya 7ayati w ro7i w 7obi inta. kol shi yetla3 minak 7ilo a7la min el 3asal w 3al ras, w kol ma tekteb kol ma tkhabulni w admin 3alek.
Layla Anwar said…
Deennaa,

Hello and nice to see you again after such an absence and it is always a pleasure reading your comments. So please feel free to write as much as you like, need, or want.

Thank you for your kind words and for me, you represent the voice of your own people, constantly reminding them, us and me in particular of the first gross injustice and violation of human dignity and of humanity, the first violation on which the USA was able to build itself...

People in general, have this tendency towards Amnesia and I believe one of the most forgotten people are yours.

So please keep on writing and keep reminding.

Best wishes to you Deennaa
Layla Anwar said…
Anonymous no.2

I will not bother elaborating a full reply to you stupid/ignorant comment full of insinuations.
Anyone who has been following my blog knows all too well, that I have spared none of the co-invaders.
So bugger off !
Anonymous said…
Layla,

This is simple. You're just a fucking cunt. Stop already with the lengthy justifications and explanations. You're a LOSER and a MORON.

Your lover, Saddam, is DEAD AND ROTTING, bitch!

*
Anonymous said…
KMWR--You got me to thinking about something. In your previous delightful blog entry and hilarious tutorial about Dogs and Arabic insults, and, now this one, I wondered to myself, what is the Arabic equivalent to all those many English language profanities centered, it seems, for reasons unknown to me, around bodily/sexual organs or acts?
Is there an Arabic equivalency????And, then, I thought to myself, IF you did a second tutorial blog in Arabic profanities, aside from or in addition to the one about dogs, comparable to the English language bodily/sexual profanities, when I graduate from your class and travel to an Arabic speaking country to employ my limited Arabic vocabulary, just think of the reception I would get with the people I meet as all those words rolled off my tongue all at once in a steady stream to demonstrate my Arabic proficiency and consciousness!!
Anonymous said…
Bravo Layla!!!
Ditto
Layla Anwar said…
LOL @ Jeefa-rey...
Layla Anwar said…
anonymous no.3

Shukran azeezee, I suppose it a Azeezee and not a Azeeztee.
Layla Anwar said…
KMWR,

Oh yes am sure, it is one of your ardent desires to demonstrate your unlimited love to the Arabs and the Muslims.
Layla Anwar said…
Csigaver,

Hello and thanks for visiting my blog and for your support.
I think Layla could released into the Community as long as she took her Haldol :)

Where as Jeffrey is beyond hope and should be confined to four point restraints.

Bring it (I know u want 2) :)
Anonymous said…
Dear Layla

Dont read their emails, delete them without reading. It is COINTELPRO. They want you to be occupied by them and only them instead of your own inner space.

Dont give them your precious energy not even your laughter.

Stay in your ocean
Swimm in your sea
Stay in your valley
Let your mountain be free....

Stay strong
LaLoupe
Anonymous said…
Thanks for this dose of reality, Layla. Although it's not exactly Baghdad, life here in the West is pretty unbearable for the sane minority. Your brilliant rants act as a reference point for us, a reminder that it's society here that's fucked up, and not society's critics. Keep up the great work.
Anonymous said…
...and here in the northern europe hermetic system children are walking around, slowly deserting their indigenous language for hollywoodian hollow expressions like "shit", "yes!!!!", "fuck", "oh my god", "cool" etc - all of "my children" preparing for the "world army" under US command - I see this every day; i hear it every day, I sense it throughout all our daily actvities - we, willingly, are letting us be suffocated by the most rotten "culture" on earth -
and, as a consequense of this oppurtunistic way of leading our life, when our time will come - NOBODY will help us out - cause the "us-americans", which we have clinged to, are actually ghosts coming from a hell creating cradle based on fear and slaughter- and they want us, conscious or unconscious, to become ghosts from the same black void just like them.
we are the despised lot, by our own creation -

but i am fighting this phenomenon.
I am fighting myself.
Pathetic enough i know. But what the fkk:-)
Anonymous said…
Some of US are one of kind - Keep goin ! :-)
KM said…
Deanna,

you are from the region known as Alaska, are you not ?
Kali Manitou said…
Layla, your space to breathe is lovely indeed
I stop by and enjoy reading every piece of meed
The fitting reply to the every asshole and weed
Some mean, and meticulous like Scottish tweed
Some incompetent like “Jeeffarey the animal feed”
They all get what they come here for and more
Also the support is there and love that comes fore
Surprising to see decency and examine settled lore
Maybe all humans are not all bad but some are sore
Maybe not everybody is all shit and foul at the core
So I do more than agreeing and disagreeing with thee
I feel and my mind flows in your space, cozy and free
I love the ocean, valleys, mountains and every tree
And forget all the graves on which I wanted to pee
Your sharing makes me vulnerable and ready to see
Shukran Ya Layla, for the truth and many a creativity spree

PS: I cannot wait for your piece about the latest attacks in Gaza and the bloodthirsty zionist pigs.
Anonymous said…
Layla,

Keep this fucking language rain down like shoes on those with thick skulls.

As Egyptians put it : "IRDAHEELHUM"

I just found your blog, I very much like it and will visit it every day.

Good luck.
Anonymous said…
Layla: I really like your blog and think you are getting a lot of good information out to people who desperately need it.

If people don't like it, you are well within your rights to tell them EXACTLY what you think.
Ian said…
I particularly like your use of the word, "motherfucker" as it is my favorite profanity. I hope you don't use it too often though as such over use could possibly lead to the de-awesomization (hey, I just made up a word!) of this versatile and useful exclamation.

I cannot recall who sang the lyrics you quoted but the chorus from the Rolling Stones' "Get Off of My Cloud" also seems to echo your sentiment--in regards to being offered useless advice-- quite well:

"I said,
Hey, you, get off of my cloud
Hey, you, get off of my cloud
Hey, you, get off of my cloud
Don't hang around 'cause two's a crowd on my cloud, baby!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ss02sfQinxI
Anonymous said…
Dearest Layla,
African American female writing...
Glad you are alive and kicking all over the web...Hope you're wearing Manolos...
Thank you.
Layla Anwar said…
Janice,

Take you on ? Keep dreaming, you are not worth it.
Go and do what what you do best - drowning yourself in alcohol.
Layla Anwar said…
Dear Laloupe,

Thank you for your tips. I have received loads of mail in the past 24 hours, half of them are hate filled...that's ok, means am doing something right.
Best wishes for 2009.
Layla Anwar said…
Dear David,

My God, it's been ages. Thank you for your support throughout and best wishes for the coming new year.
Layla Anwar said…
Martin,

Hello and thanks for visiting my blog, I believe this is your first time commenting.
Great comment by the way, you really point the finger at the underlying "malaise" that besieges U.S society. Maybe "malaise" is somewhat of an understatement.
From this end, and not just mine...it is experienced as a - can't find the right word, really in the english vocabulary...it is experienced as annihilation...a multi leveled one. I suppose that is the closest one I can find .
Regards.
Layla Anwar said…
Hiya Morris,

Thank you. I keep going but am not sure where to :-)
Layla Anwar said…
Urungu,

Great lines as usual. Sorry will not be able to compete with you this time.
I want to write something about Gaza for sure. I only was able to access the net today and NOT from my computer either. Mine is caput with a possible 100000 infections...So am using another one. Will manage to write something, I hope, if the cyber cafe owner stops breathing down my neck every 5 minutes or so...damn!
Layla Anwar said…
Baghdad's K,

Hello and thank you for your visit and your comment which had me chuckle.I like this "irdaheelum" business...I was an actual witness to a live " radha" once...it was hilarious...I was then told that the two women engaging in it, were neighbors and had a love hate relationship. They eventually did reconcile over a cup of tea...and took it up again a few days later.

I'm afraid this won't be happening here...
Regards,
Layla Anwar said…
Benny from Israel,

Thanks, I sure will do...within the limits of the possible...for now.
Layla Anwar said…
Ian,

Hello, can I borrow this " de-awesomization " word, at some later point ? lol. What would the equivalent be for other widely in use idioms like " de-cool"? and "de-groove" ?

Happy New Year.
Layla Anwar said…
Dear African American woman writing,

Thank you for your comment and visit, hope you are kicking as well...

Do excuse my "ignorance" but what does "manolos" mean ?

The only manolo I know of, was a lovely boy I had a crush on when I was 6. I called him manolo - and could not wear him either...lol

Happy new year.
Anonymous said…
i believe manolos are very expensive shoes - i could be wrong - give 'em hell Layla, don't EVER stop being yourself - tell the sorry stupid fuckers exactly what you think GOOD FOR YOU. peace man i wish there was peace from amy
Anonymous said…
Hiya Hiya Hiya, Layla Layla Layla

No one knows where to ....
Anonymous said…
Do excuse my "ignorance" but what does "manolos" mean ?

I think it refers to shoes made by Manolo Blahnik. Very popular in Sex and the City series...


Cheers

IJ
Anonymous said…
Layla,

Keep laying it down, you have to penetrate the West's "Unbearable Denseness of Being". For instance, Madeleine K. Albright is now a co-chair of the Genocide Prevention Task Force. WTF?
Manolo Blahnik is a Spanish shoemaker/designer which shoes--known as "manolos"--(terribly expensive!!) are very popular in capitalistic USA. Hugs, M.
Anonymous said…
Hi,

I was reading ur blog posts and found some of them to be very good.. u write well.. Why don't you popularize it more.. ur posts on ur blog ‘An Arab Woman Blues. Reflections in a sealed bottle...’ took my particular attention as some of them are interesting topics of mine too;

BTW I help out some ex-IIMA guys who with another batch mate run www.rambhai.com where you can post links to your most loved blog-posts. Rambhai was the chaiwala at IIMA and it is a site where users can themselves share links to blog posts etc and other can find and vote on them. The best make it to the homepage!

This way you can reach out to rambhai readers some of whom could become your ardent fans.. who knows.. :)

Cheers,
Anonymous said…
Layla,

Were you captured by Sunni insurgents? Maybe they brainwashed you. That would explain why you side with "The Resistance", which is so bloodthirsty and evil. The US sacrificed over 4000 of our boys so that your country can be free. Maybe someday on some level you will understand that.

"laylathewhore" stop with the death threats - you are worse than Layla. She is annoying, and probably indirectly responsible for continuing American and Iraqi bloodshed but at least she publishes all comments. Sooner or later the 'Resistance' will wake up and understand that the freedom Layla enjoys is thanks to great sacrifice of free people. At this point voting is more powerful than bombs.

That person who is publishing Layla's personal info and phone calls needs to stop. You are not helping to defeat Layla's ideas.

Greg from USA
Anonymous said…
Living in Spanish America (US' back yard), I know what US imperialism means.
By the way, remember that America is a continent rather than a country. (The US started its history by stealing the name of the whole continent, using it as its own.)
But my comment is on your attitude, not US, Israel or Iran or other oppressors and criminals. Is this blog a mvoie from Hollywood (or Bombay, Cairo, or Caracas), where you can tell at once "these are the good heroes" and "these are the bad villains"? It seems that the only sectarians are the other guys, not you. That before the imperialist and criminal invasion Iraq was a paradise, where every decent person was fair treated. And Iran is part of the zionist plan for world domination.
Your contra-factical view can only be understood as the blindness that hate produces in fanatics.
You wont make your enemies change by hating them. But by blindly hating your criminal oppressors (instead of trying to understand them), only makes you weaker, and them stronger.
Hate and fanatism are not the answer; they only help to reproduce the mistakes, the crimes, the blindness. They make things repeating, again and again.
Violence alimented only by hate is helpless violence.
Arabs peoples will be forever chained if you they don't change at least two things: how their present oppressors treat them, and how many Arab peoples act themselves. The first thins is extremely difficult to change, and nobody knows for sure how to do it. The second thing is much easier, but only if you want to change it. Otherwise, your only way to freedom is becoming your self the oppressor. I suspect this is what you actually want: no freedom or justice for everybody, but just for yourself (your own nation, your own people, your own religion, and so on).
So, you show the same kind of criminal and oppressor, only with not enough power, for now. I don't know who are the good guys in this movie, but you are not. You may by the victim, but Israelis also were victims in the past, and that does not made them better. They didn't learn the right lesson from their history. Would you learn it from your own?
I hope so.
Layla Anwar said…
lol@ personal info,
anyone who believes this sociopath is as delusional as him...

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