December 3, 2008

The Bollywood Mermaids.

I do not know what has come over me. I just finished a post on Geishas and now am on the topic of Mermaids...Must be some Bionic woman in the air.

But these mermaids are not just ordinary mermaids, they are male mermaids, with beards and machine guns, well at least according to the Mumbai police commissioner.

Seriously now, could not let this story go by just like that.

I was about to log off when I spotted this latest piece of news from AP. You can read it HERE. It is hilarious.

Let's have a laugh, shall we ?

Paragraph 1 reads : "The gunmen who attacked Mumbai set out by boat from the Pakistani port of Karachi, then later hijacked an Indian fishing trawler that carried them toward this financial capital on their suicide mission, a top police official said Tuesday."

OK, so a dozen mermaids took a boat from Karachi...and in the middle of the sea, hijacked an Indian fishing trawler, undetected by radars, marine patrols and check points...They must have hijacked the boat and propelled it underwater all the way to Mumbai, uncaught. Even Walt Disney could not come up with this one.

Paragraph 2 reads : "As evidence of the militants' links to Pakistan mounted, Mumbai police commissioner Hasan Ghafoor said ex-Pakistani army officers trained the group —some for up to 18 months — and denied reports the men had been planning to escape the city"

OK so these mermaids not only managed to swim through the vast Indian ocean but they were also trained by Pakistani army officers and for 18 months. Like what did the ex-army officers do, train them to hold their breath in deep waters ? And check out the rest - "and denied reports the men had been planning to escape". So, not only they swam all the way from Karachi, but they were also intending to take up residence in Mumbai - like what exactly ? Plant a tent in the middle of the city ?

Wait it gets better.

Paragraph 3 reads : "It appears that it was a suicide attack," Ghafoor said, providing no other details about when the gunmen left Karachi, or when they hijacked the trawler."

Wait a minute here ! If it was a suicide attack why did it not happen ? Why did the mermaid hijackers move from one target to another, covering 5 altogether, and engage in gun battle for 48 hours, when all they wanted to do was blow themselves up ? What made them change their minds if they were trained to be suicide bombers ? Maybe they realized that they would rather take up residence in Mumbai and start an acting career in Bollywood.

And now Paragraph 4: This is when the plot becomes REALLY INTERESTING. When did the Indian police discover all of that ? When - "the revelations came as a senior U.S. official said India received a warning from the United States that militants were plotting a waterborne assault on Mumbai. The Bush administration official, who spoke on condition of anonymity because of the sensitive nature of intelligence information, would not elaborate on the timing or details of the U.S. warning."

Oh so India received a high intelligence warning from the US itself, about a waterborne mermaid attack but did not pay any notice. India brushed it off, just like that. What's 20 mermaids or so attacking the financial capital ? Nah, nothing, no cause for concern.

Now look at paragraph 7 : "India stepped up the pressure on its neighbor after interrogating the only surviving attacker, who told police that he and the other nine gunmen had trained for months in camps in Pakistan operated by the banned Pakistani militant group Lashkar-e-Taiba. On Tuesday, U.S. officials also pointed the finger at Pakistani-based groups, although they did not specifically mention Lashkar"

Let me get this right. 12 mermaids hijacked an Indian fisherman's boat on a suicide mission, but then changed their minds and engaged in gun battles for 3 days, and they were all killed except one, who admitted he was trained in Pakistan. Come on now, even Alert in Malibu staring Pam Anderson, has better plots than this one.

And the rest of the script - read that:

"India's foreign intelligence agency also had warnings as recently as September that Pakistan-based terrorists were plotting attacks on Mumbai, according to a government intelligence official familiar with the matter.
The information, intercepted from telephone conversations apparently coming out of Pakistan, indicated that hotels might be targeted but did not specify which ones, said the official, who spoke on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to talk publicly about the details.
The information was relayed to domestic security authorities, but it was unclear whether the government acted on the intelligence."

So Indian authorities were warned by high American "Intelligence", and were aware of an impending attack since September, plus they intercepted information from telephone conversations, and this information was relayed to domestic security authorities but "It was unclear whether the government acted on the intelligence" ?
Does that not sound of a duplicate of a 9/11 set up ???

And look at the rest....this one beats them all.

"The Taj Mahal hotel, scene of much of the bloodshed, had tightened security with metal detectors and other measures in the weeks before the attacks, after being warned of a possible threat. But the precautions "could not have stopped what took place, Ratan Tata, chairman of the company that owns the hotel, told CNN. "They (the gunmen) didn't come through that entrance. They came from somewhere in the back."

Hahahahahaha. So the hotel had all the security measures as my Indian friend confirmed (see my post Framing Pakistan) but we are told, that all these security measures plus all the aforehand intelligence information could not stop the mermaids, because they swam "from somewhere in the back"... hahahahahaha.

I will let you read the rest ...Pakistan's ex-army officers is mentioned more than twice, the mermaid that was interrogated admitted to all the script, was trained to scuba dive in Pakistan and handle explosives simultaneously...bla bla bla...

But this bit is not funny at all.

"Nobody is talking about military action," Mukherjee said Tuesday, according to the Press Trust of India news agency.
However, he later appeared to backtrack, telling the NDTV news channel that "every sovereign country has the right to protect its territorial integrity and take appropriate action."

And Pakistan replied by stating : "We are examining it, we are considering it, and after consultation we will give a reply," Qureshi said of the list. "We do not want to do anything which could fan tension. We want to de-escalate matters."
He said he had told India, "We will fully cooperate with you, so that we can reach the bottom."

I'll tell you what the bottom is -- a badly directed Bollywood trash with a third class Producer in Washington D.C.

Painting : Iraqi artist, Basil Al-Obaidi.