An Arab Woman Blues - Reflections in a sealed bottle...

Took time off to think, I urge you to do the same... I thought about being an Arab. What does it mean, what is an Arab, is there such a thing called an Arab, are there many Arabs or one type of an Arab, what is the common thread, the common denominator, is it an invented Identity, an acquired Identity or has it always been there, here? What is it composed of, what defines it ? All these questions raced through my mind, all day long... These were difficult questions. The difficulty laid in that I was, on some subconscious level, trying to find an answer within some "racial" parameter. Totally unsatisfactory, I may add. Being an Arab is not about belonging to a race per se. Being an Arab is belonging to a LANGUAGE - the proverbial Mother Tongue. MOTHER tongue. Language is the medium by which you express yourself in words, acquired words, learned words, but not only...Language shapes the perception and cognition of the world that surrounds you. When you start talking i...

I've kept fairly silent on the latest wave of protests and "revolutions" that have suddenly gripped the Arab world. And that deliberately so. I am in a waiting period, observing not only the impulsive reactions but more importantly WHO will fill the political power vacuum. Before you jump and bite my head off, calling me all kinds of names, let me say that even though the masses - peoples grievances are valid, the political plot is not, not benign and far from it. I am calling it a plot for several reasons. First of all the timing. Have the Arab masses from Tunis, to Algeria, to Yemen, to Jordan, to Egypt (including the Palestinian leaks and their political implications) suddenly woke up to the fact that they are living under "corrupt dictatorships"? All at the same time ? Strange. Secondly, I am wondering why this timing coincides with a full Hezbollah Iranian take over of Lebanon. Thirdly, I am concerned, what are the alternatives presented, what i...

This has truly become unbearable, and it's been going on for over 4 years with no respite. Some readers, whether here or on Twitter, people I don't know and have no contact with, are always ready to pounce like a bunch of wild hyenas at the slightest word, sentence, I utter. The last in line are a couple of females, who sent me emails calling me dirty, filthy, messy, etc... In the not so distant past, it was males who would compose mails with death and rape threats, or just plain insults or a mix of both. On Twitter, it's the same story. I write addressing no one person in particular. Yet, I have been the recipient of the most vile forms of harassment and it is not stopping. I wonder if any other blogger has gone through the same crap I go through daily. Short of closing everything down, which is probably what these scum are really hoping for, I don't know what to do anymore. I block email addresses, cancel, delete to no avail. Fucking psychotic men and ...

Glad to announce that I was able to retrieve my old username back that was hijacked a few weeks ago, thanks to the help of a friend who cared enough about the issue and did not wish to see my name Layla Anwar and that of Iraq associated with some cheap American porn site. One cannot get used to American cheapness. So this is a public Thank You note to this person. You may now follow me on Twitter - if you wish - for this is where I also print some of my thoughts, in a condensed form. My username on Twitter is laylaanwar . And please don't harass me with friends request on Facebook, I don't use it. See you in Twitterstan, maybe.

Being a "typical" woman, I guess I'd qualify my current state as "emotional". For the past 48 hours, I have been unable to stop the replay of that conversation...maybe it was the tone and manner in which the news were delivered to me, it could have been an expression, a look in the eyes, a pause after a sentence...or maybe just the story...a story in a context, a peculiar context... I write and I wonder will anyone understand me ? How to put in sentences the expression, the look in the eyes, the silent pause full of unspoken words ? She's part of my family, of my bloodline, of my genetic pool, of my ancestral lineage, we grew up together, we played, fought, celebrated, dreamed, sang and danced together... Where is she now, in which world, in which parallel universe ? She believed in the imaginary realm of fairies, angels, jinns and invisible spirits, so did I...I was lucky, she was not. They called her to their palaces and fortresses. Will I ever b...

I amused myself googling my own name Layla Anwar. After all why not, since names get stolen, might as well know where they end up. I fell on this link . I clicked on it, and what do I find being marketed under my name - 2 naked porn prostitutes dressed as Santa being done over by Papa Santa. Their heads covered in red garments and their breasts and genitals exposed to the world. Their bodies contorted so their orifices are made visible, so that the god that rules what's between your thighs can have his final say. That god that pulls at your strings like paper dolls, like puppets and controls your inner being. That  pagan god around which a billion dollar industry is generated just to cater for your 3 seconds masturbatory orgasm, giving you illusions of potency, strength, virility and femininity. I looked at this picture for a while, and for me it summarized everything about your decadence. Santa is celebrated in the Western tradition as some emblem symbol of abundance, when ...

Someone stole my USERNAME on Twitter laylaanwar This person not only hijacked my name but is selling it on Twitter and Facebook. The only follower this new laylaanwar has on Twitter is a PORN site. Moreover it has provided an email address where you can actually trade in my name. So you fucking bastards sons of bitches, it was not enough for you to rip Iraq apart, pillage it and steal its resources, you also have to use my name to trade in and make a few dollars. You are cheap motherfuckers, but then that's nothing new. Munch your fucking dollar bills when you are 10 feet underground. Awlad al Sharmoota My new username on Twitter is @sommeria , until Twitter actually gets off its ass and does something about name stealing and trading.

Am on a roll, might as well get to the bottom of it...I can always crash later. In my post no.2, I spoke of agendas, cleansing, i.e erasing... This is totally normal. You can't impose a new culture if you don't erase the previous one. To erase a previous one, you need to obliterate anything that held it together. That seems so evident to me. Like common sense. No ? Was it secularism that held it together ? Destroy that. Was it a person, an intelligentsia ?Cleanse that. Was it a multi diverse culture ? Reduce it to quantifiable entities. Was it a state apparatus and a leadership ? Dismantle it. Was it a sense of belonging to a history ? Erase it and re-write the curriculum (this is actually happening in school curriculums). What are we to conclude from 8 years of the most hideous, brutal, savage destruction ? Was it because of Saddam Hussein ? Was it because of WMDs ? Was it because of Al-Qaeda that never existed in Iraq before the Americans occupied us ? Surely ...

Am picking up where I left off... I am writing this for myself...not for the reader. I have come to learn that the so-called reader does not effect any difference whatsoever. Hence whether s/he understands or not, does not make the slightest difference... Against this background of "deprivation" , came an occupation with an agenda. The agenda of sect, ethnicities, religion etc... The grounds were prepared in the early 90's. Iran with its so called Islamic Revolution had already one foot in Iraq, capitalizing on the Shiite population. Iran was only able to fully impose itself as a cultural ideology (forget politics for the moment) in 2003 after the American invasion and occupation of Iraq. Before that date, it had some influence through its Shiite clerics in Najaf and Kerbala, but that influence was limited. The American invasion and occupation of Iraq paved the way for the erasure of the Iraqi identity coupled with the strong Iranian hallmark that accompanied t...

I feel very sad for Iraqi women...I feel very sad for myself. I see them struggling day in, day out, with no support...I see them aged by a 100 years...I see them still trying to figure out what happened to them... I feel sad for Iraqi women...for what they had to endure, what they endure today, I feel sad for their silence, their losses and the indifference that surrounds them... I feel sadness and pride at the same time... I know how tenacious we are.

I was not sure how to title this post, for it is a fairly complex subject that needs to take into account several factors. I will start easy and simple and see where that will take me... Echoes I hear from Baghdad and I will refer mainly to Baghdad as the center - the eye of the storm, so to speak, and from my observation of Iraqi refugee youth outside of Iraq, either those whose have already emigrated - been placed in another country or are still caught in a limbo, in some psychological no man's land, unable to move back or move forward... The age group I shall focus on is the 15-25 years old or so. Bear in mind this is not an in depth sociological study nor is it meant to be. It is more like a mix of observations, experience and listening to people. But before I do, I need to rewind back in time a little, first to the sanctions years then to the 2003 U.S occupation. These young men and women were born during the sanction years or just a little before. The bulk of their g...

I've had a few but great teachers...but one teacher that never abdicated is Iraq. She has been my biggest teacher and to Her am indebted for ever...Through her I learned so much, through her pain, her suffering, her sacrifices, her steadfastness, her dignity, even through her treachery...I learned. She is my Master. She gives sweet and sour fruits...she made me taste the honey and the bitter arsenic... She promised the Gods to sacrifice herself for Truth, so it can be revealed to the end of Times... She never failed in Her promise.

Seriously, what does Democracy mean ? What does it REALLY mean ? Freedom of Speech and Majority Rule ? Someone define that fucking word to me. Because after 7 years of liberation, I still don't get it. What does democracy mean ? The grocer next door is selling toilet paper called Freedom and Democracy. Bought a roll in hard currency....he said to me - only dollars will do. I found the paper too hard on my ass... Went back to him, complaining, said to him - this paper is too hard on my soft skin. He told me the price was worth paying... He had memorized the Madeleine Albright democrat cunt a few years prior...who stated when over half a million soft skins of Iraqi babes went blank with death, that American democratic cunt said - she said - the price was worth it What does your fucking word - your fucking democracy - mean ? apart from some sore ass caught in some freedom dungeon...apart from a mass grave for children.