March 19, 2008

Occupied...



There are days when I wake up in the morning, I feel a lump stuck in my throat.
I know from intimate observation, that it tends to form during the night and bloom in the morning like a budding flower that needs light to open up...Except in my case, it is not a flower or anything resembling a flower...it is just a lump.

I try to swallow, but I feel my swallowing as if obstructed. The lump feels like a bloc of cement, a wall of concrete...

I reach out for the glass of water that I keep by my bedside, I take small sips and feel the water zigzaging through the cement wall, like a gentle leak trying to seep through whatever cracks it finds...

I clear my throat, I cough a little, and take more sips of water, hoping to dissolve that stone...

As the day proceeeds, I feel the stone move into my plexus, and lodge there until evening...

I eat something, hoping my stomach enzymes will disintegrate it, only to have it move further down in my belly, by evening time...

By night, I consciously try to push it down, only to feel it embed in my pelvis...

I push harder as in some labour pangs, push harder and harder but no delivery is forthcoming...there is nothing to give birth to.

Then I realize, I 've just lived through yet another day of Occupation.


Painting: Iraqi artist, Mohammed Sami.