Uncomfortably Awake. 1
What a start to the day! What a start.
Yesterday I promised myself that I will break that pattern - the pattern of long sleepless nights, where I feel am constantly jet lagged even though my butt has not moved from my chair.
I said to myself, "ya Layla - be normal again please" So I struck a deal with my alter ego, that commanding voice of reason and promised it that I will hit the sack early, like real early...like 11 pm is real early for me. I also promised that imperious voice of normality that I shall not come close to my computer before retreating to sleep. Finally, I thought to myself, a full night sleep, no nightmares, no thoughts cogitating in my head about Iraq, Haiti, Afghanistan, Gaza, Iran, the world...just a normal, benign night....and lo and behold, I kept to my promise.
Never mind that I woke up startled, feeling am missing something important only two hours later, then forced myself to slumber again, only to wake up another two hours later...I realized that my plan had failed but still, I was happy with the deal. I finally returned to my old self - the normal good girl. What an achievement.
So at the crack of dawn, I rose from a bad night sleep, went through my usual ritual, and rushed to smell my coffee brewing...all was silent around me...even birds were still fast asleep...I must have definitely accomplished the impossible . Sleep early and rise early, with about 4 hours of punctuated sleep.
With industrial quantities of coffee in hand, still a little dazed in the obscurity of dawn, I sat at my computer and do what I usually do - start the day with the news. And what a lousy way to start the day. Then check my mail. Then "attack" tweets hoping I have not missed out anything from yesterday's news...
And all that was dished out my way, this cold morning, is more news...
Haitians still scrambling for food and water, let alone the 1000's of injured with no care, a totally desperate situation to which I frankly see no way out, specially that the U.S has now found the perfect opportunity for a long term military presence under the guise of aid delivery...
News from Guantanamo, where it is all too clear that was passed for years as suicide of detainees was nothing but murder by the "strong and the free" - the murder of innocent prisoners, detained with no charges, abjectly tortured to death then mutilated to erase traces of the crime by the "strong and the free."
The news from Iraq where the Shiites from Iran are doing everything possible to ensure that only they present themselves to the forthcoming elections, by banning all secular and non Shiites representation i.e Sunnis.
Which of course lead me to remember the ongoing genocide against Arab Sunnis in Iraq, the ongoing genocide led by Iran and its Shia supporters, a genocide within the grander American genocide on the Iraqi people.
And of course that lead me to question for the 100th time the role of the filthy, despicable, depraved, perfidious Iraqis who supported and still support either the American or Iranian occupation of Iraq or both...
These filthy, rotten to the core, dishonorable, undignified traitors on CIA/Pentagon payrolls and on Iran's -- who still 7 years on, despite the holocaust, despite the destruction, despite the exile, despite the mass terror inflicted upon us by both the Americans and their Iranian counterparts, still manage to praise, justify, rationalize, propagandize, glorify either the US or Iran.
These filthy, depraved, complicit criminals calling themselves Iraqis, who made their money and fame from Iraqi blood, they live inside Iraq and outside of Iraq, they are men and women, young and old ; bloggers, journalists, so-called activists, so-called feminists, some are running NGOs, other are "analysts and experts", spokespersons...some of them are hiding in their spider holes, their rat holes in America, Europe, and elsewhere spewing more lies and more garbage, covering up the crimes, and some come to the limelight and appear in the media, having pocketed good sums of money from the murderers of Iraq, their masters. And they dare speak in the name of Iraq and Iraqis !
One day, I will list their names one by one, and who their masters are, one by one. One day I will give you historical resumés of each of one them, what they did, what they pocketed, who they contracted with, who they spied for, who paid them....and how much of their selves they sold to "make it".
Yet none of these filthy ones, these political prostitutes, these pimps for America, England, Iran, none of these brothel matrons, living in their spider holes, in their rat holes, who barked like rabid flea ridden dogs about the ills of "dictatorship", none of them returned to live in Iraq now that it is "free".
And those who did return, only did so temporarily...only returned to make more blood money... and they would leave the minute things get a little rough...in their new Iraq, their new Iraq of blood, murder, corruption, theft, prostitution, drug addiction, child trafficking, torture, rape...their new Iraq...
They are quick to return to England, America, Iran, or wherever they have set up their permanent residence, their permanent whorehouses, to sell themselves even more, checking on their bank accounts, pocketing some more and wait until things, until security gets a little better so they can return and sell more Iraqi blood...
These Iraqis, men and women, and there are plenty of them is what is really wrong with Iraq.
They are the first killers, the first criminals, the first murderers, the first accomplices, the first seeds of Death...
These are the filth, the garbage of Iraq and the dustbins of History and the pits of Hell will be their eternal abode.
I have more news from this morning wake up call...but I need to go back to sleep now. This awakening is way too uncomfortable.
Painting : Iraqi artist, Abdel Amir Alwan.