December 15, 2006

New age Me and I'll New age You...

Another American Soap Opera .
James Bond and the Cowboys report. Oops , sorry meant the James Baker report which basically summarizes as follows : Change course and think of our long term oil interests.
Now the cowboy G.Bush stated only yesterday that :"The Enemy has not been defeated yet. "
Danger is still looming . How about another 5 million Iraqis dead , will that attenuate your fears? Not important, let's not get side tracked with details.
George.W.Bush says that he has a plan. A plan dictated by none other than God himself. (and yes politically correct feminists, in this instance it is definitely a HE, so lay off my back.)
I will relay to you what exactly happened.
G.W.Bush retreated into his holy grounds , kneeled down and prayed for guidance.
God himself manifested his glory to Bush and told him : "Son, your job ain't done yet, go get em' Georgie .The anti Christ six headed Beast is still lurking somewhere in Baby-lawn."
God usually manifests himself to George either as an oil barrel, a cowboy's rifle or as a carefully delineated map of the Temple Mount in Jerusalem with the precise location of where the "rapture " will take place prior to the second Coming.
( If you don't believe me ask Ted Haggard. He knows everything about raptures and second comings)
George's "Higher Power" ( A.A would have done a much better job,trust me on this one) is a blond blue eyed Higher Being from Arkansas or is it Texas ?
God continued: "Son, those ayrabs mooslims are no good, I got no convenant with them lot. It takes a man son, and you are my prodigal child, my chosen one."
Upon hearing those sentences , George redressed himself still all shook up by yet another divine revelation and proclaimed that he is staying on course , i.e business as usual in Eye Raq.
(Ok Eye Raqis go fetch some more wood for coffins. Heard you can get them at a discount price on Ebay.)

In the light of the above "developments" my friend Joanna, a European, sent me an email.
She has been reading my blog and is concerned about my "state".
She believes that I am zooming in on too much negativity and am not seeing the glass half full but am adamant to see it half empty. Little does she know that there is no "glass" left.
I know she means well and being spiritually evolved, she can afford to be detached somewhere out there in Europe.
Her explanation for the Iraqi Disaster is simple. She says it is all Karmic .
All the dead, maimed,tortured Iraqis are paying their dues for past sins from some other reincarnation.
I asked her if Othman , Omar and all the D.U babies also qualified ? She said "yes".
What about the raped girls like Abeer and the castrated men in Abu Ghraib?
An affirmative "yes" was her reply."We don't know what horrors they committed in their past lives, they might have been members of the Nazi Gestapo" she added.
Ok- now am relieved to know that .
She suggested I apply some "spirituality" to the whole thing .
I will follow her advice and this what I will ask of you :
Take a map, spot Iraq on it. Visualize it as a burning hell hole, kind of pitch black.
Now close your eyes and send positive vibrations to Her and her people.
Send beams of white light (please make sure it is not phosphorus)
Burn incense and let the fumes rise up and imagine them purifying the land of the Tigris.
Apply mental fragranced healing balms to the wounded and torn apart and chant your favorite mantra.
Stand in a circle and dance to the beat of cosmic drums and channel Sumerian spirits.
Meditate with a burning white candle and go Zen Iraq.
Reiki it. Shaman it. Trance it. Do your Holotropic breathing on it ... I don't long as you send some Love our way .
You can implore whichever Divinity you fancy. Allah, Elohim, God, Christ, Mother Nature and the four Elements, Buddha, Krishna, Shiva, Shakti , Cosmic Consciousness , your Higher Self ...absolutely anything. Just make sure it is not the blond blue eyed Dude from Texas.

You may ask yourself : Ok, what 's in it for me ?
To which I will reply : We have a mutual vested interest here .
You "pray" our way and Iraq is restored to wholeness and the pay off is : You will be rid of the delusional megalomaniac psychopath who is ruling your lives . It's dialectic or put in simple terms -The door swings both ways.
You New Age me , I'll New Age you. Get my drift now ?
So keep on praying will ya' ?

Painting : Iraqi Artist , Mohammed Sami